withdrawal and heartbreak

hey there @Sasha101. firstly, welcome to the forums!

sounds like you've gone through A LOT in these last 6 months. i'm so proud of you for choosing not to self-medicate and working on your recovery. i know it's been a hard journey so far, and often times the withdrawal period can be rough before it starts to get better. have you spoken to a professional about this before? you absolutely deserve the space to work through that shame and disconnection - and i hope the forums is a space you can learn to reconnect in 💗

here are some services to check out if you're interested:

Turning Point addiction treatment, education and research centre

Community Alcohol and Drug Services | Mental Health Commission

please be gentle with yourself and know that we're here for you. take it one small step at a time, and remember to speak kindly to yourself. i know that the shame spiral can easily overtake us, but you're doing your best and you're reaching out - that already counts for so much!

(p.s. i've slightly edited your post to remove drug and medication names. this is to align with our 'limit detailed descriptions' guideline which you can check out here. if you'd like to discuss the edit further, feel free to reach out 😊)

Hi @Sasha101 I dont have a whole lot to say, but I just wanted to write that I'm going through something similar in identifying old patterns and trying to break free of the cycle. Youre not alone in this struggle, and talking about it can help, but I also I feel you with the fatigue that comes with the work people like us are doing.

Warm hugs from a fellow internet stranger ♡

Hey @rav3n @fruitisgood the above responses are for you 😊

@Sasha101 lil tip, use the @ symbol to tag other members if you want them to be notified that you've responded 😉

More How-To's here if you need em!

@Sasha101 no worries. I feel thats what the forums are here for. To talk to other people who 'get it'. How often have you experienced opening up to someone who had good intentions only to feel like they missed the point. I might be projecting a bit there. Im feeling disillusioned with it all.

As for your question, its hard to answer. Id say it's something I have experienced before, and it comes in waves, but with each passing moment, I learn and change and gain more experience and take new lessons with me. Id definitely say this particular time feels the most intense for me though. Leaving a toxic relationship and managing to find empowerment in doing it,even if Im scared, is massive for me.

I know what you mean with that new found awareness. It IS exhausting. You strike me as someone who thinks about things with alot of depth and insight. Which is great because it shows capacity to grow, but it also can feel like its always there weighing us down as we try to move forward making better/ different choices

@Sasha101 it is tough! good lord is it tough some days. Not that Id wish this pain on anyone, but it is some comfort knowing im not alone in this feeling. Thankyou for sharing with us

@Sasha101 yeah rumenation and perception of things are going to influence your journey so much & can make minutes ifeel like days and days feel weeks to the point time is so distorted.

an example is your perception of rock bottom is being to hard on yourself just from your post i can say that non judgrementally as someone that has struggled with substance dependency for over 30yrs and only offer a perspective for you that may give you room to breath.

so it sounds like 100 per cent things arent the best for you at all and your dealing with some massive life changes so be proud of yourself, be proud of the strength it takes to feel as strained as you are withdrawing because that is the hard road and your choosing to walk it.

admitting you have addiction and seeing twhere you play a part in relationship breakdowns by having a type instead of blaming everything on them is also strength that is usually months down the road of recovery so yeah be proud of yourself for that strength too.

i know your claiming bull poo and im no qualified educated anything i only speak from knowing rock bottom and just hoped to point some things out that are positive for you in your post that are worth giving yourself some credit for.

ADIS is 24/7 access to drug & alcohol councilling over the phone with a real person and you can remain anonymous if you choose they will be able to support you at crisis and provide you wuith other services in your area of your imterested also.

its nation wide.

may i ask if your a singer or instrumenter?