Judgement is a hurdle

Sounds bloody horrible. It’s hard to know what to say about your situation other than this is not something you should be going through alone. I know a couple of people who have lived through similar and they felt like their life was over. But even through the crappiest of circumstances, there is light at the end of the tunnel. So whatever happens, don’t give up. You need to reach out for support though. Maybe start with OpenArms and go from there. Life may never be the same, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be meaningful again. It really can be, but it has to start with you getting the support you need.

That sounds so rough @Breakfast68.

How many years were you together for? Regardless of the length there is usually a pretty gnarly feeling of grief. And with grief often comes anger and frustration and depression and a heap of other emotions.

What does "breaking point" mean for you?

Please keep reaching out to the community and always happy to have a chat ✌️

9 years together and married 7m.

We blended families (mine are adults but live in another state).

I have 3 precious step children whom only refer to as my children (20 boy, 15 girl, 10boy).
I have such a special mind with my 15. We hang out and do almost everything together. It’s hard to explain. But we make connected

we do football,, formal functions, events, movies and I even coached he u 15 afl football.

most precious time is when we watch movies together.

How are you feeling today @Breakfast68?

Sounds like family is pretty important to you. Do you have much contact with your older kids?

I know times are pretty difficult for you at the moment, and I absolutely wouldn't want to minimise that. I'm curious to know more about you though, based on some of the stuff you've mentioned.

What movies are you into?

What AFL team do you follow? I've been a St Kilda supporter (technically) for my whole life. I don't really follow it but I think being a Saints fan is now in my blood.

Do you have any other hobbies or interests?

Hey there

Yeah, speak to my adult children regularly and visit when I can. They have their own lives and I can’t put things around them to impact their lives.
I do like afl but I’m a rugby fan. Had a few boys I used to look after whilst I worked at Carlton move across to the saints over the last couple of years. Two really good boys recently. We all keep in touch and catch up mid week sometimes.

I enjoy helping others and really put myself out there around opportunities for kids who may not get the chance to experience something as simple as attending a game, or meeting a player

Do you have grandkids, @Breakfast68

I get what you mean about not wanting to put things on your kids. My parents did that a bit with me and I didn't like it. At the same time, I would have been hurt or pretty worried if I found out after the fact that my parents were going through a rough time. I know it depends on your relationship though.

I can't get around Rugby. I had some distant cousins involved with the Panthers many years ago.

What do you guys do when you catch-up?

Sounds like you do some epic work. What got you into supporting these kids?

Raised in a small country town and my parents were big on community work. Even though we were ostracised by so many people for being Aboriginal, so I grew up under segregation for my early years.
Anyway, my parent both worked hard and instilled that work ethic in my sibling and I.
My focus was always joining the military and at 17 I did.
Best move I ever made - until I realise the institutionalised racism I would face ever single day of my enlistment. The only reprieve was on deployment.
once I took discharge I became a school teacher and it was a natural stepping stone towards helping all young children in care or after homes. Loved it and filled my cup every single day.

Sounds incredible @Breakfast68 . Thank you so much for sharing. I look foward to hearing more about your experiences as a peer.

@Breakfast68

So sorry to hear that your relationship has broken down. Hopefully you can stay in the lives of your stepchildren because that would be in the best interest of the kids. It sounds like you are doing some wonderful work in your community. That is amazing. It must make you feel very satisfied. I am sorry that you experience racism in the forces. Things have come a long way but not really far enough. I am a light skinned Aboriginal so didn't face the racism. I didn't even know I was Aboriginal until I was in my 30's. It was our family secret. Anyway, I really hope that things improve for you soon. It sounds like you could use some better luck.

What sort of things did your parents get up to, @Breakfast68?

What drew you to the military? My Dad joined the ADF when I was very young and I've asked him about why he joined. Part of the reason he joined up was so that he would have a stable and decent income to support our family.

Without giving much away about your deployment; why did you enjoy it? I've heard my Dad talk about his deployment is mixed ways, but I know he really struggled to be away from our family. He talked positively about the camaraderie though and I think he felt a real sense of purpose from serving overseas.

It's really interesting that you were drawn to working with kids after the military. I'm sure there's SOME overlap but the two seem quite different. What's filling your cup these days?