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alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

REDLINEZ750Senior Contributor04 Dec 2025, 4:28 am AEDT

alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

this will be my last sunset from my room this summer and this is my last night where my lion demands my attention and through one look says you packed that bag again how long dont think i dont know.

i just want to say in one spot not over many threads im not afraid because of you all.

i am only able to take this journey because of you all and you need to know you really are valuable part of peoples lives even though not in person you are somehow more real than those with faces.

hell you even have faces in an aura presence kinda way i notice if you guys havent noticed every individual has various struggles every day and somehow know where the support is needed more from a post and that person is shown care, support comfort and given space to safely share what ever they do or dont want to while sharing laughs, positive picture things and genuine care for each other.

i could go on

iwont

need try sleep last night in my bed this summer too and its ok because you my forum family have been taking my rants and fears and insecurity,raw unfiltered over sharing and knowledge of my mistake with patience understandinfg and without them things id still be falling because no one else was reaching to slow me down and find a path back out.

on upside im no comms for at least 10days so i want to post this here for you guys so all know you are appreciated, you know who you are and @moderators all of you, peer guides and supports really for me ive felt such a sense of belonging i thought was lost by losing contact with family.

not one of you asked why i need to do this you know, think about where else so many people dont want to know such things as a whole, for someone thats struggled with addiction since 15 i noticed it and its a first you are truly non judgemental and have made a positive impact for me so please know your worth.

i also thought if this is here you and i know where to go see the pookinator if you want see him before i get to again.

im only going tag a few so it doesnt look like i missed a few out im going leave a shitload out and i think they will tag others and so on and if not maybe they stumble acyoss it, sorry for typos and grammar just smashing this out and lying down few hours with me mate before car gets here 7.50. deep exhale

@tyme @TAB @Glisten @ENKELI @Chasingsunsets @MissGremlin @heartathome @Mustang67 @rav3n @Appleblossom @AuntGlow @Shaz51 please let those not here know i meant nothing by leaving them out and all the support team are part of the family i speak of as they see more than others hehehee night guys will try get on before handing phone over

247 replies

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In response to: alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

heartathomeSenior Contributor19 Mar 2026, 11:40 am AEDT

Re: alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

Oh my goodness @REDLINEZ750 ! This is a really powerful and emotional song! I've seen the video before and tears fell down my face! So sad! 😢

In response to: alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

REDLINEZ750Senior Contributor19 Mar 2026, 1:12 pm AEDT

Re: alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

That sounds distressing and terryifing @Bunniekins, thank you for trusting me enough to share that and I'm truly sorry you have those experiences, it sounds like you are protected by something I'd say Christ but do not mean to offend by doing so if you have different faith but my demons don't manifest in such a way mine are in my head and have the ability to change the lens with which I view the world, life when I arent aware of it and take me down paths I don't want to be on and make decisions that destroy my inner peace, drag me into dark places I know I have no desire to go.

It's like when my demons are at bay there's would be a closed door and I walk past but when they are trying to pull me back the door will be open so I walk through it without thinking and once I cross that threshold the noise turns blue skys into thunder clouds and it's not just a room behind the door but a world of bitterness, darkness and noise that disorientates me and stepping back out is not even an option I lose my way before I know it and in that place they are numerous and they swarm until somehow I realize I'm lost and relearn to see the outside world through my own lens and how glorious nature is then through that I can feel gratitude and wonder that drowns out the noise and I fight my way back to the reality of my choosing not theirs.

In response to: Re: alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

BunniekinsSenior Contributor19 Mar 2026, 3:00 pm AEDT

Re: alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

@REDLINEZ750 Red it is noisy isnt it. both visually and hearing .... noise. disorientating. i remember i would wake up and they would be in a corner the right end corner of my room at the end of my bed . they would compel me to do these things one was to move like a snake ....

Content/trigger warning

they would say "coil like a snake" i would then feel my body move like a snake, they would then make mee do all the sexual things. i wont go into as they scare me to think about. when i was exhausted i would fall asleep. night after night i would go through the same routine. i was so tired. sucking the life out of me.

In response to: Re: alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

REDLINEZ750Senior Contributor19 Mar 2026, 3:46 pm AEDT

Re: alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

I'm sorry if this thread has bought up scared moments you had not thought about for a long time @Bunniekins

In response to: Re: alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

REDLINEZ750Senior Contributor19 Mar 2026, 3:55 pm AEDT

Re: alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

I personally have reconnected to the vine of Christ and through daily Scripture, worship and gratitude my life has become a wealth of new beginnings where I dare to dream again @Bunniekins

Again I apologize if that's not your cup of tea it is the reason for my progressing transformation as at the start of this thread I had only just dared start to pray again thanks to @heartathome and some others on Christian chat at the time.

In response to: Re: alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

BunniekinsSenior Contributor19 Mar 2026, 4:18 pm AEDT

Re: alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

@REDLINEZ750 Red it is not that i do not believe in Christ it is i dont trust people associated with the church. they have not exactly been warm and fuzzy towards me rather more judgemental. tbh i believe Jesus to be a prophet. i wish i could believe i have tried so hard but i am just not into institutionalized forms of religion sadly. i just cannot fit. i believe when you die there is something other than just black as kerry packer once said. i believe in heaven i really do but not as religions describe it.

In response to: Re: alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

REDLINEZ750Senior Contributor19 Mar 2026, 4:54 pm AEDT

Re: alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

Being born again for me is different to Catholicism and the churchey type religion sects.

It's good you believe in heaven @Bunniekins please know I'm not forcing doctrine upon you just sharing my own experience .

.CONTENT WARNING

Before I was 8 I had been sexually abused by clergy if church that would after camp talk to my mum about how well behaved I was and even get me to say what I most enjoyed about the camp making SMILING TOGETHER it was a display of power looking back.

But any way f#@k him and the others here's something to listen to from me @Bunniekins

@AlwaysMyself @heartathome @ENKELI

https://youtu.be/RIP1tmKnuCw?si=emwVjYscZZBD4QFy

In response to: Re: alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

heartathomeSenior Contributor19 Mar 2026, 5:29 pm AEDT

Re: alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

I hope you don't mind me putting this up here! I wanted to share what Sage had to say about being “born again” in Christ

It simply means starting fresh on the inside.
It’s about letting go of the past, receiving forgiveness, and discovering a new kind of life shaped by love, hope, and purpose. 💚

I pray God's love and protection around you @Bunniekins @REDLINEZ750

In response to: Re: alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

heartathomeSenior Contributor19 Mar 2026, 5:48 pm AEDT

Re: alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

@REDLINEZ750 @Bunniekins @ENKELI@Realness

In response to: Re: alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

ENKELISenior Contributor19 Mar 2026, 6:36 pm AEDT

Re: alone where family should have been finds siblings known but never seen

@REDLINEZ750 I am constantly amazed at how many people have been abused by clergy.

I dated a guy several years back who was abused by the counsellor at his private school. The counsellor took his life before my ex and his class mates had the chance to confront him. I know it skewed his way of thinking and I wished that he'd been able to get justice.

It's not just the Catholic church with these dreadful practices either, my ex went to an Anglican school.

I'm glad that you still have faith, my ex thought religion was good for other people. Just not him. 🫂❤️

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