schizoaffective dating bipolar

Hello @charlie-07

Firstly, thank you for sharing and for your vulnerability. My late mum was diagnosed with schizoeffective disorder, and unfortunately, she didn't manage it very well because of the shame that it caused her. As a result, she didn't have the capacity to educate herself, to gain the self-awareness that is important to manage a complex mental health diagnosis.

I completely understand the embarrassment you feel because of this, and I want to say that you have nothing to be embarrassed about. If anything, you should be proud of yourself for sharing your story and seeking help and support from others. Mental Health still carries a lot of stigma, unfortunately, but the stigma attached is slowly being removed, and hopefully, one day it will be gone.

My advice to anyone with a complex mental health diagnosis is education. Learning as much as you can about your diagnosis, as well as your partners, and educating ourselves about it, learning ways to manage it best, to give ourselves the best chance of stability and get to a place of wholeheartedness.

Complete transparency, open and honest communication, is so essential to maintain any relationship, and even more so when complex mental health diagnoses are involved. I know how difficult it can be to accept a diagnosis. Still, if we use that diagnosis to drive us toward a better understanding of its effects and the impacts it will have on our daily lives, then this takes power away from the diagnosis and gives us more control over how we move through this life.

Finding health professionals who can provide you with the medical treatment needed to manage a diagnosis and having an open mind when it comes to medications and treatments. It's not a one-size-fits-all situation; it can take time to find the right treatments that work best for each of you. There is a lot of invaluable information online, and especially in communities such as SANE. Keep doing what you are doing by sharing your story and seeking advice and support.

Mental health is like any other health issue. It's all about finding the best treatments, and by doing so, it is possible to live a stable, safe, happy and healthy life, as an individual or as a unit, with a romantic partner.

I hope my words help you in some way, and I hope you are doing okay. Please reach out at any time; don't suffer in silence. It takes a village, right —or, in this case, a community —to raise a child and help us stay connected in this life. There is strength in connection. Be kind to yourself, your loved ones and those around you. Take care and stay safe.

P. 😁

Thank you so much for this, I realised this was actually the first time I voiced my experiences somewhat since finding out 😅

I unfortunately don't have the means to seek the right mental health treatment at the moment (both due to finances and also scarcity of professionals at the moment), but am trying my best to manage it with my GP and through self management/education

Thank you for trusting the community enough to share what's been happening for you. I reasonate with the liberation that comes with voicing something that means a lot to you. @charlie-07

We hear that life has it's challenges and that things are a little stuck in terms of getting support.

I'm wondering whether you are part of SANE's Guided Recovery program? You can check it out here: https://www.sane.org/referral

It is a free service that you can access for some additional support at this time. However, please note that it doesn't replace clinical support from a psychologist etc.

You deserve to be heard.

On the topic of free support services - thank you for sharing that @tyme 😁

I’ve been learning through my volunteer work that more and more free counselling services are popping up all over the state. On some of our shifts, we partner with community centres and the one I was at yesterday, they have a free counselling service on site, twice a week.

Not sure if this is an option for you but I thought I’d mention it.

P.

That sounds amazing @Paralyzed .

I wonder if there is a central location where you can find all these services, or is it just what you end up bumping into when looking for help?

I hope more and more counselling services nationwide get on board with this @tyme

Regarding finding these services, I am unsure, but I can ask around to see how people are connecting with them, and let you know. I remember a few years ago, I turned the world wide web upside down, searched it high and low, and had no luck finding a free counselling service.

I can confirm that both community centres I go to offer free counselling services.

P.

That's really good to hear @Paralyzed . Have you tried the counselling services?

MH should be accessible to all, not only the VERY unwell or the ones who have money.

@charlie-07 Thank you for sharing, I also have schizoaffective disorder.

I'm in a long-term romantic relationship and we had a lot of trouble in the first two years of our relationship because my partner didn't understand my mental health issues. I also had a different diagnosis at the time, which made it hard to explain. In hindsight, I put too much pressure on my partner to provide support, when I really needed professional help. My partner was also very people pleasing so they didn't set boundaries when they should have and would even deny needing boundaries when I checked in. I was seeing a psychiatrist at the time, but being misdiagnosed by him limited the amount of support he could give, although medication did still really help.

I think the most helpful thing in a relationship is to be able to set up a system involving honest communication and boundaries. If you finding speaking to your partner about mental health is a struggle, then you could try writing things down instead.

For example, when I get really angry I will start screaming at my partner, and they told me that this upset them. So when I get angry now, because I can't control the volume of my voice I will stop speaking entirely and we communicate entirely by text.

Over time, we have been able to work out how to avoid triggering each other and also how to repair things if something does go wrong between us. It can be really hard if we have a fight and it triggers psychosis in me, because that means we can't sort things out until I'm stable. And with my abandonment issues, my insecurity levels are unbearable until things are sorted. My partner is very patient and understanding and gives me space when I need space, reassurance when I need reassurance and explanations when I need to understand their point of view.

It sounds like a lot of work when I put it like this, but we also love each other very much and have lots of fun and laughs together. As long as there is mutual love, respect and communication, mental illness does NOT need to stop you from having a healthy relationship.

I'm wondering if it may help your partner if you shared some Sane Factsheets about Schizoaffective Disorder too? Bipolar is often a bit different to schizoaffective disorder, so your partner may not understand things like hallucinations and delusions.

Hey @tyme

Hope you are well 🤗

Up until about 5 years ago, I was paying full price for all my mental health treatment. I'm not sure if I ever tried searching for free mental health services, but it probably never crossed my mind.

I am a veteran, and I stumbled across an online post about white cards available to all ex-serving members. I couldn't believe the benefits I had been missing out on. I was discharged in 2011, and they don't tell us about these things; well, no one told me.

So I applied for a veteran, white card, and I must say that I am genuinely grateful that I have no out-of-pocket expense for all mental health services. I definitely don't take it for granted!

Don't get me started on the cost of mental health services — you will never shut me up, haha, and yes, absolutely, it should be widely accessible to everyone, whether it's free or subsidised, so that it's affordable to all, especially those in the lower income bracket, who definitely can't afford to access MH services.

P. 😁

Hey @charlie-07, thank you for sharing your experience with the community!

I can relate to your thoughts about distingushing about hallucinations and delusions as I have a diagnosis of schizophrenia. I was originally misdiagnoses with BPD and I never identified with it but do with my current diagnosis.

I do not have a partner so am not able to provide much insight into dealing with your challenges from my lived experience. I do believe that the community will have some insights to share with you.

We have a dedicated thread to Hearing voices and psychosis if you would like to check that out too!

And as @tyme mentioned we have the Guided Recovery program where you can speak with a Peer Support Worker or Counsellor for up to 7 individual sessions.

I encourage to continue to share your experiences with the community.

Take care

RiverSeal