Today, I had to make a hard decision.

I hear you @Anonymouse1000, middy will be beyond excited for your return home when it’s time. 🐶

Wishing you all the best in your recovery journey my friend 🙏, thanks for the tag 😊

Thank you for sharing this with us @Anonymouse1000.

Uncomfortable and over-stimulating makes a lot of sense. It sounds like you're really challenging yourself, and I know that whilst it may feel like a lot right now, this experience will also provide the space and opportunity for you to build strength through vulnerability. Allowing yourself to be open is brave and it only gets easier. 💛 Challenging, yet cathartic is a perfect way to express this experience.

Healthy beliefs are hard to cultivate, but much like the ones that have kept us stuck, they are strengthened over time. So I have no doubt your growing awareness around these patterns will allow you to nurture your more loving and compassionate beliefs.

Would you feel comfortable sharing any that may have come up for you so far? 🥰

Hi @AuntGlow @Chasingsunsets

I have been discharged from the MH Ward now. I have been home for 4 days or so now. 20 days in the ward.

There are some things which i learned, which is 1. People can survive extraordinary circumstances, sometimes it leaves them needing help and support. They should be given every effort to allow them to heal, sometimes we have to brave the grey uncertainty when it gets all too hard. 1 minute, 1 hour, 1 day at a time.

Don't be afraid to ask for help, even if it comes at the cost of a bit of time.

I still believe that I achieved a lot, even if there there were some dramatic shifts in medication. Protocols, the routine of the ward is seductive though and I can see why you might get used to staying.

A nurse said to me one night when I was at my lowest "trust the plan that the doctors have for you" it was the right...she didn’t know how much that meant to me though. I should have told her.

Thank you so much for this update @Anonymouse1000 💛

It sounds like you were able to take some really key lessons away from this experience: that time, space, and support to heal is allowed. That's really beautiful.

I can hear how much the structure and routine helped you - how have things felt since you have been home? Have you been able to explore the plan that was given to you?

Also, how does it feel to be with your family? 🥰

Hi @AuntGlow,

It has been a pretty hard slog back to working full time.

I noticed quite rapidly that the MH was an incredibly powerful space, in that I noticed almost immediately how much additional stimulus everyday life has. I was really grateful to the hospital for being able to make those changes for me and I feel much better for it. I still get fatigued easily but I just finished a full 5 day work week.

I have found that ordinary situations will cause me to have panic attacks, but breathing through it and applying some diversion tactics have kept me afloat long enough to use a prn.

Today we went to an extremely noisy and stimulating environment for lunch and even though it was uncomfortable I still managed all the way through it. I still am having difficulty concentrating and in my general energy levels, but its all in good time.

Thank you for checking in on me, I really appreciate it!

Hello @Anonymouse1000,

I can imagine that being back at work would be tough. What are you finding most challenging?

And conversely, what are you noticing feels easier?

Oh gosh yes, we take in so much information and we are expected to keep up with so much too - it truly is exhausting. Have you found moments where you have been able to slow down?

I read your post about fatigue just now. I often feel the same, it can be really tough, especially if we aren't able to get proper sleep. Have you been able to talk with your GP/psychologist about this at all?

It sounds like your nervous system is craving slow, still, and quiet to regulate, which makes so much sense. Being out in the world is a lot to manage and it would be jarring after slowing down and having consistent support.

I wonder what you need most in those moments? 💛