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General chit chat

General chit chat

Hi@Faith-and-Hope, @utopia, @Mazarita

I'm still not very good at 'navagating' this site, maybe that's why I kept trying 'instant' chat sites - they seemed easier. But I like that messages can be checked, that it's not instant feels like some sort of barrier against instant shock I suppose - though I know this is a public Internet site so anyone can use it. I also think, though I hate the term Mental Illness, as I think it takes all the physical out of it, that the people that cause trauma probably suffer from it, so they would have just as much right to use it. But I feel a bit like typing I think, so I thought I might just blurb a little?
I've went away for a few days. I go every month. I visit the center of my Universe 🙂 The one person who has been there with/for me, their whole life & I believe will remain that way until I die 🙂 . . . & quite the large Family they have provided for me to share in 🙂 I go from, it almost seems like another Planet sometimes, my life is very quiet; to the center of my Universe, which includes 5 grand-children ranging in age from almost 2 to, going on 18; then there's the partner, the partners Parents and a large variety of friends 🙂 I often find myself thinking 'alein sound dimension' - there's so much noise on so many different levels! Every single one of them has every gadget known to mankind, and most of those gadgets make noise! And my World is a lot calmer, with a lot less going on - we're usually driving in the car, taking children to school, doing whatever shopping is necessary for the day in time for whatever seemingly endless appointment is due, . . . by the time my alarm goes off to make sure I wake up in time to get tired in time to go to sleep in time 😄 There's no way I could keep that pace up anymore! After a few days I find myself almost running away with my tail between my legs 🙂 But it's the perfect balance really, I do spend a lot of time alone - apart from my 3 furry, four-legged friends; but I am extremely lucky, my bond with my only child is of a strength I can't see breaking; I get a phone call or text every night & welcomed by a dozen open arms and smiling faces every month. I am lucky, I have a good life. Well, I think life is just a word, neither good nor bad. I have good experiences and I am happy 🙂

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In response to: General chit chat

Re: General chit chat

Hi @Former-Member, just noticed we are online at the same time. Are you still there?

In response to: Re: General chit chat

Re: General chit chat

I'm here @Mazarita, but just flying by, there's a party for Mohill somewhere, I wanted to put in a pic or 2 🙂

But I also want to watch a DVD, they help with my 'off' switch at night - the later I start watching the later I tend to get to bed.

Lots of love to Mazy, I'll pop back on again later, glad to hear you got out of the flat today :)

In response to: Re: General chit chat

Re: General chit chat

Hi Niqua,

Just saw your latest while I was drafting this one. This is a catch up on recent posts from you that I haven't responded to until now.

Firstly, gotta say, that solar business keeps you on your toes! I like the story of your little snake too, how kind and sweet of you to gently put that piece of wood back where you found it.

How awful getting a tick bite in the middle of your back where you can't reach it! Glad you got it with the insecticide, although it's not that good an image you having to dribble it down your back in the hopes of saving yourself from the tick. Are there any other symptoms with this variety that got you?

I also love your stories about getting lost, discovering new places, and then finding your way home again somehow anyway. I wouldn't like running into the wild pigs though. You were brave to stand your ground and continue! I had never heard of sun dews, so looked them up. Very exotic looking and carniverous as well! Wonderful you had such a magical experience in the new forest.

Yesterday was a weird one, with the sick attack last night and a strange social occasion earlier in the day. But I still managed to do some washing, make the bed and get myself out of the flat for the afternoon, including a long beach walk to get to the social occasion. Oddly enough, getting out usually makes me feel happier with things, even if they don't go so well when I'm there.

And today has been another good one. Got out of the flat and on the bus before 10am, for a get-together in a park for various clients of the Phams program. That included a walk with my ex support worker, who is working in a different area of the program now. Great to see her, even though we are no longer working together. After that, more walking and bussing to get to the art group at the local community mental health centre. After that, more walking to visit my close friend. Three activities in one day is a lot for me and I was buzzing when I got home. I have had a fair bit of trouble settling my hyper energy tonight and have felt quite agitated. But have done various things to wind down and feeling okay again now.

