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Something’s not right

Being misstreated

Being misstreated

This is my little rant in this forum.

I am going on 31 and have a brother about 1 year younger than me. Throughout my whole life in our family there was not much love and communication. My brother and I did get along but the majority of the time he and I would not get along and often my father and I would gang up on him and call him names and get our self esteem from this. To me as a child growing up I thought it was ok to do this and never understood what it would be like to be my brother.

My father and mother never communicated emotion and thier relationship was feuled with negative energy. This is where the trigger was I feel and where the dissharmony arose.

My mother only recently said to me that at one stage she said to my brother that my fathers opinion did not matter. To me this may have been the trigger which over time sent me off in the wrong direction. When she told me this it set off alarm bells in my head and that she never spoke to me but spoke to my brother. I think she said this was around when my brother was 14. At around 15 I started drinking and at age 17 started taking drugs. To me this seems all to coinside with each other too much to be a coincidence. When I have asked my mother why she never trusted me as a child and spoke to me she says I did until you started taking drugs. Then she says that I lost her trust but now I have it back.

My brother took drugs and drunk I know this but now I hear she said she told my brother my fathers opinion did not matter it makes me realise she put all her trust in to my brother and left me with my father. My father and I got along but our relationship is terrible, if you have read my other thread in the Our Experience and Stories forum http://saneforums.org/t5/Our-experience-stories/Living-with-depression-and-anxiety/m-p/17866#M2415my father is adopted and is very detached. I think my mother sees the side of him in me and rejects this and this is what has happened throughout my life. Neither my mother and father can seem to accept both thier childs.

Anyway that is my problem I find at the moment with my family. I find I do not get the respect and understanding I deserve.

I speak with my mother tomorrow 15/02/2015 for my birthday 16/02/2015, I will let you all know how I go.

Thanks for your support.

336 replies

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In response to: Being misstreated

Re: Being misstreated

Dear Lee,

You have been helping me lots.....i got a restraining order, something thats taken me a very long time......and had lots of police over......i didnt want to go through police but was the best way and all through it,

You sent me kind messagees

Wrote hello to me

Helped other people

Wow. Thats doing a lot of good.

The joke..ille scratch your back......is really funny.

I wish my youngest brother and i had the brains you have, to reach out for help.

Speak soon, im suppossed to be doing something else ! Oops

In response to: Re: Being misstreated

Re: Being misstreated

hey Anne,

yes sometimes is unhealthy the way i think. but i am learning to control it.

Thanks.

Lee.

In response to: Re: Being misstreated

Re: Being misstreated

Hi @Troubled_One

Sorry it's taken me a couple of days to respond.

I can't help but notice that you didn't answer part of my question -

'... I'd be interested to know what else you do with yourself - your interests etc...'

You have been a part of the community for a while now, but we don't know much about you. It would be great to learn more!

Nik

In response to: Re: Being misstreated

Re: Being misstreated

@NikNik I did reply to your msg, i said i can not really talk about myself if i can not really express myself.

This is the problem i have been having this whole time I have not expressed myself to my family or on here properly. I can not seem to get through I have trouble understanding things because of my leg it is badly damaged, I am not so quick on my feet. But i can still understand things its just I do not know why but for some reason I can not seem to get things to work. I only just recently disscovered this with my father that because my leg does not work with my head (because of the pain) i lose that part of the anatomy.

I only just disscovered this with my father, that the reason perhaps why he never listens is because i do not understand some things so well and forget that part out of what is going on.

I am hoping to talk this over with my brother and say to him that this is why perhaps things have not worked out so well.

To answer your question i can do more on here and express myself better, but i have troubles, hence the name troubled_one and would really like to wait until i talk to my brother before that is resolved.

Thanks.

lee.

In response to: Re: Being misstreated

Re: Being misstreated

Hi Lee,

My apologies - I didn't know that message was related to my question of what your interests and hobbies are.

I think you express yourself well; more than you give yourself credit for.

Nik

In response to: Re: Being misstreated

Re: Being misstreated

Thanks @NikNik yeah i actually had a bit of trouble with that message but yeah i wrote i can not express myself that well. Thanks for understanding.

Lee.

In response to: Re: Being misstreated

Re: Being misstreated

Dear Lee,

Actually you have helped me a Lot

Content/trigger warning
🐐🐇🐰

In response to: Re: Being misstreated

Re: Being misstreated

@Troubled_One

Hope you are doing ok. I felt for you because I keep trying to reach out to brothers.too.

Is he responding?

Also, re "other things' .. Do you like to watch the tennis? Do you like gaming?

It seems the best way to connect is on common interests or even having a friendly argybargy .. like I hate "Collingwood" etc.

In response to: Re: Being misstreated

Re: Being misstreated

Hey @Appleblossom, yeah no my brother is not responding. He said he would call when he gets a second, so I have no idea when he will get in touch with me. I am just trying to hang on and see what happens.

Funny you should mention him though, I saw his old best friend today who said he would contact him.

And, as a family in the last few days I have been thinking what it would be like to do things as a family with this now communication which is happening, what would happen? lol.

Thanks for reaching out, I think it was time due for a sane forums post!

What is the matter with your brothers? Sometimes is hard to get things working your way when it has not been for so long.

For me I like music, and working on a website.

In response to: Re: Being misstreated

Re: Being misstreated

Funny how we are all connected. Maybe little nods from one person to the next set a positive domino effect going for you guys.

My brothers: one I was split from since he was 6 months. I am his closest relative now, (apart from his children) but he has cancer and lives interstate and overseas. we have seen each other approximately once a year over last 20 years so that is almost normal I guess. The other I was very close to, made mum jealous, but we were split for about 5 years when he was 4-9. He died 20 years ago, now. I didnt realise it has been that long.

Your brother is an idiot if he doesnt get his act together to contact.

Web design. I am trying to get over computer allergy, being old fart etc.

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