The me no one knows - SI warning

There are so facets to a human being, sometimes I think we forget about the non MH components @AlwaysMyself

knowledge and skills learnt over years. hobbies and other things people have done in the past and no longer do.

a comment by Captain on her post recently had me realise this.

2 aspects of me that almost no one knows

- knowledge and skills (no longer have the strength) to built a wood frame house from stumps to one step away from completion, having the roof laid

- guide leader working with large group primary school at start at the week and small group of teenagers later in the week, every week during school terms

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@Flutterbug9 wrote:

Hi @AuntGlow Info on emergency services website for my state by approx 9pm showed no warnings or anything. Fire was downgraded few hrs prior to that.

experience triggered nightmares and flashbacks on scary experience I went through few mths before my 6th birthday, involved fire that caused huge devastation to large area. Drive to childhood town would usually taken approx 1hr maximum, took many hours of driving and my parents concerned we weren’t going to get home.

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I am glad the fire was downgraded and that you are safe. @Flutterbug9

I can't even begin to imagine how scary these experiences must be, especially when you have had such a significant traumatic experience around fires when you were young.

What has helped you to soothe yourself these triggers this week? 💛

That is most of your spine @Flutterbug9 😢😥🤗 - big ouch! Bulging discs and braked discs in the mix too 😬. I really hope for the day there may be a mechanical/electric spine replacement treatment.

Did/is the pain getting worse as you age, or has it always been as severe as it is now days?

(Mine has worsened compared to when i was a teen or younger adult; i dont look forward to the progression as i age further.)

I really struggle to look after my physical/muscle health when i am not mentally coping. Losing weight to reduce pressure on my knees, doing regular exercise/strengthening... it all feels too much effort to do alone. I know that aqua-exercise reduced my lower back pain and increased my core and knee muscle strength, without aggravating my knees. But it was also physically tiring. And cooking is physically tiring too. It just gets/feels too much without someone literally doing it with me. I used to go an aqua class in the morning, then come home and then 1 hr later have to take a 1hr nap because i was too sleepy from the exercising.

Yep, we are all people with many facets to our lives and being.

Very interesting to learn you know how to make a house frame!! That is so cool! 😁 i bet (and hope lol) your right-angles were a LOT more square than mine were in my high school project 🤣🤣.

Woodwork hurts my wrists (go-karting injury from wheel) but ive always liked "making things" so its something i enjoy socially and its so handy. Last year i did a womens workshop making a basic bench seat, just as a social outlet. It was good but my wrists and back really hurt with the 2hr sessions.

I would have liked to do guides/scouts as a child, but i was never offered. I didnt know about them until i was in high school and a friend of mine was doing girl guides. Thats very lovely of you to have been a leader for it, and twice a week even! 😊 did you have a favourite activity?

I am often happy-jealous when i hear of what people get to do 😋.

It is hard when we can no longer do these things we used to do - whether due to physical or psychological reasons. 😢

I feel this a lot when i plan/do holidays; so many things I'd love to go see but they are only accessible by hiking or lots of stairs/hill. 😢 or even my ability to sit on an airplane for more than 7 hours (or for 2 consecutive longhaul flights) really makes me think twice about travelling - i am learning to decide to do stop-overs between flights, but there are often still 10-14 hour flights.

I havent been able to go-kart since hurting my wrists as a young teen. My first job was at a bakery, and carrying the bread trays would hurt and inflame them too.

I think it is healthy to mourn and grieve those losses, though. Respect their place in our life and celebrate them as a pasttime. Perhaps in the future there is a way to reengage in them in a modified way, but sometimes there isnt either.

Will reply to you another day @AlwaysMyself

Morning @AlwaysMyself hoping today is kind today

at different times it’s like I get hit by wave of depression. Feelings of extreme sadness, self loathing and I auto go into shut down mode. Comes on as quick as flick a light switch. Happened late yesterday when I said was feeling in low mood.

my pain has increased over the years. I have OA in lot of my joints. As my pain management Dr says, normal wear in joints happens as well age which increases the pain and inflammation from OA.

thanks for sharing about impact of CF has on you. Really appreciate it and helps me with getting to you more.

