Fancy a cuppa , Connect now 2

Hi @AlwaysMyself . Thanks for reading my post.

You’re right about moving being stressful. My housemate who I’ve lived with for 9 years is a big person on buying things like lego, clothes and art stuff and forgetting about what she has already and doesn’t use. She also has several mental illnesses herself along with myself yet has trouble going through things and disposing of them via rubbish or donating them to charities/op shops, etc. We lived at our previous place for 3 years and stored the stuff in boxes in the garage but we couldn’t go through them as the units other neighbors complained so we brought all the stuff to our new place and still haven’t gone through it since she’s been sick physically and mentally all year and now we have to move our stuff into storage as we’re moving into student uni accommodation and only have our own bedrooms to ourselves since we’ll be sharing a unit with 4 other students. Every time I’ve asked her to go through the garage, there’s always been issues which result in bad arguments between us and her threatening to get me charged by the police for touching her stuff, despite only 20% of the stuff being mine which I can’t get to and therefore not being done. We needed a 10 tonne truck to move the stuff last year to our new place and that was the garage alone plus a few other household items. I had to spend another $800 to transport the rest of the stuff to our current place as it couldn’t fit in the truck. I’ve been going through my things in my bedroom and I’ve got a lot of wool- I knit for charity and myself and it helps me with my mental health issues and recovery- which I’m taking to my uni accommodation as we can move in shortly despite uni not starting until late February. As it is, we’ll paying for a storage unit at $500 a month which my housemate is paying half of as it’s mostly her stuff.

We can’t get help from housing organisations or agencies as there’s been a cut in funding in housing services here in Victoria despite us being eligible in the past so it’s up to both of us to fund the 2 moves - to the storage facility for move 1 and to uni accommodation for move 2. Apparently you have to be living in crisis accommodation or have domestic violence to get funding for removalists according to one service that my housemate contacted via email yet it says an entirely different thing in their website. We are also going into uni accommodation because I don’t want the stress of being evicted whilst I’m studying at uni and it’s also slightly cheaper as all bills are included except for phone/ internet access. I’ll be doing a bachelor of social work and my housemate is doing nursing/midwifery next year at the same uni campus so we’ll be living in the same unit but studying different courses. Also, our current property manager has caused us trouble from the day we moved in - failed to get the lease cancelled by Vcat as it was a legally binding contract which everyone had signed and she got information about us illegally which Vcat overruled in our favour as she should never have got the information in the first place along with her saying we hadn’t paid rent when we did and not receipting it until made to by Vcat. She’d also give us a bad reference which would make finding a house impossible to the point of us being potentially homeless which is why we’re doing the uni thing which we both want to do anyway. Basically, we’re in a housing crisis and this is 1 way of us securing accommodation for the next year at least and having a hecs debt on top of it!

Things will get better. I’m planning to see if I can save up for a beach holiday in early February to reward myself for getting through this rough period as I’ll definitely need it- possibly to Warrnambool on the coast if possible! Until then, I’ll keep up my knitting and other self care strategies knowing that I’ll have Christmas in my new uni accommodation!

Take care!

Judi9877

@Judi9877 Knitting is such a great hobby, and productive too knitting jumpers and other wearables 😍. So lovely that you also donate some of them to charity. A bit asset to people during the winter especially when it can get so cold.

Sounds like the uni accommodation is a blessing - getting away from the current property manager (not giving a receipt for rent payment? wow that is a basic expectation that they should be doing! and for exactly those reasons - proof of payment for disputes), not to mention the improper access to your information & privacy. Downsizing is hard, and I do not envy the position you are in with you trying to encourage your housemate to go through her things also but her not wanting to. For what it is worth, if you were to only pick out your items from the garage boxes (and treat her items carefully where you have to touch/move them -eg shared box, or moving the box to access another) I don't think the police would bother you (they might have to attend a callout, but they would surely roll their eyes at your housemate and leave again?).

I wonder what would happen if moving day came, and you had all you things packed & ready and she didn't. You could still move your items and set up in the accommodation, and I guess she would then have to organise herself and her own moving transport for items at her own cost.

I realise some people also just prefer to leave it to the last minute and then rush like crazy at the 11th hour (I am NOT one of them, but I know a few! and I have had to learn to just let them be stressed at the end and stay well clear and do my own thing lol).

