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Grief after suicide

Ruth12Casual Contributor03 Jan 2026, 3:52 am AEDT

Grief after suicide

Hi, my life as it is now, is nearing 12 months since my husband of 42 years took his own life. We were soul mates, close friends, worked together on the land, basically I died with him. Life hasn’t been easy, many small moments to grieve, but goodness and happiness woven in. But this…
My grandson is a sweet sensitive boy and to protect him our closest family decided not to share the true circumstances of his grandads death. So for me, navigating all the emotions that I am experiencing has been lonely. There are only 3 family members that know(along with their spouses) and even though we talk I feel I am adding to their burden, especially if they see that I am not coping. I also feel that to the larger family and community of friends my grief is awkward as I find it hard to talk, to remember fondly. I am having trouble processing his suicide… rather than a natural death or accident. I am hoping sharing here will give me some relief.

5 replies

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In response to: Grief after suicide

DahliaDreamsSenior Contributor03 Jan 2026, 7:17 am AEDT

Re: Grief after suicide

@Ruth12

please do share your grief here as you feel able to. This is a very supportive community, as I have found out over the past few weeks. I am sorry to hear that you lost your soul mate.

I went through grief when my Mum died, it was a long time ago now. At the time I felt like I had no-one I could talk to, because my relatives just shut down any conversations and changed the topic or didn't have the time to talk. It was very lonely. I think it's natural to want to talk about a loved one who has passed, but other people must feel so uncomfortable that they can't do that. Not even my siblings - the very people who you think would share the same or similar grief as me.

It was hard processing everything by myself. It took a very long time.

Would you consider going to bereavement counselling as I think there are some free resources out there?

In response to: Re: Grief after suicide

Ruth12Casual Contributor03 Jan 2026, 10:52 am AEDT

Re: Grief after suicide

Thank you Dahlia, I am hoping this forum will help. I had grief counsellors soon after the event, but I found they wanted me to talk, but I couldn’t, would break down, I assured them I wasn’t suicidal myself, but didn’t care if I lived.. if that makes sense? I hoped connecting with people here, who have experiences similar to mine, would help me.

In response to: Re: Grief after suicide

Cappuccino_75Moderator03 Jan 2026, 1:01 pm AEDT

Re: Grief after suicide

Hi @Ruth12

Really sorry to hear about your loss 😔That must be so hard to be going through 😟

Talking through grief can be really helpful, but it is something that you have to take at your pace..... Do you feel that you might be at a point where you are wanting to get ongoing support around your grief yet, if it has been some time since you tried last time.

It's also so amazing that you did try to get that support soon after, that also takes so much strength!

Hopefully you find some solid support on these forums here.

Welcome again to the platform 😊💖

In response to: Grief after suicide

Lapis_AnteaterPeer Guide03 Jan 2026, 2:19 pm AEDT

Re: Grief after suicide

Hi @Ruth12

I am so sorry for your loss. If you don’t mind sharing, what was your husband like? I would love to hear about him and keep his memory alive. It’s tough navigating grief. It’s totally understandable to avoid sharing because you feel like you are going to burden people. But there are people out there (be it a professional, or a family member or a friend) that are willing and want to share that burden with you. You are not alone. This forum is here for you. I hope you find some relief sharing with us.

In response to: Re: Grief after suicide

Ruth12Casual Contributor05 Jan 2026, 8:08 am AEDT

Re: Grief after suicide

Thank you Lapis,

my husband was a big man, and some people felt threatened by him, but he was a gentle soul, with a wonderful smile. We met as teenagers, married in our early twenties. We didn’t need anyone else. But he nurtured everyone, was a fantastic trainer within his industry. Loved living and working on the land, graziers and foresters.
I am really struggling remembering fondly, because he threw all that away. Burdened my children and theirs.

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