Moving forward (sexual abuse )

Coming back to this @outlander 🙂 Fish feeding and washing time. With the added fun of needing to fill buckets of hot water to put in the bath so it is earm 😕

Catch ya later after all is quieter in the house

💛

All is quiet (er) in the house now and I can get back to this @outlander.

I can definitely see benefit in practicing and refining one skill/tool, but everyone would be different here. I have a huge list/tool kit of strategies like you do too, just sometimes it is a matter of remembering to use them, which is why I like the idea of a card. I laminated mine today 🙂

I can understand how it may be tricky to tune in to senses when you're triggered. I guess the idea is that if you tune in to what is physically around you and happening in the 'right now', you can move away from being consumed by the things you are sensing from the 'back then'. I would suggest that if you're triggered by a certain scent/sight/sound that actually is there in the 'right now' etc, you try and find others to focus on that are different to the ones your brain is going to from the 'back then'.

As for the part with the naming word on the flashback halting card, from my understanding it is an important step as it prompts you to consider what it is that is triggering you, so you can know it is not happening now. I use things like 'feeling trapped', 'losing everything', 'the huge fright', 'not being able to escape', 'not being in control' in this box a bit. Like I said earlier, my triggers are often feelings I have that feel similar to when I felt like that in the past (and everything turned ugly), rather than vivid recollections and pictures of the event. My brain likes to save those ones for when I am asleep. Again, whatever works for you is right though, as this stuff couldn't be more unique to each of us.

I can flip at a word (or many) too, quite possibly the same one you're referring to. I used to be much worse, then got better, then got not so ok with it again. I remember during the time I got better with it, it was powerful in a way to realise the word is a word and it itself hasn't got power over me. I intentionally used it, at my own pace as it felt right, on my own or with people who it felt right with, and then it didn't 'get me' for a while. The big bang happened and the word has regained some power again, but one day I hope to get it back. It's such an individual thing though, and I have bucketloads of respect for however any person chooses to use/not use words that mean something to them.

As for the book, the last book 'we' read, we had/have a thread about. I have been meaning to ask whether any book people want to join in with another book club kind of helping book, and plan to do that soon. I'll tag you in if you'd like and you can decide whether it is something you're up for too 🙂

Good luck with the cards and hope they help you too.

That's super tough when that happens @outlander. Sorry to hear.

I wonder if now is a good time to open up your giant tool kit and try something that feels right for right now?

Hey BB
do you want to talk about it here? @BlueBay