I think it is very nice of you to still be willing to pay half of the costs even though she has proportionally more things than you.

I have helped friends move in the past, as removalists are so expensive that it can be prohibitive. I did use a removalist earlier this year, but when I had moved into that place we co-opted some friends and family with utes and cars to all chip in a bit and then paid for lunch for everyone (cheaper!). I have helped a few friends move before, including a friend who did not have a car. She needed emergency accommodation, but because she had 2 cats was unable to get any. Thankfully we were able to find somewhere to house her and the cats for a few months until she could find a house with an available room to rent that was OK with cats.

Good thing about the uni accommodation is then you can get a good reference for them when you do want to move again. 🙂 And yay for it being close to uni I assume! I had cousins who lived on campus accommodation for their uni studies and really liked the proximity to other students (social and study life) and the lack of commute. And having lots of food options if they didn't want to cook too lol.

@DownMoreThanUp hugs and prayers my brother. Hope you are feeling better this afternoon xo

A bad day today.

Rejection email for a job I really wanted.

Spending too much time alone

Sick with head flu

Christmas tree up and break down over no kids for Christmas. No parties or cheer, just financial stress.

Chatting to numerous men through dating app but none are close enough to date. I get attached and to all the wrong people.

Cant get started on my major report. Struggling with uni, no idea how I managed to get here and no motivation to continue.

What will become of me. I feel like a loser.

😭

Hi @Messylife , it sounds like a really hard day for you today with a number of things playing on your mind.

Not getting offered a job we would really like to get is always hard. Did they give you any feedback on areas to improve or further learning/experience? (if not, know that you can always ask them if you wish to know. Sometimes it can be that they had a number of good applicants, and since they can only choose one it had to come down to the person with the most/relevent experience). Sometimes not getting a role isn't any negative implication on your ability of skills. I've applied for a number of jobs that I haven't gotten -- but I also know from feedback from coworkers and managers that I am "highly employable".

Not having your children visit for Christmas sounds a bit emotionally painful for you, I'm sorry to hear. Would you like to visit/invite other family or friends in place of them instead?

I'd love to see a photo of some of your decorations or the christmas tree if you feel like sharing (but don't do so if you don't feel comfortable to! or a photo that would be an identifiable location of course).

Oph the dating world. I haven't really done online dating in the past - although one of my friends met their longterm partner online, so it definitely can work. Distance is a difficulty these days - do they have a location filter so that you can just view people who are close enough for you?

What do you look for in a partner? 🙂 I wonder if there are groups you can join or activities locally that could be ways to meet new people -- either to be less alone/lonely or to increase opportunities to meet someone you 'click' with that might become a date later on!

Can I ask what you are studying at uni?

I did a Business Degree, but I have always been interested in social work and am thinking of maybe studying peer mental health.

What do you have to do for your report?

I don't think you're a loser. I think it's hard to feel positive though when sick and tired, and being discouraged by disappointing news. 🙂

Hey @Messylife ,

So sorry to hear that there are so many compounding issues going on for you. It sounds like a very stressful time.

In a way, I'm glad you've been able to reach out here, and you mentioned you've been spending a lot of time alone.

However, one thing I was not able to gauge from your post is what you would like from the community. This is in line with the Community Guideline, Tell the Community what you need.

By telling the community what you need, it helps the post stay recovery-focused and avoids assumption around what you need right now.

I look forward to hearing from you.

@Messylife I just looked back and realised we chatted back in late July during your exam season. (I'm the person who missed an entire exam worth 40%, if that rings a bell 🤣). Wow you must be so close to finishing that degree now! 4 months since we last chatted, so about 1 semester more next year yeah?

Hugs ❤️ @Messylife

Hello @AlwaysMyself , @tyme , @ENKELI 😊

Hugs @Judi9877 , take care my awesome friend 🧡

Just quickly popping in to say a big hello to everyone and that I love @Shaz51 your golden trumpets hehe

hugs @Judi9877, you have a bit going on, thinking of you🙏

@AlwaysMyself @tyme @Messylife @ENKELI

Hello @Chasingsunsets @AlwaysMyself @Shaz51 @Messylife @ENKELI ,

How are my friends here?

I've got a strawberry matcha on my side 🙂