A song that describes your current emotional state TW

@Mustang67 Making love is the love of my life, having sex, although good fun, is but one expression of that tho!😁

Much more i appreciate a few hour hike together over some track through the forests, or extremely satisfying to just hug without any more words or needs demanding. Just to enjoy each other company. Such is loving at its most satisfying we have both learned to understand over the years.

@creative_writer @ENKELI @REDLINEZ750 @Bunniekins

As an empath i miss her wonderful peaceful heart beating right beside me, waking up my night times terrors all the time without her. Yet this is where i have to learn to let go of my need for her as well and re-find ability within myself to shake of my bad life pounding.

Loving myself enough to allow that to happen, Sadly i really struggling there. Still a lot of self hate when i'm depressed, much more than i thought i did, but that was because the love and dedication of my wife kept it from it inside of me.

Hence my battle.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89g9yMGFGlM&list=RD-63ZXxMkvnY&index=5

@DownMoreThanUp you really have a way with words and can seem to articulate exactly what you are feeling. And it comes across so beautifully when you talk about the love and relationship that you have/had with your wife. I know that you have the tools within you to be able to get through this.

And I am glad that you brought up the top of sex, as I have been meaning to discuss something, but was waiting for someone to mention it first. So here goes.

I am not sure if this needs a warning or not @moderator

When my partner and I first got together, it was all about the sex and not much else, as the time went by, that relaxed a bit and we had what I would consider a normal relationship spending time together and doing things together and getting to know each other. But my antidepressants that I have been on since about October last year have killed my sex drive, to the point that it is non-existent. I used to love nothing more than a nice passionate kiss and I don't even want that anymore. So, as you can imaging, this puts a slight strain on the relationship. My partner doesn't complain about going without, but I know he is silently frustrated. And if we do have sex, it is only because I feel sorry for him missing out for so long, but I don't enjoy it. And I don't think he really enjoys it either.

So, I was wondering if other people have had the same issue with their medication effecting their sex drive. And if so, what did they do about it, if anything. Currently I am thinking of changing my medication, but this has been the most stable my depression has been in a very long time, so I am scared that if I change my medication to try and solve the lack of sex drive issue, it might put make my depression return to the level that it previously was. And basically, I was hardly functioning back then. Looking forward to any advice, if anyone has any.

@AlwaysMyself @avant-garde @Blackcloud @Bow @Bunniekins @Chasingsunsets @Cuddlebear @Dimity @MissGremlin @Emelia8 @ENKELI @Faith-and-Hope @GezzaP @Glisten @Harmonium @heartathome @Judi9877 @Jynx @Kashmina @Meowmy @NightFury @Oaktree @PeppyPatti @rav3n @REDLINEZ750 @RiverSeal @Rosepetal96 @Ru-bee @Shaz51 @SmilingGecko @Snowie @StuF @TAB @tyme

@Mustang67 some anti depressants are good at suppressing sex drive. I never had that issue on mine and I have been celibate for a while now (by choice) so no drive is not an issue for me.

I hope you are able to sort things out for both you and your partner xoxo

This is such a relatable discussion for so many @Mustang67 @DownMoreThanUp, thank you for sharing. It can be so tough when our medication helps one part of our body/mind, but impacts another.

I wonder if you could talk to your GP about all of your options, so that you feel informed and empowered to make a decision that considers your mental and sexual health?

Also, I'm curious, are there other ways you have found that you're able to connect and enjoy intimacy with your partner? 💛

I'm game to comment @Mustang67

I offered for my partner to go to a s*x worker, but he was one of those men who needs an emotional connection as well. My emotional wellbeing and mental health are my main priority! I think it's also good to remember that stress and relationship dynamics affect our libido too. Not all anti-depressants cause a lack of libido. Can you talk to your doctor about it? 💚

@AuntGlow I have spoken to my GP regarding the lack of sexual drive, but not about my concerns, if I change my meds, that my mental health might go backwards. She referred me to a psychiatrist, who then denied my referral. So, my next step is to decide if I really want to risk going through the tapering process for something that could make my mental health worse. She was going to put a referral through for a psychiatrist in the local health network. But now I no longer live down that way.

I think I will discuss it some more with my partner and get his opinion on the matter, before I make an appointment to see my GP.

It's typical, when I was depressed, obviously sex was the last thing on my mind, but now that I am feeling better mentally, the medication has taken away my option.

I did drink too much on a couple of occasions and that has been the only thing that seems to overcome my normal lack of drive. But of course, that is not healthy and I don't see any point in drinking to excess. I normally only do that if I am extremely mad or annoyed at something these days.

I just read your response to my partner @heartathome and he said that he wouldn't want to go to a s*x worker either. When my medication wasn't working that well and my depression wasn't good, I definitely had no drive at all, and it was the last thing on my mind. But now that I am feeling better on the new meds, they have taken away my choice.

I have started the discussion with my GP, but if I want to go ahead and change my meds, I need to make an appointment, so I can get another referral to a government psychiatrist.

@Mustang67 Honestly i cry my sorrow for you. i certainly have had the same issues you speak about. Many of my medication really interfere - do they ever. Please do give yourself grace. My wife did. Tho she is not needy for sex like i always been. Yet she is really good at it when she is in the right mood. Moods i love her in more than anything of course. Yet for years it hurt to make love. Hurt the lost passion, hurt the effort it took to gratify need for togetherness misunderstood.

@creative_writer @heartathome @AuntGlow @ENKELI

So yes i can understand why you struggle. In our relationship it was very similar we were first physically focussed, however such is so short lived, even the best of times run out too soon for lack of energy or will.

While spending time together getting to know each other, sharing our joys and pains, and explain our childhood experiences. And yes then the kids began arriving and we were both far to busy providing than thinking about ourselves. Only years later we found each other back sexually. When we both had a part time job and we spend the other times together exploring the wilderness and each other in every way possible. These were the best times we both ever had together. Honest where we live you could 30 years ago have a whole beach for yourself, skinny dip, or do whatever you liked, as much and long as you like, i know we sure did!😍

However in our relationship sex has fallen on a much lower scale of importance than how it it started between us. And we are both very pleased with that. We love spending just time together and be who are for each other. What more does someone need? Than to be loved true? i have loved seen her grow her faith stronger over the years and a believe in herself. And so she has me. True love provides security even amidst insecurity.

Her love has meant the world to me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9uf94njo-k&list=RDj9uf94njo-k&start_radio=1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oGpFcHTxjZs&list=RDoGpFcHTxjZs&start_radio=1

@DownMoreThanUp What a great song. I am going to download that to my phone, for the times that I doubt myself.

@Mustang67 That is the Right Attitude. And now apply all the love you feel for others also to yourself constantly!

@creative_writer @heartathome @AuntGlow @ENKELI @Appleblossom @Realness

To love someone as you love yourself, must mean you love others loving yourself - not love them to the cost of yourself.

These are the hard lessons my wife and me are learning the hard way.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLFyh3UL788&list=RDj9uf94njo-k&index=11