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General chit chat

General chit chat

Hi@Faith-and-Hope, @utopia, @Mazarita

I'm still not very good at 'navagating' this site, maybe that's why I kept trying 'instant' chat sites - they seemed easier. But I like that messages can be checked, that it's not instant feels like some sort of barrier against instant shock I suppose - though I know this is a public Internet site so anyone can use it. I also think, though I hate the term Mental Illness, as I think it takes all the physical out of it, that the people that cause trauma probably suffer from it, so they would have just as much right to use it. But I feel a bit like typing I think, so I thought I might just blurb a little?
I've went away for a few days. I go every month. I visit the center of my Universe 🙂 The one person who has been there with/for me, their whole life & I believe will remain that way until I die 🙂 . . . & quite the large Family they have provided for me to share in 🙂 I go from, it almost seems like another Planet sometimes, my life is very quiet; to the center of my Universe, which includes 5 grand-children ranging in age from almost 2 to, going on 18; then there's the partner, the partners Parents and a large variety of friends 🙂 I often find myself thinking 'alein sound dimension' - there's so much noise on so many different levels! Every single one of them has every gadget known to mankind, and most of those gadgets make noise! And my World is a lot calmer, with a lot less going on - we're usually driving in the car, taking children to school, doing whatever shopping is necessary for the day in time for whatever seemingly endless appointment is due, . . . by the time my alarm goes off to make sure I wake up in time to get tired in time to go to sleep in time 😄 There's no way I could keep that pace up anymore! After a few days I find myself almost running away with my tail between my legs 🙂 But it's the perfect balance really, I do spend a lot of time alone - apart from my 3 furry, four-legged friends; but I am extremely lucky, my bond with my only child is of a strength I can't see breaking; I get a phone call or text every night & welcomed by a dozen open arms and smiling faces every month. I am lucky, I have a good life. Well, I think life is just a word, neither good nor bad. I have good experiences and I am happy 🙂

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In response to: General chit chat

Re: General chit chat

sending you lots of love and hugs @Former-Member xx

In response to: Re: General chit chat

Re: General chit chat

Good night Mazy @Mazarita, @Shaz51, Claire @outlander, niknik and everybody.

I'm sorry about earlier. Your messages are pulling me out of a bit of bother, a hole. I let myself run away with fantasies, when they're good they're really really good, but when they're bad . . .

I don't know who's on this forum, I don't know why this forum is, but I know I don't feel so alone since I've found it. I'm afraid of losing good things.

Thank you for your kind words, without judgement. Your very important to me.

Outlander, the best decision is your decision and you'll make it when you can. Any step in any direction, even backwards, I think is better than staying still in a bad situation. My only advice would be, just take one step at a time.

In response to: General chit chat

Re: General chit chat

💜💐💕 @Former-Member ....

In response to: General chit chat

Re: General chit chat

Goodnight Niqua
Spwaking if claire have you been watching outlander?
Your very sweet and kind and always in my thoughts 😚 big hugs and lots of love to you
Your very loved on here not just by me but by others too 💕💕

Lots of love Claire 💓💓

@Former-Member

In response to: General chit chat

Re: General chit chat

Good morning @Former-Member. I'm saying a good morning to you here today because this little space you have feels quiet and cosy. I mean to come past here more than I do because I enjoy reading your adventures and stories. I find myself getting lost (in a nice way) imagining what you get up to.

This morning I am away from where we usually are in the mornings, and this place is as close as I can get to the kind of open space, tucked away places you describe yourself adventuring in. The morning sounds here are so different to where I usually am in the morning. It's really beautiful here.

I noticed that you had a bit of a fright here and wanted to share that I too am very careful and sometimes nervous about what I share, for similar reasons to why I think you may be. I love being here and sharing real moments and stories with the real people here, but it does feel so surreal sometimes. I think it will be an ongoing learning adventure, working out how to find a balance of sharing enough of who I am to be authentic while keeping enough of myself to myself so it is safe. It's so tricky. I have to work hard to keep my fear under control because what is here in forumland is worth pushing through for me. You're a big part of what's here.

I hope you have woken this morning feeling a little better and that your day has started with something that makes you smile. Sending you a virtual hazlenut triple espresso to start the day, and some non-virtual best wishes and thoughts through the screens.

💗

In response to: Re: General chit chat

Re: General chit chat

Another good morning to you, Niqua.

@CheerBear is right that many of us have had the experience of getting frightened of what we have revealed here on the forum. I think you are safe because of the roundabout way the problem arose and that those posts were removed after only being here a short while. Also that the traffic on the site is ever increasing so that posts quickly get buried in the archive, even if they are in some ways revealing of us at the time they were made.

In any case, I too hope you have woken up feeling better than last night and that the dogs kept you good company over the dark hours. Good to have dogs around. You protect them and they protect you. Also, their innate wisdom and groundedness may help keep things that way for us too I think. More love to you this morning, Niqua. And hugs. BIG HUGS!!!!!

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: General chit chat

Re: General chit chat

good morning @Former-Member

In response to: Re: General chit chat

Re: General chit chat

Good Morning Mazy,

I am okay. I don't read numbers, but I do see it as a Universal language. Math is the truest truth. I've spent a lifetime trying not to be too hard on myself, and a lifetime making honest mistakes. I am not angry at the moderators, even if they do know who I am. I want to Thank @Former-Member and all the moderators for helping me 🙂 I like the fantasy aspects of this forum, the always good and supportive environment. But I am not stupid and know that is not real and want too much to collaspe myself into that fantasy. I think I just need a kick-in-the-butt with reality on occasions, this forum cannot do that, so I think I just do it to myself on occasions. The support is real, it is grounding, it is good. There is nowhere in the really real like this forum, I am lucky to have found it and I am grateful that it is here. I am not speaking of God, I am not religious, but I feel blessed with the friendships I have made here. I am grateful for everything you have said, not just in one post, but in all. Thank you for your concern and care. I'm sorry to have worried anyone, but believe the people in my little secret World understand me better than anyone I have ever met. Love you @Mazarita.

In response to: Re: General chit chat

Re: General chit chat


Good Morning @CheerBear,

It's a joy to hear about your adventures and that you are feeling the beauty of your surroundings 🙂 I just had a little finch fly into my home and although I opened both front and back doors, it would not leave the kitchen window. I got to hold it and kiss it on the head, before I released it - now that felt exquisitely beautiful!! 😄

Thank you for sharing, it really helps to know I am not singular in my thinking - in my fears. You know what they say about a burden shared, well here on this forum it is not just halved, it is splintered into light manageable weights. Like you I will always be learning that elusive balance of sharing and caring. I think it's like an unattainable light, shining forever above us all to keep us striving for the best we can do. You are right Forumland is worthwhile. I have shed so many tears over all the good from my bad, I feel guilt and yet relieved. I feel accepted. I feel I belong.

Thank you for your beautiful words, but more for the beautiful feelings that wrote them. Oh . . . and that hazlenut triple espresso - simply perfect 😄 only bested by your thoughts of best wishes.

In response to: Re: General chit chat

Re: General chit chat

Good Morning @Shaz51

Love you 🙂

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