I was told hydrotherapy can be good for working on core muscles. Not something I can do. 1) I have fear of drowning (thanks to my mother). 2) can’t risk being near chlorinated water (I was treated for mild case of chlorine poisoning once and that was once too many)

I don’t have the strength in my arms, hands or wrists to do a lot of physical things now a days. Funny, silly memories of mid to late primary school doing lots of the nailing of trims, door frames etc without hitting my fingers. Countless times my dad would be yelling in pain from hitting finger or thumb. 😆. Grade 6 & form 1 when I wasn’t at school and dad was home (he worked rotating shifts), my dad and I (plus 2 neighbours) fully built my childhood home, house that is wood frame and floors, wood cladding inside and out.

In my late 30’s/early 40’s (somewhere around that time) I started renovating/finishing the house. Taught myself about laying boards and water proof lining on concrete floors. Angles with skirting boards were ok. No matter how much I tried bracing the wood into mitre box, window architraves didn’t line up.

my only long distance flights I’ve was to and from England (I’ve flown to and from NZ few times, don’t count them). Not long before my tour of England finished there was bombings and concerns of how to return to Australia. Thoughts of doing much travelling now = panic attacks.

due to “she’s a girl” view of parent/s when I wasn’t growing up I wasn’t allowed to do lots of things. My dad did try to teach me to ride a bike, I don’t have full natural balance which means couldn’t get my balance. Never allowed to go fishing as “that’s not for girls”. Did learn to ride a horse.

with guides I bought in Time Out for bad behaviour, previous leader used to yell which saw complaints being lodged and eventually me asked to take on both groups, I was already working with the teenager group. With mid to late primary school age there was myself and few other ladies.

Favourite activity the kids did - one lady teaching the kids how to sew by hand. One girl approx 9 yo very proud she had sewn her own badge on and showed her mum how to sew. Teenage girls doing community service by going to nursing home and spending time with elderly people. Girls volunteering to go after the first time. Also making and taking small gift to each person for Easter, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and Christmas.

one funny thing (my humour). Years later one of the teenagers became my boss where I was working. She still remembered things the group had done and still had her uniform.

I was in my early 20’s when I started getting joint pain in my fingers and wrists. My first paid job involved separating semi perforated thin cardboard, very repetitive. Other main part of the job involved typing on old manual typewriter. Diagnosed with repetitive strain injuries within first few years. A job that no longer exists, thank goodness

I enjoy hearing about what other people have done, learnt etc over the years. At times I feel bit jealous, think that’s just part of being human.

22 predicted here today with strong winds and cloudy. My phone says it’s already 19 outside. Breakfast, meds (plus sinus meds today, feeling bit sore) prior to moving few things. Want/need to cut up the cantaloupe and honeydew that are sitting in my fridge.

at this stage, my plans for the weekend involve 2 days on the couch, giving my time to the cats. Might measure and mark some mdf.

whats on for your weekend? Any outings planned? I’m looking forward to seeing your though etc on last couple of posts from Jynx on Captains thread

@Flutterbug9 I am glad you were able to take time for yourself when you felt that crashing and crushing wave of depression. Can I send you some bulk-hugs in advance to store up for the future when that happens and you need a spare one from the virtual-closet offline? 😉 (My quirky brains idea - but the sentiment being that I care and wish I could also help support you through those times also if there was a way to sit with you even when you're not up to being online or I'm not online).

Drowning would be so scary 😬. Totally understand the fear of drowning and of pools/swimming given that. Is the chlorine poisoning related to that incident?

I actually don't like pools - the wetness and the clingy-clothes (even though I wear board shorts over and also have a tank-top swim-top now too). I have a skin allergy to chlorine, or did as a teen - but my body is less reactive to it now days for some reason (a good thing!); I used to even get a reaction to it from the showers in Sydney when they increased the chlorine levels temporarily, or when I visited Dubbo - that was so much chlorine in their water!

I found it very interesting to read how you dad taught you through building the family home. I didn't realise they were doing all the building themselves after buying it. Makes a lot of sense now why it took so long to complete. I had a friend in high school who's dad was a builder, and their own home was always mid-repairs! 😂 For over a year their front entrance was "in progress". I learned from her that it is not uncommon for a builder's house to always be in a state of "in progress" lol -- too busy/tiring working on paid jobs, but also don't want to pay someone else to do their own when they know how to do it themselves lol. I can relate to that too in not wanting to pay for things I can do myself, "if only I had time/energy".

