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alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

REDLINEZ750Senior Contributor04 Dec 2025, 4:28 am AEDT

alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

this will be my last sunset from my room this summer and this is my last night where my lion demands my attention and through one look says you packed that bag again how long dont think i dont know.

i just want to say in one spot not over many threads im not afraid because of you all.

i am only able to take this journey because of you all and you need to know you really are valuable part of peoples lives even though not in person you are somehow more real than those with faces.

hell you even have faces in an aura presence kinda way i notice if you guys havent noticed every individual has various struggles every day and somehow know where the support is needed more from a post and that person is shown care, support comfort and given space to safely share what ever they do or dont want to while sharing laughs, positive picture things and genuine care for each other.

i could go on

iwont

need try sleep last night in my bed this summer too and its ok because you my forum family have been taking my rants and fears and insecurity,raw unfiltered over sharing and knowledge of my mistake with patience understandinfg and without them things id still be falling because no one else was reaching to slow me down and find a path back out.

on upside im no comms for at least 10days so i want to post this here for you guys so all know you are appreciated, you know who you are and @moderators all of you, peer guides and supports really for me ive felt such a sense of belonging i thought was lost by losing contact with family.

not one of you asked why i need to do this you know, think about where else so many people dont want to know such things as a whole, for someone thats struggled with addiction since 15 i noticed it and its a first you are truly non judgemental and have made a positive impact for me so please know your worth.

i also thought if this is here you and i know where to go see the pookinator if you want see him before i get to again.

im only going tag a few so it doesnt look like i missed a few out im going leave a shitload out and i think they will tag others and so on and if not maybe they stumble acyoss it, sorry for typos and grammar just smashing this out and lying down few hours with me mate before car gets here 7.50. deep exhale

@tyme @TAB @Glisten @ENKELI @Chasingsunsets @MissGremlin @heartathome @Mustang67 @rav3n @Appleblossom @AuntGlow @Shaz51 please let those not here know i meant nothing by leaving them out and all the support team are part of the family i speak of as they see more than others hehehee night guys will try get on before handing phone over

247 replies

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In response to: alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

AppleblossomSenior Contributor13 Dec 2025, 3:16 pm AEDT

Re: alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

Not sure there is any coherent thread or post. @AlwaysMyself Its too long and complicated, but I guess I felt had a right to post on the forum as I had dealt with lots of mental health issues in the family. If you look up a person's profile and go to their number 1 page you can see early history. I also did edit a lot as I was afraid to compromise my son. Later I kept the Fragile thread going for my vulnerable side, whereas it was good to socialise and reach out to others and develop STRENGTHs.

I am planning to do some writing next year to make it more coherent for future generations, in the family, but it may have to be anonymous. It can be scary to think we inherit mental illness and we have no options. Future family may gain some idea of the many varied contexts rather than endless pathologising and failure to comprehend by services. Anyway it may be a good meaning making goal. Wanted to write the story for a long time. Will try and make it tragicomedy, so not too gruelling a read. Needed to reconnect with community first which I did through music, as writing is a pretty solitary and potentially triggering activity. My writing group of 10 years ago was a little self centred and there was vanity publishing type, who took advantage of my son. I was concerned about confidentiality breaches. I am just not very good at doing life. I make too many trust mistakes, as I am probably overcompensating and trying not to be paranoid, which was the big boogey man word I knew in teens. Maybe it was cos I had to trust fosters and social workers and had no idea who was a good or bad associate idk. Thanks for caring and being interested.

In response to: alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

CuddlebearSenior Contributor13 Dec 2025, 3:44 pm AEDT

Re: alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

@REDLINEZ750 Hello my friend. How are you going today? Love the kangaroo and what a gorgeous sunset.

