MBT Therapist in Melbourne and surrounding suburbs

@Ru-bee hi there no worries, please rest assured i only posted this after reaching out to moderation about 3 times with these same questions. I have no received a response, which is fine. I'll figure it out on my own.. Thanks for the comment.

@peaceandsafety sorry i didn't see the response - i'm sorry ur in pain, it takes a lot to keep going sometimes, and a lot to even speak to that pain

how often do u go to the gym? I'm sorry the emptiness came right back

Hey @EternalFlower

Yesterday was full on grief... today I have woken up very dark.

I go to the gym 4-5 days per week. I started when I was a late teen because I was overweight, hated the way I looked and believed that if I could look masculine, I would feel masculine which would allow me to be desired and find a place in a social tribe - plus the attention of females because that means that I'm worth something, external validation to negate my own self hatred. Find the nurturing that I never felt growing up.
It didn't work that way. At all.
I don't know why I keep going, maybe because I've invested so much into it already. Maybe because a vain part of me wants to maintain that I look better than most people in my age (I tend to be told I look several years younger). Not with the bags under my eyes today that's for sure.

Maybe because a part of me knows it's another way to waste an hour in an otherwise pointless day of existence. I'm sure my reasons would vary day to day.
I am deep in a grieving process. Everything seems pointless and bleak and I keep going back to the same thoughts.

Hi @peaceandsafety,

It sounds like today is feeling really vulnerable for you... I can definitely hear that you're needing your days to feel more meaningful and connected. I am wondering what you imagine that might look like?

I also want to validate that how you're feeling is so incredibly human, especially if you are grieving.

I am really glad you reached out here, I have a feeling the sense of community will help a lot right now. 🥰

Thank you @AuntGlow

Today was horrible. I don't know what sort of details I can't provide on here but I dreamt that I was in a car crash. [Detail edited by moderator] Woke and erupted into tears that I'm still here.

The darkness has its hands firmly on me today.

I coincidentally had an appointment with my GP today, intent was a benzo top up and an open MHCP for the MBT waitlist I am on.

Doc gave me a urgent referral to a mental health hospital locally.

Broken is not the word, shattered is closer. My sister rocked up at mine. I think it's the first time she's told me she's loved me in a heartfelt way.

My mates must be rallying because they reached out to ask what they could do for me. Even if it was to look after my cat and take me to the hospital.

A friend arrived back home from interstate and spent time with me.

Someone who was my FP (she still is despite all the pain I feel) has been supportive as well.

Despite all this, I feel empty and alone. I don't deserve this care. Support. Time. Energy.

I appreciate you validating that these feeling are human. They are just so intense it's unbearable.

My mind is chaos of memories and stories. My heart is shattered. My soul is bruised and crying to be seen.

Gosh, this really does sound like a lot @peaceandsafety. 😔

I am sure we would all wrap you up in a huge hug if we could! 🥰

I am really glad your GP is supporting you with urgent support, it sounds like more care is really important right now. I can see you have lots of support around you, but I understand why that might be hard to truly allow in...

What do you think you need most in this moment to feel safe in your mind and body? For example, would calling a helpline be a possibility? I am just sensing that someone to talk to and co-regulate with could be helpful tonight. 💛

You are very kind @AuntGlow

Sadly, the referal is to a hospital that I know does not have experienced clinicians.

A help line wouldn't help, I have called before and have never found it to ease the pain. Ultimately, I end up being referred to the ambulance and I one case they were kind enough to send an uber to take me to hospital.

It's also very difficult when I have such a demanding job. Which in a way provides momentary distraction from myself.

I have taken a benzo not long ago and waiting for it to take full effect so I can roll up into bed.

Another day awaits which scares me.

The things that are heartfelt bring me to deeper tears of grief. It's counter-intuitive.

Just like how thinking about special moments of the past also bring me deep sadness.

Hello @peaceandsafety,

Thank you for sharing with me last night. I know there's a lot going in your mind right now, but we are all here with you, okay?

How are you feeling today? 💛

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@EternalFlower wrote:

Hi @tyme please can u link evidence base for ur claim that mbt is a growing field where clinicians are slowly being trained and up skilled? Where did u hear this? I do not believe this is true. I also am aware sane requires evidence base for any claims made to ppl seeking health info. I dont see any evidence base for this claim. Cheers.

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Absolutely @EternalFlower !

https://www.spectrumbpd.com.au/news/australian-mentalization-based-treatment-mbt-institute

The Australian MBT Institute has been established here in Australia and is recognised around the world.

"Institute staff have spoken on MBT-specific topics at both national and international conferences and events in the last year. There has also been immense interest in the sold-out accredited MBT Basic training now being offered.

Extending this, the Institute has been providing MBT supervision to local and interstate mental health services, supporting their capacity to deliver this evidence-based intervention."

Cheers @EternalFlower

hi, oh I didn't really mean related to Spectrum again, @tyme i know about them, and the work they've done for 20 + years in the MBT space.

I understand they are and have historically been attempting to develop MBT and have a new website as well and with ups and downs of funding sometimes offer new models, or create different ideas or brochures and training.

However, to my knowledge they haven't really changed or rewritten the space unfortunately and perhaps another orginisation can really make that difference. I guess I seperate spectrum the place and their quite specific approach to BPD and MBT and the therapy established via Peter Fonagy in the 1990s which can be incorporated into many different approachs and therapists can use as a psychodynamic treatment - https://www.healthline.com/health/mentalization-based-therapy

If its okay, i'd prefer not to see spectrum's resources as I personally don't think they have been helpful in my understanding of MBT. Thanks so much for sharing.