Well, that's about it, I think we've caught up!

Love and hugs your way.

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: General chit chat

Re: General chit chat

Spinning around doing cartwheels here Mazy 😄

Thank you for your wonderful catch-up message, it really means the World to me that you've done that

I am going to get off now though and watch some DVD, staring at the idiot box helps with my sleep pattern. I'm sure to give you a proper catch up tomorrow morning 😄 You kow me and my blurbs!

Love you Mazy

In response to: Re: General chit chat

Re: General chit chat

Hello Mazy @Mazarita🙂

The solar business is a little busy during Winter {it's much easier in Summer, though then I have to make sure I top-up the water in the batteries regularly} Before I put the 2nd system together, in Winter I would simply run out of power, usually by 6pm! I'd make sure I had the lap-top and a little portable DVD player charged up, so I could watch something, as my eye sight has deteriorated and there's no reading or doing arts and crafts by candle light for me anymore 😉

On the whole I think snakes are gentle creatures, I've never had one attack me though I know the Browns will do so during breeding season. Bites are normally due to somebody poking and prodding at them, or accidentally stepping on them. We had 9 bites here last Summer, a couple of them were fatal (one of them a child). I've lost 1 dog and 1 cat to snake bite 😞 Now I can add feral pigs to the list of deadlies out here, I think I preferred not knowing - I thought the tracks I was looking at were sheep and often wondered how sheep got into the parks and forests; though I have heard they often fall off the trucks and that the State forests do lease out to farmers. I'm far more afraid of cars, either accidents while I'm driving or other drivers running over my critters.

The ticks out here I put in the same bracket as Mozzies and Midgies, just extremely annoying, no other symptoms except nothing else itches quite like it! 😄 The centipedes and wood scorpions though I avoid like the plague, though I've never been bitten I believe they hurt a great deal! (oo) We get these brown spiders (amongst many others) here in Summer too, I counted 2 dozen one night - it was like they were having a party in my lounge room, one even crawled up onto my lap . . . and I really have a phobia of spiders!!!

It's actually a little exciting getting lost, like an adventure, the panic sets in when I realize I don't know how to get home . . . I have to be able to get home!!! But even since I've gotten a GPS that panic has been a little less. I've had one for years, an for the first couple all I ever used it for was to get to the Center of my Universe - doesn't matter how many times I go there, I couldn't find it on my own . . . there's just too many turns to take wrong in the 5 hours it takes to get there!! In the last year or 2 I've started using it just to go places, like just going for a drive knowing the GPS will find my way back 🙂 I still can't find my way to and from the local national park that is literally just around the corner! There's a rabbit warren maze of dirt roads around where I live, and in the forests and parks themselves; and I can't recognize things like I used to.

Ah yes, the Sun Dews, I was absolutely amazed; they were tiny but thousands of them! I must go back with my camera! I told myself I need to put my camera in my car, so it's there when I come across these things. I used to carry it everywhere I went, I was a bit obsessive taking photos of anything and everything (perhaps I used it as a way to remember things?, proof to myself that I had really seen them?) But I haven't had the urge to pick it up for a couple of years now - I declare that my mission for the day . . . charge the camera and put it in the car!!

I read a little about your weird day, I'm sorry you were put through that. I have had many similar occasions in my life, were I have 'helped' friends out. The last occasion, I finally realized and even spoke aloud of my disgust that they were abusing a woman with (I even used the term) a mental health illness. It was as if I thought that was all I had to offer and I feared if I did not submit and do as I was asked, I would lose their friendship. I once had a Doctor tell me 'some people are better off alone', it made me very angry at the time, and I still think that Doctor has never really been alone - but maybe they were right. Now I am lonely but I have a much higher opinion of myself, and do not need to numb everything out with substances all the time.

