FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Something’s not right

Being misstreated

Being misstreated

This is my little rant in this forum.

I am going on 31 and have a brother about 1 year younger than me. Throughout my whole life in our family there was not much love and communication. My brother and I did get along but the majority of the time he and I would not get along and often my father and I would gang up on him and call him names and get our self esteem from this. To me as a child growing up I thought it was ok to do this and never understood what it would be like to be my brother.

My father and mother never communicated emotion and thier relationship was feuled with negative energy. This is where the trigger was I feel and where the dissharmony arose.

My mother only recently said to me that at one stage she said to my brother that my fathers opinion did not matter. To me this may have been the trigger which over time sent me off in the wrong direction. When she told me this it set off alarm bells in my head and that she never spoke to me but spoke to my brother. I think she said this was around when my brother was 14. At around 15 I started drinking and at age 17 started taking drugs. To me this seems all to coinside with each other too much to be a coincidence. When I have asked my mother why she never trusted me as a child and spoke to me she says I did until you started taking drugs. Then she says that I lost her trust but now I have it back.

My brother took drugs and drunk I know this but now I hear she said she told my brother my fathers opinion did not matter it makes me realise she put all her trust in to my brother and left me with my father. My father and I got along but our relationship is terrible, if you have read my other thread in the Our Experience and Stories forum http://saneforums.org/t5/Our-experience-stories/Living-with-depression-and-anxiety/m-p/17866#M2415my father is adopted and is very detached. I think my mother sees the side of him in me and rejects this and this is what has happened throughout my life. Neither my mother and father can seem to accept both thier childs.

Anyway that is my problem I find at the moment with my family. I find I do not get the respect and understanding I deserve.

I speak with my mother tomorrow 15/02/2015 for my birthday 16/02/2015, I will let you all know how I go.

Thanks for your support.

336 replies

311 - 320 of 336

In response to: Being misstreated

Re: Being misstreated

Oh yeah the budget, I will look at that. Thanks for the help.

I need oil for stretch marks lol, I am only a little overweight but have stretch marks.

I got to say too, that I want to talk about my mother as well, i remember a while ago you saying your mother is naracistic I did not know what that meant but I think my mother loves herself too. I feel like everytime i talk to her it is her trying to get me off her back and her having wonderful memories of everything. @Appleblossom mentioned this a while ago as well, that, she never gets satisfaction from anything. For me all I see is my life really going no where, with my knee I dont really enjoy anything, I think appleblossum feels this way from her kids and her upbringing. My knee gives me skizophrenia, because I am constantly thinking in a loop, like I was as a child except now I could do something about it but I cant with a f*cked leg.

In response to: Being misstreated

Re: Being misstreated

Dearest Lee,

If this is important for you : your probably best having your GP give you an idea of a good oil. I don't think I would get something like this without good advice because you will be wasting your money...... Maybe someone on the forums might give you some advice ...... I've started a thread on vibration machines ...... I wanna see about if anyone has one for me and my husband.

I have had very big periods in my life...... In 2003 I was 65 kand watched my weight go up to 97 kby 2010. Therapy and medication......... I'm now 68 k.

Just a tic we will talk about your mum: can you give specific times ? It's a horrible thing to call your mum if you are not right and it sounds like she wants you to have a good life but she is very upset

In response to: Being misstreated

Re: Being misstreated

It's not that important to me, biooil is the go but that is the least of my worries. My mother I don't think is trying to do the right thing and is upset because it isn't. I just think she thinks I am negative and she says this to me. Anything to keep her happy and in good standing with her other kids, and it has always been like this. She constantly tells me her other kids don't act like me and I am the only one saying this. But I can let it go but the damage is done.

In response to: Being misstreated

Re: Being misstreated

This is very difficult for you Lee .....
Can o give you some suggestions ? Is this okay ?
You are 34 years old..... I don't think I can remember a time where you have Ever acted up. Actually I think that you are one of the most caring 34 years olds I know

A lady called @chookmojo on the forums suggests to just write something on the sane forums and I'm wondering if you can say it to your Dad ....... He might be able to explain it to you ......
Could you tell your Dad if he could Clarify why your Mum says this. I don't want you to get put under any undue stress
This is not your fault.

This is not your fault
Some people ...including me ......... have to be taught how to act with MI

I get furious sometimes that my mother in law doesn't like me. Sometimes I yell at my husband.... But it's not his fault.... I need to very quickly remember this and apologise immediately because he was diagnosed with MI years ago ....... I don't want to stress him out

In response to: Re: Being misstreated

Re: Being misstreated

Hey anne.

ill get back tomorrow.

In response to: Re: Being misstreated

Re: Being misstreated

I think it can great to delay a response ... I often need time to let things burble through my mind and get clarity on what is right for me.

We are all unique and sometimes different strokes work for different folks. Eg I dont HAVE a budget ... I live within my budget . .. and that gets me by ... securely and soundly.

I bought bio oils etc years ago .. for my son's stretch marks ... but he ignores them and my oils ... so if its not serious .. you can use your own nous about it too. Now, I use them up on myself ... its a good product, so I dont waste it, or nag unecessarily.

I would be doing what you can for your leg ... research on line .. understand the medical terms used about it ... maybe physio can help ... or other physical therapies and exercises ... but make sure he/she is sensitive to you and your needs ... most of the physios I had for my neck were good ... but one was a bitch ... so ... just be careful.

If you cant stop the pain ... try and reduce the pain ... that was my mantra for 10 years ... "I want to reduce my pain" ... there are things that help and there are some bottom lines ... my neck/back situation has improved a lot, but I still have chronic pain ... find out what works in your particular case.

regards Apple

In response to: Being misstreated

Re: Being misstreated

@Troubled_One she forgot both nicknames Apple and Isabella
I

In response to: Being misstreated

Re: Being misstreated

Sorry who is Isabella?
I got back because its been a few days. I have changed my thinking from son thoughts I used to go by, because thinking to much in a pattern was making me panic. I am going to see my gp and get a health plan and see a psychologist to see if I can change some things, the problem the more I let go the crazier my thinking gets so catch 22 really I think I'm making progress but something always slips up.
A different psychologist as I am away from where I was.
Anyway goodnight ladies and gents

In response to: Re: Being misstreated

Re: Being misstreated

Like your writing @Troubled_One ladies and gents.................hahahahaha :0)

I meant that @Appleblossom has two nicknames...apple and Isabella I was being cheeky....

Take care Master Lee

In response to: Re: Being misstreated

Re: Being misstreated

Yes its almost time for me to be going to bed @Troubled_One.

I often obssess about a lot of things ... I figure if there are enough things then its not really an obssession cos my mind wonders around among the different things that concern me.

Sometimes I have to pull myself up ... and sometimes I have to let my stubborn mind run its course ... cos if I interrupt it ... it will go back to where it was anyway.

And so bit by bit my thoughts change and morph this way and that.

Hope you are doing ok Lee

How come I am the one that always gets the nicknames ... 4 eyes .. specs ... absent-minded professor ... Isabella is pretty ... and @PeppiPatty insists ...

311 - 320 of 336