General chit chat

Dearest Niqua, it's wonderful to have you back with us, but very sad that it's under such circumstances. Before I say anymore, I mainly just want to send you huge hugs.

I understand how hard the decision to leave would have been for you. I'm glad you did, for your own wellbeing. But I realise too that this now leaves you with seriously troubled feelings and thoughts.

Do you think it might be possible to look at the situation is less black and white terms. For example, you leaving doesn't mean you can't go back when things have settled. When you do that, you might set limits on the amount of time you spend there. So that (as you have been doing all the time since I have known you), there can be quick 'fly in, fly out' trips to assist with the chaotic mess that is their lives. But save your sanity by not staying too long.

But I won't rave on more about it because I don't really know what went down. Just know that we are here to help you replenish and find a way to forgive yourself and forgive your child and grandchildren for the anger that has arisen.

Lots more love and hugs streaming to your door, knocking knocking. Bursting like a bunch of balloons through your door when you open it. Or, if you don't open the door, left at the doorstep for you to find next time you go out.

@Former-Member

@Faith-and-Hope , Claire @outlander, Mazy @Mazarita

Love to you all through the battles that you struggle through

Thank you for your love whilst I struggle through one of mine

When you next open the door, Niqua, today's bunch of love and hug balloons will be waiting for you. Streaming love. Mazy @Former-Member

Goof Morning Mazy 😄 @Mazarita , Claire @outlander, @Faith-and-Hope and Everyone

Thank you for another big bunch of hug balloons Mazy I'm attaching my love to every winged creature on the Planet, so every bird and butterfly that passes, every fly and mozy that bothers, everything that flys your way is delivering my love to you

I haven't received a call from my child since I returned home, I have received a text both nights with a reason why they can't call. I'm glad I have received the text, but feel sad the calls have stopped. I think everything has changed.

I put everything I had into the centre of my Universe and I feel like it's knocked me over. I tried as hard, in fact harder, than I could . . . until I broke. I feel that my child not only doesn't recognize that, but is angry because I couldn't do better, I couldn't take all the shit that spews forth in their lives.

I think it's not just the house that's a mess, it's the routine of everybody in the household that's a mess. Nobody knows what anybodies doing or when, and nobody has the inclination or energy to take the time to figure it out.

I don't deny my child is facing a situation that I couldn't manage. That's blatantly, blatantly obvious now and I think it always has been. The household has children from turning 3 to just turned 17, so from toddlers to teenagers - all under one roof.

It's the main reason I sleep outside that roof, in the back of my ute in the driveway. All of these children have been brought up with Tv's going 24/7, in fact they can't sleep without one going & they all have one in their rooms.

I have never coped well in that household, but I never stopped visiting because I wanted to see everyone in it, especially my child. Now, for the first time in my life, my child and their household triggers physical reactions in my neuro-biological process.

I had to get out, the youger ones would not understand Nanny shaking and crying and dribbling from every orifice of her face all the time.

Oh Niqua, I'm so sorry it was so extra hard this time and that things are changed for now between you and your child. Did you used to talk to each other on the phone every day? I think it's good that there are still text messages happening anyway. I hope this is just a temporary thing while the emotions of what went down are still raw.

At the same time, I can't help but feel that your child is being extremely inconsiderate of you. I would go so far as to say they are using you sometimes. Don't they remember that you just recently saved their neck and got them a new car? I really feel they need to stop and start caring for you too. It's a two way street when we are adults. I don't think they have the right to be so extremely self concerned without a concern for your wellbeing in the slightest it seems.

You did the right thing leaving, for both the grandkids and everyone involved. You having a breakdown would have added another element of chaos to that household. You have acted responsibly by recognising your own limits.

Oh, I wish I could give you a big hug for real! A million virtual hugs headed your way instead.

I don't think anyone's ever sent me love on the wings of a mozzie before. I'll never look at a mozzie the same way again now! Thank you so much for your love, dear friend.

@Former-Member

@outlander, your words are wonderful. Group hug, you me and Niqua! @Former-Member