A song that describes your current emotional state TW

@Bunniekins @Like button not working

chicken wings for dinner 🥘 tonight

 say hello to two dogs delicately balancing in a models shoulders

@PeppyPatti you find the most interesting pics 😄 xxx

@Bunniekins @creative_writer @PeppyPatti @Meowmy @Dimity

This song brought me back to the teenage years of our two sons. They loved surfing. Such a Down Under video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0E1bNmyPWww&list=RD0E1bNmyPWww&start_radio=1

@DownMoreThanUp @creative_writer @PeppyPatti @Meowmy

https://youtu.be/qt0-4FzoNgw?si=-OsCigWpkJysqwdO

thanks @Glisten great choice.

Omg I love this song and weirdly in someone’s car - might be husbands been listening to it a lot because he bought a TAPE of this music for about $5 couple weeks ago……

great minds think alike ……

Thank you Peps @PeppyPatti

Hello @PeppyPatti!

Responding to your message below:

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@PeppyPatti wrote:

Thank you, @AuntGlow In many ways, my journey is no different than many others—we all find our own ways to survive.

Actually I hold my family here on Sane forums with such importance.

Growing up in an academic family in Perth, I was surrounded by prominent theories about my mother, but the experts never saw me - I cleaned houses, I had 2 children but happy to not see. Actually I remember one saying ‘ her youngest was so broken until he was 9 then she became a good mother.

what these people didn’t know was his neurologist told him and me that he was going to start cancer treatment as a teenager and at 9 the problem resolved itself.
My family is the same as many others. My situation is very usual.

Because of a head injury and overwhelming empathy, I had to be very intentional with my boundaries. Focusing my care on my second ex-husband, who has schizophrenia, was a strategic choice to avoid being destitute or filled with 'sorry cases.' I’m fortunate my husband cares for him, too.

The real 'win' came last week. I realized I had been seeing my therapist for so many years that we had both grown old together. I felt a deep, persistent dislike for her for years but I always felt I was too stupid to not go. Weird hey. …. yet I felt um …… propelled to keep going. I finally realized it was transference. I was projecting the old mother onto her. In my eyes. All these intellectual words all these intellectual diagnoses mean nothing unless you can actually feel them

Seeing that truth was like a tonne of bricks. It’s a heavy, solitary realization to admit the love simply wasn't there from my mother. But being 'correct' about it—and finally seeing the therapist for who she is, not who I wanted her to be—is a relief. Im guessing even though my husband and I bicker like all the time it’s safe. safe harbor has finally allowed me to look forward.

Freud once said the goal of therapy is to move from neurotic misery to common unhappiness. That’s me. It’s a heavy, solitary truth to admit the love wasn't there, but being 'correct' about it is finally a relief. Having husband safety means I can finally stop being 'the problem' and just be myself. 💛

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You're right, we absolutely do. And we are all incredibly courageous for doing so, hey? @PeppyPatti 💛 Your Sane family hold you with such importance too!

This is so interesting to learn about you, Peppy. I can't imagine how hard that would have been... I know you say that your situation is usual, but you have also experienced some real challenges. And within that, I can see you have been incredibly resilient and resourceful. Learning about transference must have been so eye-opening too! To clarify, are you still seeing your therapist now that you've had this realisation?

What do you notice makes your husband feel safe? 🥰

Wow @AuntGlow

I actually remember writing it. It took me a long time to write it and I put the answer through ai to make sure I got everything.

thank you.

- iv been brought up in a borderline - narcassistic mum Dad, siblings family -

And I am guessing I was excited when I wrote this message -

it was like I was trying to sit still with what I had around me. And clarify me.

At 16 years old when I began therapy that was my choice how to live my life which was therapy and not being someone with titles.

I think it’s really easy to look at your partner and blame them how you feel about yourself.

My therapist was talking with me about retiring at 80 years old on Wednesday. I realised I have the grace to ask her to let me go when that time happens. She might not.

I had a little breakdown a couple of months ago.
my husband is the most unaware person in the world if not the universe. But I don’t drive anymore and he takes me to therapy and picks me up. And he and I are fine.

I remember when I joined sane forums it was so exciting and I believed I wanted to show my knowledge I felt like someone listened to me. But that was me still trying to show off I knew something I wasn’t just a house cleaner.

The 31 year old son is incredible. My wonderful son.

Hi @Mustang67

I reread this post did I ever reply ?

Thank you so much for reaching out and sharing to me.

Please don’t apologize for rambling - I do everyone does but I see it it’s better out than in.

this is what this space Sane forums is for. There is a kind of relief in knowing you aren’t the only one who finds

safety in bed

when the world feels like too much.

It’s not "horrible" to feel that way; it’s human.

However - it’s like us girls are supposed to be cooking scones and cups of tea bu…s….t