@AOD spouse carer

Thank you for sharing so openly and welcome to the forums @bythistime! It sounds like you’ve been carrying so much for a long time while doing your best to support your husband and hold your family together. It’s understandable that you feel like you’re treading water, anyone in your position would be feeling exhausted and unsure.

It’s really positive that you’ve found a counsellor for yourself and are reaching out for support here, that’s so powerful. Many partners find it helps to have their own safe space to talk, keep up small daily self-care rituals, and connect with others who understand the impact of loving someone with AOD struggles.

What are some of those small daily rituals you might have now?

You’ve shown so much strength and compassion through incredibly hard circumstances. You deserve support and care, too and I am sure the community here will provide some of their support too 🙂

Hi. Honestly I don't have a lot. Friends have moved on, I closed my business as I couldn't cope with the stress. Its difficult as he is a great person. Helpful to others during the day and totally different at home. I have tried volunteering but I couldn't engage with others. I find myself lying a lot about my home life. I try to walk each day but that's not always possible. I am currently looking for a support group nearby. I am told I am mentally strong and yes maybe I am. I just not sure what I can do to look after myself with no income at the moment. My spouse was recently put on DSP. But I don't receive any income support at the moment.

Hi @bythistime

I can hear that there's not a lot of support around you but you're doing the best you can to keep reaching out and connecting 🌿

Have you heard of Alanon? It is for anyone affected by someone else's drinking, where they hold regular meetings in different areas for members to share their experiences and get support etc. Here is the link if you want to check it out!

TunedIn 🌻

Hi @bythistime

Welcome to the forums, I hope you feel supported here.

I'm really sorry to hear about your husband's struggles with mental healthy and alcohol use. Your'e doing an amazing job supporting him, even though it's such a heavy load to carry.

It sounds like he may be using alcohol to cope withhis mental health challenges, which is common but not helpful in the long run. I hope he can reach a place where he's able to accept support and focus on his recovery.

Being a spouse or carer for someone with mental health and AOD issues can be incredibly draining. From my own experience, you can't do it alone, you need support too. I found help through Al-Anon, ongoing therapy and eventually chose soberiety myself. My marriage didn't survive due to several factors, including safety issues, but getting support helped me rebuild a stable, meaningful life for my children and me.

Not all situations end the same way, but looking after your own wellbeing is essential. Practices like mindfulness, yoga, therapy and learning to self-regulate really helped me manage the stress duroing this time.

I hope you can find support for your own mental health while caring for your husband. There are services for families affected by someones substance use and being around people who truly understand can make such a differnece.

Take care of yourself, recovery is a long journey for everyone involved.

Kindly Alissse