I've only used a mitre box once - in high school, making a frame for a mirror. That was OK for me. However the dovetail joints? Hahaha nope they were anything except square lol. but they still fitted (as a drawer) because they angled inwards not outwards lol. 😂

Terrorism is a real concern now for travelling, sadly. 😓. I was in Indonesia during the second Bali incident in 2005. Luckily we had decided to go to Jakarta & Sumatra to visit family friends, rather than Bali which was our other consideration. I recall my dad saying that had we chosen to go to Bali, we would have most likely stayed in a hotel right down the road from it. I cannot imagine how scary that would have been to be there during it, or for you in England with the active threat status. At least for me it was "happened" by the time we heard about it; I recall we were eating the best peanut skewers at a restaurant in Jakarta with family friends, and the following day we were flying out to Sumatra - I remember my mum messaging us saying that the Aus Gov was advising people to not travel to tourist cities in Indonesia as we were boarding the plane lol. My dad decided Sumatra was very-low-risk and so we still went on with our holiday.

Oh, horse riding 😍. I have been on horses 3.5 times. Why "half"? My older cousin lifted me onto one of her family's horses (which did not know me, I did not know how to ride at all, and unknown to me this horse had just recovered from a foot issue!), and it bucked immediately and i came right back off again. .. I don't think it even had a saddle? 🤔

I don't remember anything much from the first time - it was a school friend's property when I was quite young (under 10). The latter 2 times though were good - they were riding tours 😊 with horses used to people who didn't know how to ride.

... my inner thigh muscles of course didn't like the horse riding though, but that is to be expected ! 🤣

So nice to see people learning new skills, and even more so when they are practical skills and they can also teach their family (or friends) also. 😍

I love that you did social outreach to the local nursing homes, and that the teens volunteered to do more of it. 😍. What a great role model you were for them! And gifts too! I bet your group was a really big impact to them 🤗; not feeling "forgotten", alleviating some of the loneliness, and bringing some smiles to faces.

Oh wow, that would be so weird to have one of your Girl Guides later become your boss 😋. But also good I hope because you had a positive relationship and trust in each other? I hope they treated you well. 😊

Yum, melons. 😊 Watermelon is my favourite, then honeydew and then rockmelon. But melons are one of my favourite fruit groups, so rockmelons are not by any means disliked at all. 😍 I have to cut them up shortly after I buy them, or else I will never get around to eating them lol. But if I cut them up into containers, then I eat them very quickly lol.

Cat time sounds purrfect. 😻. I think they will strongly support this plan.

My plans for the weekend? My dogs will soon be being picked up by my ex (yay!), and surprisingly, I have nothing planned for tomorrow. There is plenty I should or could do - housework and recreation/craft. (Sometimes craft feels like a chore when I do it myself, so I have not yet started making a mould with the silicone. I plan to wait until 2 of my friends are available to co-craft). I should do my laundry tomorrow. Maybe I can set a goal for laundry + last box in my study to unpack/sort. And if I'm super-motivated, set up the shelves in the study closet too. Sunday I have a coffee with a friend booked -- we wanted to go to a specific cafe last time, but when we arrived they were booked out! 😮 So we made a booking for this weekend there 😂, and went to a different cafe last time. We want to try their Japanese pancakes lol.

I have a number of thoughts re: the GD/NB discussion. I will make a note to respond to that part of the thread with more on my self-reflections for you. 😊 (Will do a general update on my thread beforehand though, or I won't get around to it lol).

Catching up with a friend and going out together sounds nice way to enjoy part of the weekend. The dreaded, never ending housework. 😂

from things my mum told me, she turned her back on me when I was in baby bath. When she turned back I was face down in the water. First time anyone realised the impact was when my eldest cousin had to carry me to shore after he and I had been in a small boat on the local bay. I was about 3 or 4, he was about 13. Apparently I went white and started to shake. Went stiff in his arms and wrapped my arms around his neck.

group of guide leaders organised get together for the kids at swimming pool in different town than I was living in. One of the other women decided to make neck to knee costumes for my group, material used was far from good quality. Kids were having races and the material was becoming heavy and slowing them down. Years before I’d had minor reaction due to chlorine that was added to town water but it was only minor.

