Uncomfortable interactions with ex-therapist

sorry to hear you are going through, what sounds like, very stressful time @SaltwaterSoul

Doesn’t sound like behaviour and interactions I would expect from any therapist, whether current or not. Sounds like behaviour that has crossed the line of professionalism

Do you feel having a one to one conversation with the ex-therapist and explaining how you are feeling could be an option?

if unable to have one to one conversation, how would you feel about putting things in writing and giving that to the ex-therapist as an option?

do you feel you can discuss the situation with your current therapist? Seeking support/guidance from them.

I had issues with psychiatrist I was seeing a couple years ago and didn’t feel I could explain things verbally. I wrote a letter containing everything I wanted to say. I asked the psychologist I was seeing at that time to read it and provide any feedback to me. Something I found helpful for me. Putting everything in writing gave me a feeling of having a voice and being heard.

Do you feel discussing the situation with uni faculty could be an option? Explaining the situation with view of possible harrassment if all your attempts to stop the behaviour are unsuccessful

@SaltwaterSoul I read your post three times. I concur with @Flutterbug9

Red flags 🚩 everywhere.🙌🏼

Other people’s behaviour is not your burden to bear.

No one should ever put you in a position of covering their *ss

For your own wellbeing, please disclose this information to your current therapist.

@Flutterbug9 @Glisten

Thank you for responding to my post. I just didn't know what to do, that's why I decided to write a post about it first. It feels somewhat grounding that it seems like my gut feeling about this was right after all.
I'm not sure if she may feel sorry for me, or trying to support me, especially since I have disclosed quite traumatic experiences to her in the past when she was my therapist, I feel at times that perhaps she is too emotionally attached to my story, though I can't be certain of this.

I don't think I feel comfortable addressing this verbally to her, even if I asked to meet her somewhere private. I can't see myself doing that, it would make me feel too overwhelmed, I'm already feeling tensed about it as it is. A letter could be an option, and maybe give to her next time I see her, but I should probably mention it to my current psychologist first. It's probably the best step right now. Thanks for some advice, I really appreciate it.

@SaltwaterSoul Two of the biggest truths I have learned in the last year.

1. Vulnerable people are targeted and taken advantage of.

2. Often helping isn’t helping. It’s enabling.

Go with your instincts.

That's such a tough one. I been thinking about your situation over and over again to consider what I would do in her or your situation. @SaltwaterSoul

I can see why you would feel so umcomfortable. At the same time, I can also see why your ex-therapist would want to talk to you. I'm a bit torn.

Question: Was your ex-therapist a psychologist? The reason I'm asking is because different professions have different codes of practice/conduct that they have to abide by.

Whilst your ex-therapist's behaviour might not be 'wrong', the question is, is it ethical? These are two different things.

But like @Glisten said, go with your gut. If you are not comfortable, then it raises red flags.

Your psychologist might have more insight into the various codes of practice.

I may of forgot to mention but these interactions have been on-going for quite a while.

For my own healing, I feel like I need these interactions to stop somehow. I don’t find it helpful. It put me in a very awkward and confusing situation. It’s hard to describe exactly why, but it feels like it interferes with my trauma healing.

I also struggle with the fact that she knows some of my history. Because of that, part of me wonders if she might realise that these kinds of interactions could be difficult for me, and that maybe it would be better to check in with me first. Especially considering that I have complex PTSD and have been struggling a lot. Instead, it feels like the responsibility is all on me to manage the situation and figure out what to do. I think that’s part of the reason I haven’t talked about it yet with my current psychologist. I worry about hurting my ex-therapist’s feelings, and I know that, that is probably not a healthy way to think about it. But that’s where I find myself right now, and I struggle to understand how this situation even developed. I never asked for it or suggested anything like this. I have never actively approached her. If I see her, I don’t go up to her or try to start a conversation.

My current psychologist doesn’t show any of these behaviours, and that works much better for me. She understands the things I truly wish for, but she doesn’t cross those boundaries. Instead, she helps me understand and work through my trauma, and that’s what I really need.

@tyme @Glisten @Flutterbug9

@tyme

About your question, I can’t clearly remember if she actually said she was a psychologist or not. I do remember that she introduced herself as “Dr.” the first time I met her. At that time everything was a bit of a blur for me. I was in a kind of shock mode because of my trauma, if that makes sense, so I wasn’t really paying attention to titles or those kinds of details.

Comparing the experience I had with my ex-therapist to the psychologist I’m seeing now, the approach feels quite different. My current psychologist seems more experienced with the kind of trauma I’m dealing with.

Thank you for responding to my post anyway. 💛

What I've noticed about therapists is that they all have their own approaches. It doesn't necessarily mean one is better than the other. It depends on the need of the client. @SaltwaterSoul

Can you do a search online about what she is?

I've read your posts and I hear your concerns. If I'd disclosed so much to someone, and then see them in a different setting, I'd feel irk too.

You are not alone. Your feelings are valid.

@SaltwaterSoul I have done couple of google searches using wording similar to this situation. Results are below. First relates to psychologist, second relates to psychiatrists

Summary of both is it is not considered appropriate for either MH professional to approach a formal patient in any type of casual or informal setting.

As both @tyme and @Glisten @both mentioned, your gut feeling has you feeling uncomfortable about the situation for a reason. Lots of red flags due to the way the MH specialist is inappropriately interacting with you

@tyme

@tyme

I did an online search. To my surprise, it appears that she may not be a psychologist. Based on what I could find, she seems to be a counsellor with a background in social work, with a focus on areas such as trauma and abuse. I could not find anything indicating that she is a registered psychologist..

This may explain something that confused me at the time. I always thought she was a psychologist, but now it makes sense. I think because I was very lost and in a dark place last year, I just assumed she was. After she left, like I said, they basically pushed me out the door and said they couldn’t help someone like me, that I was too complicated, too difficult. In my opinion, it could have been said better, it was quite harsh..and I remember feeling that it's something wrong with me because people can't help me, they never explained it in a good way, but perhaps no one there was simple trained enough to help me at that level.

My ex-therapist was a really good support at the time, but compared to my psychologist now, it’s just a whole different level, if that makes sense.

Anyhow does this change the code of practice? What do you think?