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Oh no not again! - schizoaffective disorder ramblings.

QueenieSenior Contributor07 Mar 2017, 6:39 pm AEDT

Oh no not again! - schizoaffective disorder ramblings.

I am really struggling today due to my mental so-called 'ill health'. I hear derogatory voices still willing me to take the path of self destruction. It is really winding me down and I feel so exhausted because of it. I went to the GP today to see why on my latest discharge summary from the hospital, they didn't mention schizoaffective at all, just depression as my reason for admission. My GP said it must have been an error as I am definitely schizoaffective. I'm also thinking I am seeing things again as I see things that don't seem to interact with the evironment around it. Usually this means it is a hallucination. I feel embarrassed reality checking with others all the time (even though right now I have to I guess, even though I seem like an idiot). I am aware of an electric shock feeling through my body and don't know what it is from. I am confused!

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In response to: Oh no not again! - schizoaffective disorder ramblings.

MrMayfairContributor18 Mar 2017, 10:20 pm AEDT

Re: Oh no not again! - schizoaffective disorder ramblings.

I really like this idea. Im going to try and keep it in my head always.

In response to: Oh no not again! - schizoaffective disorder ramblings.

QueenieSenior Contributor19 Mar 2017, 4:30 pm AEDT

Re: Oh no not again! - schizoaffective disorder ramblings.

@Former-Member I feel flat but with one of those anxious feelings in the pit of my stomach like a thousand butterflies are wanting to be released. I hate this 'flat feeling' because, although I should be engaging in things, nothing seems to interest me, plus everything is an effort.

I suppose at least, for now, the paranoia and hallucinations aren't sweeping me up in a downward spiral. That's the positive in this situation.

In response to: Re: Oh no not again! - schizoaffective disorder ramblings.

Unknown userMember19 Mar 2017, 6:20 pm AEDT

Re: Oh no not again! - schizoaffective disorder ramblings.

Hi @Queenie

Sorry to hear its a flat day, that anxious feeling is not great, i get like that, where im just sure that its not going to be a great day, sometimes is going to happen or just no idea why im feeling so anxious...

Glad that the paranoia and hallucinations are manageable. Sometimes when i'm flat like that if i can make myself do something i do end up getting into it and enjoying it, but the starting part is hard and feels so futile!

Hows things going now?

In response to: Re: Oh no not again! - schizoaffective disorder ramblings.

QueenieSenior Contributor19 Mar 2017, 6:31 pm AEDT

Re: Oh no not again! - schizoaffective disorder ramblings.

Things are still flat. Had a big cry while telling my story in my other thread about my best friend who suicided ten years ago. It was kind of a cathartic process really I guess. I do feel better for telling it and letting another of those skeletons out of my closet come out for a while.

In response to: Oh no not again! - schizoaffective disorder ramblings.

KurraSenior Contributor19 Mar 2017, 8:03 pm AEDT

Re: Oh no not again! - schizoaffective disorder ramblings.

That's one of those things you never really get over @Queenie. Losing a family member or close friend to suicide stays with you or that's what I've found.

I do know that since my dear friend completed suicide nearly 3 years ago I will never try to take my life again!

Hugzzz 💕 🎶

In response to: Re: Oh no not again! - schizoaffective disorder ramblings.

Unknown userMember19 Mar 2017, 8:11 pm AEDT

Re: Oh no not again! - schizoaffective disorder ramblings.

hugs to you both @Queenie and @Kurra

very sad experiences 😞 Glad you were able to cry and releae.

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