It makes my day better when I hear you've had a good one 🙂 Out the flat and on the bus before 10am - that means you got cleaned up, dressed and walked all the way to the bus stop by 10! Way to go girl!!!:):D Glad you got to see your friend, because that's what she is now, someone who chooses to keep your company without any dollars and cents involved 😉 My you had a busy day! How's the art group going? Did you do more painting to music? Can you dance while you paint to that music? I can understand how such a day would agitate you and am proud of you for doing the various things that you know will wind that down and help you feel okay again

I love our catch-ups, our very real communications and your soul

Still streaming the love XxX

Niqua

In response to: Re: General chit chat

Re: General chit chat

Hi Niqua

Another good image right there... you reading and doing arts and crafts by candlelight.

I think you are right that cars are scarier than snakes. Though I am very scared of snakes, I know cars are more dangerous in general to humans, because of how many there are and how often the accidents. They are also f&*#ing up the environment big time. Still, I get lifts and use buses and occasionally even travel in jets, and if I lived where you do I would not hesitate to have a car. I know it's an essential for many people for many reasons. But, even when I was younger, I didn't like cars and traffic. I didn't get my driver's licence until I was 31. Now, I don't drive and haven't for some years.

Another amazing image: two dozen brown spiders at your place.

I have liked the feeling of letting myself get lost at times too, though not as adventurously as you.

Have you charged the camera and put it in the car yet? A great idea! I'd like to see more of your adventures.

It's okay now, what happened on that odd day. There was no question of me submitting, out of the question. But I understand that my friend's bipolar is out of control at present. She is not really herself. I only see her about once a month and I think it's important for her to have friends who just keep on being around even when she is pretty crazy. We've known each other for about 6 years and I really care about this friend. I won't be going to her place again with that guy around though. We can meet in cafes, or just her and I at my place, or out on the beach for a walk. That's the kind of thing we usually do together anyway.

What a weird thing for a doctor to say to you about some people being better off alone. I don't think they were right. But it's great to hear that your self esteem has improved in your single life, and that you don't need to numb things with substances.

Thanks for your encouragement of my activity this week. The art group is great: low key, relaxed, meditative at times, chatty at others. No dancing as we are seated at a table, though I was probably tapping my feet to the music that was played. I know for sure I sang quietly along to bits of at least one of the tunes.

Well, today has involved going to the doctors, having a B12 shot, pap smear, and a few other bits and pieces with her in a long appointment. When I went in the door, she had been crying. I asked her how she was but she didn't want to talk about it. I understood that because of the professional doctor role etc., so just tried to be soft and gentle in the way we talked about me. At one point, when relating some of the hijinx of my fully manic days, I even made her laugh.

Was meant to go to an arty event locally tonight but didn't make it. Instead, another friend from north Queensland arrived in town to stay with my close friend, so I walked down the beach to her place (about 2kms) and spent some time with them both. So, all in all, another good day, some weird swirly feelings from being so social and out in the world notwithstanding.

Sending more love down the stream to you.

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: General chit chat

Re: General chit chat

Good night Mazy @Mazarita 🙂

I will respond to your beautiful message better tomorrow. I'm going to lay this old body down now. I hope you sleep well and wish peace for you

Niqua

In response to: Re: General chit chat

Re: General chit chat

Goodnight, Niqua. Sleep well.

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: General chit chat

Re: General chit chat

Good Morning Mazy @Mazarita🙂

Here's an image for you - I'm sitting here in my recliner, my feet up on a computer chair wearing dark blue granny slippers with white fluffy linings and a Velcros tab over the top that holds them on. I'm wearing an aubergine purple fluffly full length night gown and I've tied my dreads up with my dreads in a pony tail. 😄 Try and get that image out of your head 🙂

Yes, when it comes to weapons of mass destructrion, cars have got to be up there at the top! Cars, industry, electricity, refrigeration - fancy all those man-made things being so very harmful!?! I got my license about 10 years younger than you, I was completely dependant on a partner until then and he would lock me in the flat when he was gone - so what was the use of a license?

