The Psychology Of People Who Are Tired Of Existing Right Now

Thanks for sharing this link @Jacques

I understand it fully.

I have realised that I am in an existential crisis for a while but it has been getting worse, especially this last year.

The video explains it so well, I haven’t heard it explained so accurately before.

I have worn a mask for most of my life, I’ve only recently really realised how exhausting that has been, because I’ve always just pushed through.

People would think I was high functioning, because I do things but as the video says, you can’t easily explain it and when you mention it, people want to fix it by getting you to do something. It’s what I have done - I do things - it looks great, but I don’t feel anything.

I feel I am just existing but I don’t know why.
Thank you for showing that I am not the only one.

I hope, knowing you are not the only one is of some help to you.

Have you been able to speak to someone about how you feel?

@Till23 I hear you. I’ve worn a mask most of my life, starting back in primary school.

people see me laughing and smiling.
on the inside it’s the total opposite.

I haven’t watched the video.

maybe other time.

Atm emotions already very close to the edge

Hi @Jacques I agree the You Tuber did a great job of explaining it.

Do you feel you are self isolating to save energy or because trying to explain yourself to others is too difficult/exhausting?

Do you sleep a lot or just rest?

I do not sleep much really, I have early morning wakening and I can be wide awake for hours and then I’ll be sleepy at the time I would be getting up. I retired last year so I sometimes don’t need to get up as I have nothing on. It’s hard to motivate myself to get up on those days.

I have been very tired today which I think has a bit to do with the hot weather.

I self isolated partly because of anxiety, partly because i can't afford to have friends.

i used to sleep a lot to make the time past faster, now i just sleep from exhaustion. even though i don't sleep well. i wake up multiple times thought the night.

I know what you mean re motivation. i find it hard too

@Till23 Thank you for mentioning this video/thread to me. Yep, 100% relate to it. Thank you @Jacques for sharing this. I'm sorry you feel this also. I am tired of feeling this way too. The part of the video I recall thinking wasn't my experience was when it said about sometimes it not being there and other times returning -- so far my experience has been constant.

I related a lot to the concept of how it relates to anhedonia. That is what I have identified over the past 6-12 months as being the most problematic aspect of my depression, and hence starting the thread to discuss Recovering from severe chronic anhedonia . I suspect a number of others there may also relate to this video too?

I feel that I would like to share this video with people in my life, to say "This! This is what it feels like!" to help them understand. Just as I cannot understand/imagine what a life without weariness, apathy for life, and anhedonia would be like - they too cannot imagine what having no sense of meaning/point to life is like and how tiring that makes everything.

The line about needing to rest until being able to feel the want to continue hit me. It is exactly what I have been saying I need - I need to no longer just exist because other people want me to exist, I need to want to exist myself. And that is what needs to change for me.

I'm not sure yet if/how/when that will happen for me.

I feel that it is not widely deemed "acceptable" to need to rest for a long time to recover. Our medical system does not support us in this. All our treatment supports are about behavioural-activation and keeping doing things, not resting. I had this discussion with someone in my local area public MH team a few days ago - that a structured residential program was not what would be helpful for me. They understood it sort of, but there is nothing they can provide.

I relate @Jacques to the sleeping to make time pass faster. I feel that way sometimes too. Although I also have to rest a lot due to fatigue. But when I am not fatigued much at all for a longer time, then I feel like I just want to pass the time away.

I feel I am in "limbo" until I can either feel a want to live or else till I die.

@Jacques I was wondering what you meant by you cannot afford friends.

Do you mean financially or is it more an emotional thing?

I agree @AlwaysMyself, although I had kind of thought it myself that the anhedonia is an issue in this kind of existential crisis. I kind of don’t like the word crisis because it sounds too acute, whereas for me also this existing problem has been longer term. I have not always had it however and it’s only really been impactful in last few years. Previously I had distracted myself with work and I thought I had a purpose. Now I question whether I ever really had a purpose. I can see how others have a purpose and so much has been gained in the world in so many fields our understanding has increased thanks to people working on things. I don’t know if I am conflating two different things but for me, the meaning of life or purpose plays into the existing problem.
I agree that you need to have your own reasons or “want” to exist, using other people’s “want” no longer works for me, probably because I’m not sure if people do want me to exist.

I myself, find it difficult to rest, I have a real guilt about it, although my level of achievement is much less than before and I know that is due to overthinking and this ridiculous fatigue, I still find it difficult to rest. I know the general advice is to keep doing things or try new things etc. I am trying to read a book this week as kind of a resting thing.

Sounds like you’ve been through some hard times @Jacques

You seem to have had some terrible financial times. I’m glad you can access the DSP now. Even though it’s very little, at least it’s more than nothing. I can’t imagine how you survived on no income at all.

Sometimes it is very difficult to explain how we feel or maybe to have the energy to do that.