Panic Attack and Anxiety

Been struggling with my depression lately. Probably didn't help that I forgot to take my meds last night. Second time in a week.
My mood has been flat for days. Easily irritable. Even here on the forum, I find myself getting irritated. And with friends.
That is not who I am. I hate that this is how depression can change my personality. Make me someone I'm not.
Started to get anxious about traveling into the city tomorrow. Not my favorite place. Too many people. And now with my depression up front and centre, it just increases my anxiety about the trip to Melbourne.
Started to notice my breathing changing patterns and my body getting 'trembles'. The beginnings of a Panic Attack. Just the thought of a Panic Attack, increases my anxiety and the attacks strength.
Just the thought of it, turns my rational thinking to mush. And the fears come rolling in. It's bloody awful.
So I've been watching some tele - trying to distract myself. Looked up coping techniques for Panic Attacks online. And read through some helpful tips.
It's amazing. I know this stuff. I normally 'live it'. The calm breathing. The knowing I can't die from a Panic Attack. All of that. But I thinkiit's been helpful to look at the helpful tips again. Especially when an Attack feels like it's coming.
I still feel 'jittery' & out of sorts. Anxious. And teary. But I'm breathing through those thoughts and calming myself down. At least to a level where I don't feel like the Panic Attack is about to hit.
I hate these attacks. I hate depression. I hate anxiety. I hate it all.
But I can get through it. I can get past this latest episode.
I just need to keep breathing.
(No responses needed. Just needed to put it out there. To express it)