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Advice

Advice

Our daughter has been diagnosed with bulimea and is waiting for a short stay vacancy. now she is having second thoughts and may refuse to go even though her family, GP and psychologist strongly recommend she goes. We love and support her, but we can’t force her to go?! She is over 18.

6 replies

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In response to: Advice

Re: Advice

Hello @Saints

Thank you for showing up and sharing so openly and honestly. My heart goes out to you and your family during this challenging time. I'm sure there will be others in the forums community who will chime in with some support and ideas.

Have you heard of the Butterfly Foundation? Here is a link to their website and helpline.

They might be able to offer you and your family some support.

Helpline - Butterfly Foundation

Caring for someone with an eating disorder - Butterfly Foundation

The forums is a beautiful supportive community where people share their experience, challenges, coping strategies and more. Since you are new to the forums you might like to check out this link and introduce yourself https://saneforums.org/t5/Welcome-and-getting-started/Welcome-Introduce-yourself-here/m-p/1149480

We're glad you're here with us.

Sending you all my best.

hopeful_hannah 🤗

In response to: Advice

Re: Advice

Hey @Saints

Dealing with a diagnosis like this is incredibly taxing, and feeling caught between your daughter's autonomy and her urgent medical needs is a heavy burden to carry.

I can only imagine how incredibly difficult and heart-wrenching this must be for you and your family. It's clear how much you love her, and that feeling of powerlessness when an adult child resists the help they need is exhausting and saddening.

It makes sense that she's feeling scared and having second thoughts. Stepping into treatment is a huge leap, and it can be quite overwhelming. Even if she is over 18 and technically in the driver's seat, your steady presence and refusal to give up on her are perhaps her strongest safety nets.

Something I recommend trying is asking her curious questions to explore why she's feeling the way she is, which might make her more comfortable and brave to go ahead with treatment (e.g., "What is the scariest part about going?" rather than "Why won't you go?").

And while no one can force her, you can set boundaries about what you and your family can support at home if she chooses not to seek professional help.

I highly recommend having a look at the Butterfly Foundation for support and resources for Eating Disorders.

Sending you all strength as you, your family and daughter navigate this journey; I'm hoping she finds the courage to take that step.

In response to: Re: Advice

Re: Advice

Thank you so much, this information and your supportive comments are so good to hear

In response to: Advice

Re: Advice

Hi @Saints ,

I hear your daughter's fear and apprehension. It sounds incredibly hard for you all.

I hope she finds a way to have hope, and only then will she be able to make the most of the stay. I hear that its not going to be easy for anyone.

Fingers crossed things work out.

Please remember your own wellbeing. As carers, we tend to give all, but we know we can't pour from an empty cup.

We look forward to hearing how it all goes.

In response to: Re: Advice

Re: Advice

How's your daughter going? @Saints

In response to: Re: Advice

Re: Advice

Our daughter is much the same
But has said she will go to the clinic thank goodness. She is really
Now just waiting for the call - not really engaging too much but just getting through each day. She knows she is surrounded by love. My husband and I are doing okay - yep it’s hard being the career and easy to forget we need to stay healthy for her and the rest of our family. Talking with friends over the weekend helped too - the more we share the more encouragement we get. Thank
You so much.
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