Ah yes, the wildlife that joins me inside my home is quite amazing - bugs, reptiles, birds and bats . . . and of cours there's a wide variaty of rodents too 🙂

Of all the places I like getting lost, I think here in the forum is the best. I find myself getting lost in thought, little memories sneak through - some good, some bad, but all experiences I've had.

I pulled the camera out of it's bag this morning, turned it on - it was flat, so it's charging right now 🙂

I must have come across a lot of people who's bipolar was out of control, that wouldn't surprise me. If I look back more honestly, most of them were just trying to please their man. Though I ended up being hated as the 'other woman' every time, and I was just doing what I was asked. I lost every one of them anyhow. Nobody ever just kept on being around when I was pretty crazy, you have a very lucky friend.

Perhaps the Doctor just couldn't think of any other way to keep me safe, I know I don't.

Now I have a good image - Mazy tapping her feet to the music whilst the magic of colour flows from her fingertips 🙂

Sorry your Doctor was upset, I know your very fond of her - good old manic hijinx . . . they ended up being good for something 🙂 Glad to hear your looking after your health:) which includes your 2km (I'm guessing 4km there and back) walk for social interaction - well done 🙂 Shame you missed your event, that I thought you had the chance to meet one of your video people at. But I imagine the swirly feeling would have been quite the whirlpool if you had?

I'm feeling a little blah - not down, just a little flat. The natural 'high' I've been on can't last forever. But the dishes are done and the bed's made, I hope that's become an obsession 🙂 I'm planning on visiting the Center of my Universe on Tuesday. I had to wait for 'pay day' as they've needed a bit of financial 'help' of late. It's kind of disappointing considering there's 4 incomes in that household now and they still need 'help' from their looney old, pensioned off, Mother.

Sucking up that love and really appreciating it

Still sending it back XxX

In response to: Re: General chit chat

Re: General chit chat

Niqua

That image of you in your dressing gown, slippers and tied up dreads is friendly and not at all bothersome to me. Aubergine sounds like such a lovely colour for a dressing gown. Mine (that I'm still wearing after 4pm) is fawn, fluffy, and very warm, long and cosy. I bought it some years ago on ebay from England. No cold gets through this thing. Just right when you rarely use a heater in winter.

Sorry you had to go through that with that partner when you were younger, absolutely awful. Hugs.

I truly get the picture of the wildlife at your place. You don't live alone at all! You've got dogs and many other creatures around. I'm sure they would be better company than humans in some ways!

So glad the forum has turned out to be such an addition to your life. As much as I have appreciated the forum over the past couple of years, I'd still have to say that adventures in real life are for me more important. But the forum is a great place for me to share those adventures, which makes them all the more meaningful. Yep, the forum rocks.

It makes me very happy to know that you have charged the camera and are planning to take it out again.

Well the walk was only 2kms because we got a lift home. 4kms is about the outer limit of what my legs would do these days, and wouldn't manage it in one go. But I am always working to extend that, whenever I am not slumping. A few years ago I could barely make it from the entrance to the beach to the shoreline. So things have improved a lot, even despite arthritis and other muscular-skeletal problems. I'm a bit proud of myself for that.

It is a pity I missed the arty event where I was going to meet up with my new collaborator. The main problem was that C's car had to go in for service yesterday and it turned out they had to keep it overnight, so no viable transport to the venue (which is not public transport accessible). Also the friend from Cairns only visits occasionally and was only here last night. The new collaborator and I have agreed to meet when he is passing this way on his fairly regular visits to Brisbane. He lives about 2 hours from here. And, in the meantime, we may get onto starting a new collaboration over the net and get things moving that way, even before we meet in person.

Sorry to hear you are feeling a bit flat. I also read your poem in the other thread and wondered if your mood had taken a further dive. Either way, the dishes and bed being done is great. Hugs for the difficult feelings you might be having today.

Maybe see you at Friday Feast tonight!

@Former-Member

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