SUNDAY FUNDAY

Hi @Fancy_Pants,

That is a fantastic analogy of what it is like in the forums, everyone is playing a small part in everyone elses recovery. i am hanging on tight, i don't want to let go of my part of the cog

@Appleblossom, what i was trying to say is you have played a big part in getting your son the recovery he needs, and it seems to be paying off, he is going out, having fun, keeping busy, and you said earlier in the week you have signe up to the mindspot course, so you are moving forwrd in your life, even though you feel like it is not moving fast enough for you.

@Appleblossom, you sound like you are on the right track, i am here cheering you on!!!!!

Sorry this should be on thread "When things are going right"

My son first opted out of school in year 7 when he was 13.

His anger and depression has been serious but "contained" since that time.

He is now 22. So that is 9 years less I month and I week in hospital. and 3 months with father, that he has been with me 24/7. I have been away for 3 separate weekends during that time.

I had planned to go away for 8 days once, but he had his major psychotic breakdown and I cancelled it.

So yes he has done well but I have been working extremely hard to get him motivated enough to take up anything. Which includes daily life, running a household, daily chauffeuring, dreaming up things, purchasing thins to make things happen, finding contacts to open doors. I most certainly have worked hard. Yes I am lucky to be on a pension but I believe I have more than earned it. Oh and I am actually disabled.

I am having a little difficulty with some childless sweet young things "out in the community" atm who dont seem to realise that mothers work. Or at least I do, whether or not with a fancy job title.

sorry @Appleblossom, i hope i have not upset you, i just wanted you to be happy and proud of what you have achieved, i din't mean to upset you, or make any derogatory remarks, if you have taken something the wrong way i am sorry. i only ment that i was happy for you.

I read first post and thought Oh lovely @Jacques

and then I realised you thought my frustration with the sweet young things meant you .... oh no no no no .. I am so sorry you misunderstood me.

Thank you so much for your encouragement @Jacquesand just your company .. that means the most to me.

The problem with long posts is that we can take the wrong bit personally or the wrong person thinks it is referring to them.

Mostly I have walked on the edge socially ,, been out and mixed and just accepted what others have dished up ...

One sweet young thing is an ex blonde bomb shell who is facing up to mortality but bulldozing me a bit in my recorder consort. She works near my daughter .. it is a generation thing. I am trying to be be feisty and honest about stuff and not too fluffy cos I just cant pretend things are prettier than they are. Though I do try and keep close to simple things and natural and manmade beauty.

So that is the problem with getting out and social. it takes a lot of energy to deal with opposition and people with other experiences she has just lost her father and was spoiled and dependant ..I know she has insecurities ...she thinks because I am on a pension I am not worthy .. I guess I am angry that I take into account other people's problems but really they have been miniscule compared to mine.

Please dont take anything I say personally unless I am posting directly to you. I feel fairly positive about most people I meet untill they start putting pressure on me ... and i have not experienced that on this forum. I am beginning to realise it is part of being close in musical pursuits that difference can be harder to gloss over.

@Jacques I was not replying to you at all. I guess I was offloading and thinking about another person that had upset me and just because you are younger you thought i meant you. SORRY

I have had a very lazy an unproductive weekend. Mostly watching stuff on YouTube and reading. I went over to my friends place today just to get out of the house for a bit. It was nice to catch up, and play with her dogs. I have been doing quite a bit of introspection and processing this weekend too.

Oh @Appleblossom, that is fine, it is just when i read it i thought it refered to me, i was worried i upset you in some way, ok i understand if you are angry or upset with me you will say so.

i love how direct you are, you remind me so much of my father, he never sugar coated anything, he said it as it was good or bad, i am sorry you are being pressured at your hobby, it is not fair, i have had people who have more than me put me down for being poor, like having things some how makes one better, personal qualities makes the person for me, not what they have. that is why i love this forum so much, no one judges each other on material things, just each others life experiance.

I am so happy to call you my friend @Appleblossom, i feel like you are the aunt i never had, Thank you for being on here, i like reading all you have to say, even when i read things the wrong way, it is good we can clear things up when misinterpreted.

Thank you @Appleblossom, i would be devistated if i ever upset you. or if you did not want me to be your friend.

Jacques

Hey @chookmojo, you do the youtube thing too, i do that most nights, nothing to watch on TV, i just look around tfor something on youtube.

Their is nothing wrong with having a lazy weekend, you deserve it with you achievements this week, and it is good you are out seeing friends, sometimes it is good to be in another persons company, sometimes i miss not having any friends to visit, well any friends at all really, someone to say hi to, have a chat with.

i hope this week is kind to you @chookmojo, you are doing so well.

Jacques

I have to say, this rabbit has far more personality than i thought a rabbit could have lol. Its zooming around the house and every time it runs past me it kicks its feet up in the air behind it. lol 😄

Go get a rabbit I say!

I could not stay away from forum for long as I hoped you would reply and the misunderstanding would be forgiven.

I am very happy to be your adoptive auntie @Jacques

Thank you for appreciating my posts.

I saw how denial and hidden and twisted emotions drove people mad. From that I tried to work with truth and being authentic .. I was not at all in touch with my anger growing up and was taught about it therapy .. it still took many years for me to realise when I am angry as it was so forbidden .. I do try and manage my anger responsibly .. and encouraged brother to do so .. I knew why he felt the way he did .. but anger did get the better of him. I sing so much to drown out my anger or try to convert my energy or passion or anger .. I often cant tell the difference ... into something good.

I have been largely socially distant or just been polite or friendly with people. I could not opt out completely as I had the idea I had a duty to socialise children.

@chookmojo

sounds the wisest thing after all you have been through recently

Hi @Appleblossom,

I don't know how i would have survived this long without the anger and hate, it has consumed me, every fiber of my being is angry, you are so lucky to be able to channel your anger into something creative, i have not mastered that yet.

you are a kind soul @Appleblossom, you are wise and have overcome adversity. you have managed to help your son when you also needed help, i could imagine that was not an easy task, i underrstand how much it must have hurt, seeing your son like that and not being able to fix the problems, you have done so well, and he sounds like he is turning into a well adjusted man. you have done well, i hope in the future you manage to find a way to care and be kind to yourself and not allow others to be mean to you.

Jacques