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Mum living with Schizoaffective Disorder Bipolar Type

Mum living with Schizoaffective Disorder Bipolar Type

Hi everyone,

I’m new here to this forum, thank you for accepting me.
My mum has been diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder Bipolar Type since I was 6 I have been a young carer for as long as I can remember. Now in my early 30’s I have had to seperate myself from her a bit and try to find my own identity / life which has been really difficult.
It’s so hard to watch someone whom you deeply care for, have an episode and go on and off their medication which she has my entire life.
When she is on her medication she is so lovely, kind and warm and she’s my mum, when she goes off her medication, she becomes abusive towards me, angry, unpredictable and manic. It’s so hard to manage.

My mum has no one looking out for her except me, we have no other close family always just each other, so I feel like I can’t step away completely because I worry about her welfare - all the time.

I know she’s an adult and so am I and she has her own autonomy which I respect but I can’t help but try to control the situation when she gets out of control because I worry she’s going to do something wreckless, like she has in the past.
I’m really struggling at the moment due to her current state and just feel exhausted.

I am grateful I have found this forum so I can relate to and be heard by other people. Thank you for listening.

8 replies

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In response to: Mum living with Schizoaffective Disorder Bipolar Type

Re: Mum living with Schizoaffective Disorder Bipolar Type

@Suncatcher Being a carer since early childhood is a huge responsibility. Yes, some of us have to shoulder it. My mother and father were diagnosed with Schizophrenia when I was 6. My mother was very against medication and my father died young. So I get how isolated and difficult that can be, with all the issues of actually growing up. Finding a way forward for yourself is key and finding ways to protect your being while still caring. Your duty of care is not total and it is tricky to find the level. It is not an even reciprocal relationship, however I know when we love someone it’s hard to separate our feelings and concerns and apply boundaries. Only you will know what works best for you. Take care 💙🍎

In response to: Re: Mum living with Schizoaffective Disorder Bipolar Type

Re: Mum living with Schizoaffective Disorder Bipolar Type

Hey @Appleblossom 🙂

Thank you for your meaningful reply, it really is comforting to know one is not entirely alone in these experiences. Thank you for sharing part of your own story and wisdom. I am trying to be more thoughtful of my own boundaries and look after my wellbeing, I think it’s an ongoing learning of trial and error.
Have a lovely day 🤎

In response to: Re: Mum living with Schizoaffective Disorder Bipolar Type

Re: Mum living with Schizoaffective Disorder Bipolar Type

@Suncatcher @Appleblossom

Hi Suncatcher, welcome to the forums.

I have Bipolar and my daughter was a young carer.

I used to go off medications because I was feeling well enough not to need them. Obviously it wasn't long before I ended up in hospital each time. After about 3 times of doing that I learnt my lesson. I now take my medication 100% of the time. Maybe it's harder with schizophrenia to realise that you are unwell? So your mum might not make the same association.

In response to: Re: Mum living with Schizoaffective Disorder Bipolar Type

Re: Mum living with Schizoaffective Disorder Bipolar Type

Hello @Oaktree 😊 thank you for sharing your experience. Yes that definitely could have something to do with it. I think she also doesn’t completely like the way they make her feel and has told me before that she doesn’t like how sleepy they make her and feeling numb to emotions. So I can see why she may decide to stop often.

In response to: Re: Mum living with Schizoaffective Disorder Bipolar Type

Re: Mum living with Schizoaffective Disorder Bipolar Type

@Suncatcher

I have always hated taking medications. It is only natural to not comply with them.

In response to: Re: Mum living with Schizoaffective Disorder Bipolar Type

Re: Mum living with Schizoaffective Disorder Bipolar Type

@Suncatcher

I am sorry that you are struggling with your Mum's wellbeing at the moment. It is understandable that you need to separate yourself somewhat at this stage in your life. You deserve to live your life too. It sounds like a tricky balance. I am hearing how much you love your Mum, but I am also hearing your frustration. I know you want the best for her. I wonder if there is anything else that could be put in place to stop you feeling responsible for her?

In response to: Re: Mum living with Schizoaffective Disorder Bipolar Type

Re: Mum living with Schizoaffective Disorder Bipolar Type

Hey @Oaktree thank you for your kind words 🤎 Yes it’s quite hard because when she becomes unwell she cuts off relationships with everyone close / people trying to look out for her. Maybe I need to do some research into more supports that are around. I know there’s a few in Tassie like Peacock in the city. Have a lovely evening.

In response to: Mum living with Schizoaffective Disorder Bipolar Type

Re: Mum living with Schizoaffective Disorder Bipolar Type

Hi! I don't have much of value to add, but I just wanted to say I'm right here with you, I feel the exact same way as you have written. My mum was only diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder - bipolar a year or so ago. We also have no close family, so I know how it feels to be the only one supporting her. I'm sending hugs. 🙂

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