General chit chat

awww @Bubbles3 that doesn't sound good at all. You need to make sure you eat hun, espeically with the different sort of meds that we all have. Not that I can talk, havent eaten since yesterday becasue of nausea.

Make sure you have something to eat tonight hun

Glad to hear that @Bubbles3 make sure you eat then!!

Good Morning Mazy

Thank you for you beautiful message 🙂 I hope your a day better than you were yesterday

It's a relief to read that I did not cause you harm. I believe that at times, words can be worse than sticks and stones, the breaks they make are far deeper. Perhaps I am a little depressed, I think I feel better than I have recently, but I think I have an underlying depression at all times. My greatest fear is that I can't help my child, their children or the generations of children to come. I do my best to accept that, my choice not to use mains power or refrigeration is my feeble attempt to help. As is my wish to die naturally, I believe I have a better chance to do that, if I don't know the name of what's wrong. Does that make sense? I do not mean for it to be a depressing thing, quite the opposite - I want to give future generations hope . . . that there will be something left for them. I would like to think in doing so I'm giving them more time to learn, to explore other Planets, . . . to live. I don't believe there is any Human intervention that can stop the destruction we've started, I think only a natural catastrophic event can slow that down now. Science-fiction stories are my favourites; I like to think of an inter-planetary Human race 🙂 Imagine if they could take mining, for example, off the Planet Earth, it would still be destructive to the Planet being mined - but it may be more acceptable to do so on a Planet that does not sustain life. Can you imagine entire Planets that are designated 'Forests' 😄 My walks would be unimaginably wonderful 😄 and if we had enough of these Planets we could harvest only the tiniest amounts of them, giving those Worlds the ability to repair the damage of our needs. Our needs are destructive, in that I think all life forms are the same. We all consume. Generation after generation have been given the promise that there lives will be better for the knowledge we have gained. But what is the use of knowledge if we insist on ignoring it? I don't believe there is any way to store energy in an environmentally friendly manner, Solar or wind power for example, may seem better - but the materials and processes involved . . . are not - though I believe they are far better than disturbing the nuclei of atoms. We may think it's better that our lives last longer, that less Mothers and babies die during birth, that disease and injury is far greater overcome - but perhaps the reality is different. I believe that progression and evolution go hand in hand, but if we are to survive, we need more area to expand in.

I managed to do the dishes yesterday, and I got the clothes off the line 🙂 I get what your saying about illness being a good reason to do nothing - I guess I've been using my aches for that 😉 I think that's why I need to see neuro-biological disorders as physical things, it gives me a reason why I do nothing for long periods of time; it's not a fun way to be . . . it's boring - mind numbingly so. I think it's a good thing that you feel better being sick . . . that's a very confusing comment - but any joy is joy 🙂 I don't think I'm being harsher than usual to my self, the easiest person to judge is the self, the one you cannot escape, no matter how far you run. The only person you know the truth about. I'm not big on forgiveness, I don't think it may be as good as it's portrayed to be; in fact I think it may allow certain negatives to continue. I have done bad, bad has been done to me, that cannot be changed. But I can do good now and I can avoid bad to the best of my ability today 🙂 I have learnt, I am learning, I will continue to learn.

Thank you for the knowledge that you are here for me, whether I am up or down, standing still or spinning around. The opposite of harm I see as healing, I hope we are healing each other

Love you my friend @Mazarita

Niqua, you have such an interesting way at looking at the world. Im actually glad your shring this with us you know, it might seem scary to others but I know your safe so you expressing yourself as you are now isnt scaring me. Ive seen the 2 differences in your posts before and this isnt sending alarm bells off but rather just expressing yourself and the way you view yourself.

Im glad you were able to do the dishes and get some washing done yesterday.

I agree with Mazzy in that being sick as weird as it sounds is better, as its actually visible unlike internal things like arthritis and mental illness. If your physically sick or the injury is actually visible then it makes it more understadable for others and less destructive for ourselves because people dont think any different of us if its visible.

Im here for you too through whatever it is your going through, good bad, the ugly, the bold and the beautiful. Whatever you are going through im here for you and while I dont have have the experinces that other members have and cant give the best responses or what you might be after, I am always with you in spirit just as you are for me. I still often imagine you being with me and it does help.

Love you loads my little inchworm Nanny Niqua

@Former-Member

btw would you like another picture to upgrade you current N in your avatar?

Good afternoon, Niqua

Just at this moment, I'm feeling marginally better than I have since last night. So here I am again, back at the screen-page writing to you, wanting to engage further in this conversation, and friendship.

Sometimes it really does feel like we are pen pals, like in the old times, when people would write long letters to each other. Did you do that with people too? I wrote like that to a friend for years, and had a good letter relationship with my dad too. Lucky to have had that. Lucky to have it again here with you too.

Your words have not harmed me. I hope mine have not hurt you either. Though, having said that, I also know that it's hard for two or more humans to have sustained contact with each other without some hurt feelings, even if mild and transitory. That's where forgiveness comes in for me. Mind you, I say these things, but my love of humanity is really rather abstract and absent a lot of the time, since I do have a fair bit of trouble with ordinary people in the flesh. Trouble with myself, more like it.

