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Something’s not right

Being misstreated

Being misstreated

This is my little rant in this forum.

I am going on 31 and have a brother about 1 year younger than me. Throughout my whole life in our family there was not much love and communication. My brother and I did get along but the majority of the time he and I would not get along and often my father and I would gang up on him and call him names and get our self esteem from this. To me as a child growing up I thought it was ok to do this and never understood what it would be like to be my brother.

My father and mother never communicated emotion and thier relationship was feuled with negative energy. This is where the trigger was I feel and where the dissharmony arose.

My mother only recently said to me that at one stage she said to my brother that my fathers opinion did not matter. To me this may have been the trigger which over time sent me off in the wrong direction. When she told me this it set off alarm bells in my head and that she never spoke to me but spoke to my brother. I think she said this was around when my brother was 14. At around 15 I started drinking and at age 17 started taking drugs. To me this seems all to coinside with each other too much to be a coincidence. When I have asked my mother why she never trusted me as a child and spoke to me she says I did until you started taking drugs. Then she says that I lost her trust but now I have it back.

My brother took drugs and drunk I know this but now I hear she said she told my brother my fathers opinion did not matter it makes me realise she put all her trust in to my brother and left me with my father. My father and I got along but our relationship is terrible, if you have read my other thread in the Our Experience and Stories forum http://saneforums.org/t5/Our-experience-stories/Living-with-depression-and-anxiety/m-p/17866#M2415my father is adopted and is very detached. I think my mother sees the side of him in me and rejects this and this is what has happened throughout my life. Neither my mother and father can seem to accept both thier childs.

Anyway that is my problem I find at the moment with my family. I find I do not get the respect and understanding I deserve.

I speak with my mother tomorrow 15/02/2015 for my birthday 16/02/2015, I will let you all know how I go.

Thanks for your support.

336 replies

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In response to: Being misstreated

Re: Being misstreated

Yes thank you for your concern.

I realised which I have not mentioned that my mother likes to stretch the truth over days and it can take this long to get a emotional answer out of her, and I believe it is because she is affraid to give in to my fathers feelings because this is something she has never done. I say this because I feel so bad now and is why I posted for help that this meeting probably should have happened on sunday but is arranged for tuesday. My brother and mother spoke and I told my brother it should be atleast on sunday but he and mum agreed on tuesday I know my time and knew this would be a long stretch to make it happen in regards to my feelings and emotion.

We will see tomorrow when we are together where everyone sits

In response to: Re: Being misstreated

Re: Being misstreated

@Troubled_One

Take care....we are here to listen to you get through the next 24 hours and after.
you have done nothing wrong or anything.

Are you going to call life line?
I just called them myself about what I'm going through.

In response to: Re: Being misstreated

Re: Being misstreated

Anne please take care. Here you are trying to support others and saying nil about whatever your own struggles are. Why don't you do an "Anne & Loopy blog" post and put us in the picture, please?

@Troubled_One have you heard we are having a virtual bonfire together to keep us safe through the night? We'd love you to join us , can you please bring something like marshmallows to toast? I think Anne's speciality is homemade scones

Kindest regards,

Kristin

In response to: Re: Being misstreated

Re: Being misstreated

Hi @kristin,

Thanks Ms Intuition. I'm fine, quite shaken up because got myself into a fix and too scared to call police. someone else did because there was someone fighting outside my home. living almost in the centre of a busy community brings problems like street fighting.

In response to: Re: Being misstreated

Re: Being misstreated

@Troubled_One,

how are you?

In response to: Re: Being misstreated

Re: Being misstreated

@kristinhahaha yes I could make some ginger bread men 😛 When is this virtual bonfire?

@PeppiPattyI hope you are ok. I want you to know that with out you I possibly would not have even thought about calling my brother and I think you came at the right time 🙂

I am fine, our family spoke today about trust and we were all there to talk about it. I feel a bit weird still like maybe there is something I am missing or something I have not yet caught a grasp on but I am hopeful for the future now to turn out better.

In response to: Re: Being misstreated

Re: Being misstreated

Hey @Troubled_One

Thanks so much for sharing your wonderful news with us. When family dynamics take a big step forward it can feel quite surreal can't it? That's a great first step as a family, and no doubt yuo'll all need to work on not allowing old and unhelpful ways of relating to slip back in. But you know it is possible to take a different approach and that is such a gift. Bravo to you because without your courage it doesn't sound like it would have happened!

It's also lovely of you to encourage Anne and to see how much she helped you to make this step. I hope she is travelling better today. @PeppiPatty how are you my friend?

Gingerbread sounds very yummy. Hmmm virtual bonfires happen whenever we feel the need. I would love us to be able to gather together around a real one!

Hope for more open and caring family dynamics endures...

Kindest regards,

Kristin

In response to: Re: Being misstreated

Re: Being misstreated

It's a good start for you and your family. I hope it gets better as time goes.

In response to: Re: Being misstreated

Re: Being misstreated

dear @Troubled_One,

I'm surprised at your parents maturity on something so sensitive but it makes sense............if I think about it..........Jeepers.......you listen to your Counsellor, your parents listen to you.
from bad Parenting to good parenting????

I was a bad parent for my oldest son. unknown to me, he was drinking at young teenage age, fell into illegal substance abuse at about 18 years old. But I made sure he had years of therapy.....this decision does not help everyone but it was the right decision for my son. .
He now is grappling with MI. I've become someone he can trust and he listens to me now. He still will not take medication but he has upped his work.. I trust the universe will help him. He lives on the opposite side of Australia but have been allowed to visit him every year for a week.

So back to you...."
I feel that you are pulling this off.......:0)

something you already had in your unconscious and you have 'cared,' for yourself, .....it was like.....not just me but everyone online brought you to that conclusion but thank you so much. :0)

the nightmare Im going through now is that my blooming ex boyfriend heard about it and he keeps on coming over to check to see if I'm okay Last year, . he fell into drugs when he got this high flying job but he's cleaned his act up ..He's so annoying....but he took Arlo for a walk today for an hour.....wish he brought over some chocolate"........

Love to all online, @kristn can you bring some dark chocolate for the marshmallows on the virtual fire??




In response to: Re: Being misstreated

Re: Being misstreated

Hey Anne,

This isn't the guy who killed your previous dog is he? I'm a bit concerned to be honest. If I've got it all wrong forgive me but it's my protective instincts going on alert! Anyway it doesn't sound like him visiting is helpful. You are allowed to tell him you don't want his company, you know?

Kind regards,

Kristin

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