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Re: Poem

Re: Poem

For everyone: I first started seeing my psychiatrist in 1998. I wrote this poem about him and therapy twenty-five years ago. As you can see, I didn't trust him at the beginning. I know now that he did and doe's care. I hope someone can relate and it's not too negative for here!

@REDLINEZ750 Here's another one. Are you okay? I'm being brave by putting it up!

Therapist

Do you laugh behind my back?

I doubt that you care less

How do you look upon my life?

Pathetic, I would guess

Did you ever give a thought

until I walk on through?

Or am I just another one

waiting patiently in queue?

You hide behind your doctor's mask

I know that's it's not you

I wonder what you're really like

Is what I see all true?

I want to trust and believe in you

But I can't believe you care

You keep your distance emotionally

and personally, never share

I am depressed and miserable

I feel unstable too

Are you glad when time is up

I wish I really knew

I'm so angry, I've no control

You won't open up to me

You have the power, I'm vulnerable

I hate the pain, you see

I sit with this every week

and I'm still compelled to come

My need for love is crushing me

I'm here for just a crumb

Does my pain amuse you so?

Is that behind your smile?

I want control that you won't give

I need to feel worthwhile

I have failed in my eyes

and it brings up all the past

Not wanted and unlovable

It's the role I have been cast

I love and hate you passionately

You hold some king of spell

Damn you for your ethics, [named removed by moderator]

But thank you too, as well

I'm feeling now, you wanted that

Though I can't say I'm impressed

I have to trust what you want

Is to see me at my best!

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In response to: Re: Poem

Re: Po

@REDLINEZ750

I wish I had a courtyard! 😉My place is a very small one-bedroom unit. I have about four meters of cement for my few plants and table and chair. There's only room for one chair outside. I'm on the bottom floor and thankfully have no one above me. Don't get me wrong! I'm grateful to have the unit! The table and chairs are from my partners mother, who has since passed. My partner lives about two hours away from me. We were both separated after the big flood because we weren't living together (he's a hoarder and I've got OCD). We'd been together over 25 years. Department of Housing had to find us somewhere to live. Because of our age, we don't travel and see each other much anymore but speak fortnightly on the phone. I'm happy where I am! He's in a city, where he loves and I'm in the country. 🙃

In response to: Re: Po

Re: Po

sounds like opposites attracting @heartathome

In response to: Re: Po

Re: Po

@heartathome @allwellcomehaveasquizzy sorry if too much haoppening for OCD

@fruitisgood

In response to: Re: Po

Re: Po

He's on the spectrum and quite deaf. We learnt sign language (Auslan) together which was very special! It's a beautiful language! Does anyone else know sign language?

@REDLINEZ750 @Appleblossom @AlwaysMyself @Bunniekins @rav3n @RebelliousAngel @Shaz51 and anyone else who can see this. I'm sorry but I can't remember many names!

In response to: Re: Po

Re: Po

@heartathome pretty sure i know how to rude and say i love you

In response to: Re: Po

Re: Po

Wow! 😲 I love it @REDLINEZ750 ! 💚That poem is so powerful and honest!! We have a poet here, my friend! I think that must have taken some guts to post. Thank you for sharing it with me! I hope you don't think I'd think any less of you, after sharing it! I'm not a judgemental person and am a recovering addict myself. I'd love to know the story behind the poem, but I don't expect anything! I honestly don't! It sounds like you're clean from something that had you in chains. I'm glad you found freedom! I have the word 'freedom' and 'one day at a time' tattooed on me as a reminder.

In response to: Re: Po

Re: Po

😏

In response to: Re: Po

Re: Po

my tattoos all got meaning behind them @heartathome even if one is my son and DIL own and run tayttoo parlours it still a meaning to that one hahaha

yeah umm thats tame, on the timeline of my writing thats nearly 30yrs breezed over, in the ebook its spread over 4 pages i condensed it for sane forum none of them visuals are in book

thank you for not being a judgemental person, i already kinda knew it doesnt take long for me to know 😁

even with your son hanging up i thought nahhh her hearts at home not in the control of societal opinions haha

In response to: Re: Po

Re: Po

@heartathome i learnt Auslan a million years ago when my autistic son was small. it was fun learning 😄 x

In response to: Re: Po

Re: Po

@heartathome @Bunniekins I am an Auslan user. 😊 I am not Deaf or an interpreter or family-to-Deaf, but use it socially. I've been socially fluent since ~2011. However I a have always been terrible with reading fingerspelling - but feel better about that because I know so many Deaf who are also terrible at reading back fingerspelling too. 🤣. It's a matter of practice, and when I was studying I was much better at it (because I used it more!) but since I became more fluent in knowing the signs for most words I don't use fingerspelling much apart from Names or very specific words that we don't have/know signs for.

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