I respect your beliefs and will try to bear the seriousness of them in mind in future communications. I guess, when it comes down to it, I'm not sure I really believe in beliefs. Good and bad seem to be constantly at war to me. I try for a more peaceful middle ground, though I still have pretty radical politics to speak of. Thing is, I've researched a fair bit of history. And every age has had apocalyptic presentiments. I'm guessing, and trying to accept, that human life has a finite life span, like the individuals that make up humanity. I don't know when this is all going to blow. With the US and Korea facing off with nuclear weapons, it's a very scary time to live. But, getting back to history, it's always been a scary time to live, it seems. I'm not sure I think any worse towards humanity about it at one level. We can't help being what we are. And some part of me feels that, toxic qualities and all, we have a place in the universe. Otherwise we wouldn't be here.

Does that make any sense? I wrote it off the top of my head, probably shows. My logic is flawed most of the time. Unlike those interesting Vulcans we both like from Star Trek. Bottom line is, I think I just want to live a day to day life, with small personal concerns, guided by what my heart and intuition tells me, with a bit of help from intellect. I don't want intellect to rule. It's led me up too many garden paths (she says, from the bottom of a garden still).

Rave, rave. Sorry, Niqua, I think I'm a little delirious from this chest cold.

To get back to your post, not having any children of my own, or grandchildren, or much contact with children at all in my life, no doubt affects how I experience things.

Yay for the dishes and the clothes off the line! I've got one load out there dry and waiting to come in, and another load ready to go into the machine. I hope I do both those jobs before long. Perhaps I might even get to the dishes!

I hope we are bringing healing to each other too. I'm never sure about myself. I have been known to be a bad influence. But I do appreciate friendship. Thanks again for yours. Love to you.

@Former-Member

Good Morning my beautiful grandgirl Claire

YES! I would love another Avatar from you!

Thank you for you kind and caring message You are a special person, one that can see my soul; there are many on this Forum that can do so - but your so young, that you understand so much is a little sad, yet I believe those that have involvement with you, will be blessed

I'm really hoping to get the washing machine going today, I'm off to the center of my Universe tomorrow 🙂 I'd like a few bits of clean cloth to come home to 🙂 Ah yes the illness/injury that can be seen is so much more believable - you know, I had a Doctor tell me once - I was too young to have neck problems!

And I am there for you, whatever is it you go through - even if my brain can't take it all in sometimes, I will always care and as best I can . . . be there

Nanny Niqua 🙂

@outlander

Good Morning Mazy

I love you

Hoping that margin of feeling better is growing every day 🙂

I am blessed with your freindship and cherish our conversations. We do feel like pen-pals and I have had them before. I used to enjoy drawing letters . . . putting little cartoon pictures all the way through {back in the days where printing photos onto a letter just wasn't possible 🙂 I had a good friend though that I would discuss much deeper stuff with - those lettes were like little books 🙂

You are so right about people that have anything to do with each other, always end up hurting each other. I guess when I say I'm not big on forgiveness, it's for bigger things. I seem to have a line, somewhere in my head, once it's crossed that's it; and that line has receeded a great deal in my lifetime. I think it also has to do with what that person will accept from me, if there isn't much give I won't have much take.

I've never really thought about it but I guess the way I look at my lifes experiences, are my beliefs, my religion, my philosophy. I think we all have them. Even the likes of an individual Priest within a church, they will have individual thoughts that are strong to them, which is a belief - strongly influenced by their faith, but their own all the same.

Ah yes, history does have a tendancy of repeating itself - over and over and over. It's another reason why knowledge is so useless to the World. I'm watching a series called Cosmos, by Carl Sagan, he goes into history quite a lot. So many powerful nations, that I'm sure the people of those nations thought it would never end - but they did, each and every one of them. There were discoveries well over a thousand years ago, that were so completely accurate . . . and so completely repressed; because they didn't 'fit in' to the current beliefs of the day. The discoverers where exiled or executed for daring to seek and see the truth.

I think I also try to find a peaceful middle ground, I tend to call it acceptance. I don't blame you for your radical politics, I've never really understood any of them. I avoided political conversations, because I avoided political knowledge - they're all crooks as far as I'm concerned. I don't believe 'the people' really get to decide much, and I don't believe any one individual that gains such power is not tainted by it. But I think chaos would be much worse. I'd like to see much shorter terms of power for these groups, I know they're all puppets but believe there are some that 'cut a few strings' along the way. I think it's that tiny margin of free will, that shapes the evolution of our civilization.

I am personally very concerned about North Korea and America, I see a pair of Hitlers. I believe if Hitler had had access to nuclear weapons, he would have used them. I think nuclear war would trigger a natural catastropic event. Though to be honest, I beleive that event has already been triggered by the likes of Cherobyl and Fukishima - like you I accept that everything ends. Like you I believe we have our place in the Universe, the proof I think, is that we're here. I don't think everything is successful or positive, but that doesn't mean that there can't be positive success during our time.

You make a lot of sense to me Mazy, and all logic is flawed - there are very few rules without exceptions. I too just want to live a day to day life, with small triumphs and joys and even smaller trials and tribulations 🙂 I think our own intuition and an intelligence we can't escape, are the only real things that can guide us.

Rave, rave, rave away my marvellously minded @Mazarita :D!!! They say real love is never having to say sorry - well, for what it's worth, I think it's ok if your sorry or if your not, if your happy or sad, joyful or mad . . . I love your mind . . . you. I accept your yesterday, your today and definately your tomorrow - whatever they may be. You and Claire, like the center of my Universe - there is no line for you to cross.

Let the thread that connects everything in the Universe, carry my love to you

Niqua