the girls were pulling the poor quality material off. I rung as much water out as possible, water mainly running over one hand. Following morning hand which water had run over was bright red, badly swollen and sore due to the pressure in my hand. Triaged as urgent at emergency. Cold packs applied whilst I was given oral meds and injections.

apparently front couple of rooms my parents paid to have built. Both rooms were out of plump. Rest of house was built in stages by my dad (postal worker), one neighbour (fitter and turner) and one uncle (boiler operator at local hospital). Lot of knowledge was self taught.

my first time on a horse (semi doesn’t count) was as a preschooler. Was one of small group of ponies at a kids play ground area, my mum walked beside me worried I was going to fall off.

basically, I have no fear of almost any animal. I’ve been bitten by numerous dogs, almost kicked by a foal, been bitten by a foal.

used to buy face washers in different colours. The girls would fold them into different shapes and add something small. Eg rabbit was small egg at Easter. Seniors found it hard to comprehend at the start that teenagers they didn’t know came to see them and talk with them.

shared care of the dogs. 🤣🤣. Interesting arrangement. Good if works for everyone. You on speaking terms with your ex?

No rush about the GD/NB, whenever works for you. As I’ve said, I’ve got a curious nature, like to learn things about others, their life experiences and perspectives. 😊

as I was expecting, no sign of my neighbour. I will finish marking the mdf in the morning prior to putting them on a cart I have and walking them to the workshop and get them cut. I know if I don’t get them done soon I will loose interest which ultimately leads to downward spirals.

need to print and scan couple items (including the quote) prior to attaching them to email requesting permission from head office for approval to get zipstream external blinds installed. One huge thing, I had been advised I needed to pay for steel beam to be installed first. Person who was here from the blind company said steel beam is not required due to the design of this type of roller blinds. Huge savings!!

Hi @tyme hoping you had great time n your holiday

Impact of infusion in start of December seems to be going well. I had a couple rough, painful days recently. I suspect was mix of few things, one having been doing too much and moving few things that are bit heavier than I should be moving. Biggest obvious impact is I’m no longer stooping forward from waistline as, most days, no longer in pain

obtained quote today for supply and installation of 2 motorised alfresco blinds. Due to blinds being an item that wasn’t on the architect plans I have to submit request for alteration to the unit to head office of firm that owns where I live and wait in hope they will give their approval. If gets approved I’ve got some electrical job to be done prior to the blinds being able to be installed. Next infusion booked for late May. Hoping to have blinds installed before then.

starting to feel bit suss about new psychiatrist. Phone number on their website always goes to answering machine advising to send email. Thursday mid December I sent an email, I received reply with information the following day. Referral submitted by my GP few days later on the Monday. Website says upon receipt of referral outbound call will be made to book appointment. Yesterday I sent email as phone went to answering machine. No reply as of tonight. First time in approx 15 mths, possibly longer, that appeared I might get to see psychiatrist for much needed meds review and support.

things are progressing slowly with my Lego, brick bears etc. been few months now though since I last had any interest in working on them. Got into sort/declutter etc mood couple weeks ago, hoping it continues as still have things to get done.

some days not good. Was thankful for one experienced nurse and student one day in hospital last month. Nurse wasn’t happy with my obs, noticed one of my arms including [Moderator edit] and asked about SH. dressing applied whilst all 3 of us talked.

Hey @Flutterbug9

Sounds like there's a lot happening right now where you've had some improvements with the [edited] infusion, but also had some rough and painful days likely due to doing too much - that's no good 🥀. I can also hear you've been trying to reach out for support and have been in the mood for tasks like de-cluttering which is helping to get things done - that sounds like a real positive⭐. And even though some days have not been good - you've been thankful for the support of an experienced nurse and student on a recent hospital stay, who supported you with sh injuries. Having support is important hey! Just letting you know I've made a slight edit to your post to fit with the guidelines - let me know if you have any questions about this 🌺

TunedIn 🌿

Hi @TunedIn no probs about the edit of wording with my summary update to Tyme following her recent return from holidays

can you please edit your post and remove the word ‘iron’.

It wasn’t an iron infusion I had. @tyme is aware of the exact type of infusion through email confusions that have been had. Infusion I had in December was medical assistance for chronic pain

Thread with more information

@moderator