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Being misstreated

Being misstreated

This is my little rant in this forum.

I am going on 31 and have a brother about 1 year younger than me. Throughout my whole life in our family there was not much love and communication. My brother and I did get along but the majority of the time he and I would not get along and often my father and I would gang up on him and call him names and get our self esteem from this. To me as a child growing up I thought it was ok to do this and never understood what it would be like to be my brother.

My father and mother never communicated emotion and thier relationship was feuled with negative energy. This is where the trigger was I feel and where the dissharmony arose.

My mother only recently said to me that at one stage she said to my brother that my fathers opinion did not matter. To me this may have been the trigger which over time sent me off in the wrong direction. When she told me this it set off alarm bells in my head and that she never spoke to me but spoke to my brother. I think she said this was around when my brother was 14. At around 15 I started drinking and at age 17 started taking drugs. To me this seems all to coinside with each other too much to be a coincidence. When I have asked my mother why she never trusted me as a child and spoke to me she says I did until you started taking drugs. Then she says that I lost her trust but now I have it back.

My brother took drugs and drunk I know this but now I hear she said she told my brother my fathers opinion did not matter it makes me realise she put all her trust in to my brother and left me with my father. My father and I got along but our relationship is terrible, if you have read my other thread in the Our Experience and Stories forum http://saneforums.org/t5/Our-experience-stories/Living-with-depression-and-anxiety/m-p/17866#M2415my father is adopted and is very detached. I think my mother sees the side of him in me and rejects this and this is what has happened throughout my life. Neither my mother and father can seem to accept both thier childs.

Anyway that is my problem I find at the moment with my family. I find I do not get the respect and understanding I deserve.

I speak with my mother tomorrow 15/02/2015 for my birthday 16/02/2015, I will let you all know how I go.

Thanks for your support.

336 replies

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In response to: Being misstreated

Re: Being misstreated

Happy Christmas @Troubled_One

In response to: Re: Being misstreated

Re: Being misstreated

Hey apple merry christmas I hope you had a good one?

For me,

mine was bad.

met with my family and brother and half brother, but it was hell and am realising why i am constantly in hell this knee troubles me so much, at the table i got so angry cause i could not join in because i feel i cant i said i was leaving and left.

merry christmas at @PeppiPatty

sorry not in a better mood but i am sick of this. staying inside all day feeling like i dont belong all the while knowing if my leg was better i would join in and fit in to life and my family, but i just cant i have no confidents to stand up to people and just be myself and my family would just tell me i am talking about the past but its for life now.

This is why i work so hard cause i am so depressed and in such a low mood all the time life is beyond difficult.

In response to: Re: Being misstreated

Re: Being misstreated

Hi @Troubled_One,

Sorry to hear that you had a rough day.

Christmas day in particular can be challenging because there's so much emphasis on family and friends.

Unfortunately, you are not alone. Many people feel like they don't belong. Please remember, just because you feel this way, doesn't mean it's the truth.

I'm worried because you mentioned that you're feeling really low. Are you feeling safe tonight? It's great you're on here chatting.

But if things get too much and you feel at risk, please don't hesitate to contact crisis support.

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling

Mensline 1300 789 978 (if relevant - sorry, not sure of your gender)

If in immediate danger: 000

CherryBomb

In response to: Re: Being misstreated

Re: Being misstreated

@CherryBomb I just realised today that I am in a low mood and psychotic all the time because I just dont quite fit in I feel with my disability,

I went for a walk just then and made me feel a bit better, but I have those numbers on my phone if I start feeling unsafe again.

In response to: Re: Being misstreated

Re: Being misstreated

@Troubled_One

Yes, please do call those numbers if you start feeling unsafe.

A sense of belonging is something that most people struggle with from time-to-time. This is further complicated by having a disability. Please remember that this is not because of you. Having a disability is health issue, and like having a cold, it does not mean that there's something wrong with you.

Have you ever felt like this before @Troubled_One?

In response to: Re: Being misstreated

Re: Being misstreated

I have felt it before,

But today with the family it was more clear why I am always paniced and never wanting to be around people. This is the first time our whole family has been together for chirstmas for 15 years and made me see more clearly why I do not fit in in socail life.

I am so easily tempted to panic because of my confidents and today made me realise with my family why.

And there are all the past and present problems contributing to everything.

In response to: Re: Being misstreated

Re: Being misstreated

@Troubled_One

Most people would find seeing their family after 15 years daunting and nerve wracking. Not that I want to take away from the panic that you faced, but what I'm trying to get at is that it was an understandable trigger.

Please remember that these are only thoughts, they are not necessarily the truth.

In the past, how have you gotten through feeling this way?

In response to: Re: Being misstreated

Re: Being misstreated

I think that is what might have got me without knowing it, seeing my family together and especailly when they all act like nothing is wrong maybe not for them but for me I am always scared. My anxieties usually are at 100%.

When I am like this normally I just panic and lose my mind until I find some truthful way out but today, when I went for a walk it was like a bit of pressure was lifted off perhaps I do not have to understand everything like its my religion.

In response to: Re: Being misstreated

Re: Being misstreated

Sorry you had a tough day @Troubled_One. I just wondered how you were. It seems you also had a lot of realisations about family though.

It has helped me a lot to take control of my christmas .. and decide not to let the whole silly season upset or control me ... we were just quiet and pleased ourselves.

Glad you popped onto the forum ... stay safe.

In response to: Being misstreated

Re: Being misstreated

Dearest @Troubled_One

Thank you for writing in. To be honest : I have personally done some very strange things in the past ..... Because of family meetings at Christmas. it's so Easy to feel anxious around family at Christmas.

I think you are very brave to write in here.

Thank you for writing and sharing your experiences.
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