In response to: Re: alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

REDLINEZ750Senior Contributor13 Dec 2025, 4:03 pm AEDT

Re: alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

https://youtu.be/sIaT8Jl2zpI?si=y-gxAitLB07br9Ke

@Appleblossom @Cuddlebear @heartathome @Bunniekins @DownMoreThanUp @AlwaysMyself @ENKELI @Shaz51 @MissGremlin @Flutterbug9

Thank you all so much

Appleblossom I think I'm meant to share this with you, if you know it already i only heard it twice

I heard in a group and chased it down because I had to hear it again.

then today alone beside a running creek with sun rays on me through tall gums and birds full of life,

I wasn't sad I just wept after so long not being able too.

If it's your first time I hope your alone and not being rushed.

God bless all you lovely people whoever you seek Faith

Sorry @heartathome I have an inkling I just made you cry again

In response to: Re: alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

REDLINEZ750Senior Contributor13 Dec 2025, 4:29 pm AEDT

Re: alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

I last saw my favourite psychologist that helped me get sober on 10/10@10am

10/11 at 10am I had been told I would be accepted into programme around February next year

I got fast tracked by Grace of God to arrive at detox 04/ 12 at 9am sharp. At 8am no driver unusual I ring driver he is told booking date was 10th

I rang detox told if not there before DR leaves I lose my spot I tell her situation she asks for driver company and takes over also probably checking my story t next available driver that was trauma informed and knew I wasn't going to city to buy shoes got me there I signed in at 10 passed 10.

I arrived here at 10am on the 10th day of this month.

Today I'm completely no bullshit workarounds abstinent from all drugs and alcohol completely for 10 days and one of my sons texted me said I know your in rehab Dad you haven't been answering my calls or texts

The Bible is my faith and I commit my life to it 'again' 🙂‍↕️

Is the number 10 symbolic in the scripture of New testament because it's been at every turn of things since that last day I spoke to my favourite psychologist who I still hope to see again once she starts her own practice and ironically don't I get 10 sessions from my plan?

@ENKELI can I please lean on your wisdom for this one?

I'm not being unfaithful or idologigistic it just the the 1010 has been so consistent in life my life's direction since 101010 this year

In response to: Re: alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

heartathomeSenior Contributor13 Dec 2025, 6:04 pm AEDT

Re: alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

AI says the number 10 is highly symbolic in the Bible. It generally represents completeness, order and divine authority - something made whole according to God's design.

There's a whole lot of examples if you want me to write them down. What do you think ENKELI? This is so beautiful!! Pass me the tissues! 💛

@REDLINEZ750 @ENKELI

In response to: Re: alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

heartathomeSenior Contributor13 Dec 2025, 6:20 pm AEDT

Re: alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

In response to: Re: alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

REDLINEZ750Senior Contributor13 Dec 2025, 10:57 pm AEDT

Re: alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

Thank you @heartathome I should of known you'd be onto it, I am forever grateful for your friendship I'm sure your horizontalised by now and I'm off to join the fairies too, I

get to go to worship in morning with group and it's salvation army so should be solid worship I'm looking forward to it and will feel safe.with support workers

Night my friend

In response to: Re: alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

heartathomeSenior Contributor14 Dec 2025, 4:45 am AEDT

Re: alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

You're welcome @REDLINEZ750 It's 4.30am and very quiet. The birds aren't even up yet. All I can hear is the roar of the ocean. I like it like this! I hope you enjoy the service this morning! 💛

In response to: Re: alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

REDLINEZ750Senior Contributor14 Dec 2025, 7:22 am AEDT

Re: alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

Good morning @heartathome I just had breakfast porridge with cornflakes on top and now feeling morning sun on me listening to magpies warble all other types of birds cheeping a ducks quacking and kangaroos bouncing across field with my new mountain watching over me from behind the gums.

Won't mention this pesky fly it just doesn't belong or does it? 😆

In response to: Re: alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

DahliaDreamsSenior Contributor14 Dec 2025, 7:35 am AEDT

Re: alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

Hello and Good Morning @REDLINEZ750 ,

I just wanted to say hi as I'm here catching up with your story. It sounds like you have been through a lot, I'm so glad you are where you are and that you are okay.

Hello to all the other here offering support. Too many to mention.

May everyone have a good day.

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