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Re: Poem

Re: Poem

For everyone: I first started seeing my psychiatrist in 1998. I wrote this poem about him and therapy twenty-five years ago. As you can see, I didn't trust him at the beginning. I know now that he did and doe's care. I hope someone can relate and it's not too negative for here!

@REDLINEZ750 Here's another one. Are you okay? I'm being brave by putting it up!

Therapist

Do you laugh behind my back?

I doubt that you care less

How do you look upon my life?

Pathetic, I would guess

Did you ever give a thought

until I walk on through?

Or am I just another one

waiting patiently in queue?

You hide behind your doctor's mask

I know that's it's not you

I wonder what you're really like

Is what I see all true?

I want to trust and believe in you

But I can't believe you care

You keep your distance emotionally

and personally, never share

I am depressed and miserable

I feel unstable too

Are you glad when time is up

I wish I really knew

I'm so angry, I've no control

You won't open up to me

You have the power, I'm vulnerable

I hate the pain, you see

I sit with this every week

and I'm still compelled to come

My need for love is crushing me

I'm here for just a crumb

Does my pain amuse you so?

Is that behind your smile?

I want control that you won't give

I need to feel worthwhile

I have failed in my eyes

and it brings up all the past

Not wanted and unlovable

It's the role I have been cast

I love and hate you passionately

You hold some king of spell

Damn you for your ethics, [named removed by moderator]

But thank you too, as well

I'm feeling now, you wanted that

Though I can't say I'm impressed

I have to trust what you want

Is to see me at my best!

285 replies

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In response to: Re: Poem

Re: Poem

Hey! @heartathome naww cookie monster post lit my face up haha and yeah hugs I don't mind a hug I do mind who I let in my space to share them though and my forumite friend yours was received and accepted ☺️

Pooky fine as you can see never out of his sight I caught him sound asleep with an eye ajar in case I move he's funny you probably can't tell in the pic but he's actually using his paw like a hand pulling my hand down so he can inspect a cut.

Only little but he wasn't impressed.

Just had a storm come over the mountain 8 hope you didn't get rained in too much I have seen it mentioned by you it might of been coming

Your kind thoughts made a difference

In response to: Re: Poem

Re: Poem

Aww. @REDLINEZ750 It's Pooky loving you and checking to see if you're okay! I think Pooky knows your emotional and mental state really well! You're both there for each other which is just wonderful! 💞 I'm glad you've got each other! Thanks for accepting my hug. I love a happy hippy hug!

The storm hit yesterday morning around 12.30. 🌩️ Thunder and a crack of lightening woke me up. It pelted down for a while and a neighbour said there was hail as well. I felt safe though!

I'm glad you're back! I had to make a special effort to stay connected with others. 😉 Not that that's a bad thing. It's just different without you around! I'm getting a lift to my son's place this afternoon to pick my car up. I'll probably stay the night with him and head home on Wednesday. How are you feeling atm? Have you got any plans for the day?

In response to: Re: Poem

Re: Poem

nah just been listening to peel sessions on here through music thread and my own playlist in back ground @heartathome

thought it was going be a stinker today i ran bike through mountain when i went to get milk though, servo being less than a k away ended up being a nice easy fang up along and down the mountains.

deliberately left leathers behind so didnt get too carried away may of even sat behind a car a bit 😁

glad you were safe in storm

are you still with hubby?

sorry i didnt think you drove up there you got picked up family yeah?

travel safely either way and enjoy the night with son

your hippie hugs made me think of this one

Sandi Thom - I Wish I was A Punk Rocker (Official Video)

its good to be back my friend, i missed your chats also 🙃

In response to: Re: Poem

Re: Poem

I screamed. Partner comes over to see what the racket is all about. I couldn't believe the song you sent me! 😲 I have it on my playlist and hear it every few days! I love it! 🤗 I am a mostly happy old hippy and proud of it.

I'm glad you left the leathers at home and took a 'stroll' through the mountain to the servo! 😏

I'm getting picked up shortly, back to my son's place, where my car is. I don't know whether I'll stay with him or drive home today. I guess it depends on pick up time. I don't drive of a night!

I'll catch with you again soon. 💚

In response to: Re: Poem

Re: Poem

Are you okay @REDLINEZ750 I saw there were a disagreement on last night when I got up this morning and saw you were 'told otherwise' when trying to help. I'm just checking in to make sure that you're okay. I would have been devastated to be told that if I was trying to help! 💛

In response to: Re: Poem

Re: Poem

Nah shes suffered a lot and cant be with her ill friend, i know where shes at i have empathy for her and the mother both are both scared.

i have stood in both pairs of shoes.

explaining that might of been misunderstood as making it about me.

My son was in coma from TBI & seven nine ten news had taken his pictures off face book to show the country and there are people want to visit or know whats going on so they can get sympathy on social media or feel important from having information first.

its sadly the mentality of some people believe me.

likely the mother has head full of every argument handled wrong and words unsaid, same time constant questions of relatives its too much to deal with non relatives when only want be with child.

keeping people at bay sounds like a distraught parents instinct to protect a sick child.

If unaware whos genuine or whos not could bring awareness of how little she knows her daughter which is hard to face so deny all of them is safest move.

if believing it was personal she might not see the mum corresponding shows awareness of avant & jasmin bond to some degree.

reading about cards brought to lose a game of fish with ill friend is act of love clearly,

i thought mum would feel that too & could let her sit and play a hand while she had to duck off quickly if in icu for a while.

to take offence would prove false my understanding.

prayer and positive hope went after my morning devotion titled working together with Christ 😊 numbers 27 1-7

thank you for concern @heartathome it carrys wieght

how was your day?

In response to: Re: Poem

Re: Poem

We had a few bike conversations today

hope you are alright @heartathome

@REDLINEZ750 your ride through the mountains sounds wonderful. For me that stuff is a distant memory, from decades ago. I gave my leathers to the opshop 30 years ago. Wasn’t gonna happen again. Never mind.

A mum and toddler neighbour had a tiny toy motor bike which we were all playing with. His daddy had also bought a motor bike this week, then the postie came by on his scooter. 🏍️🛵🏍️🛵

Yay I could legitimately talk bikes even with the 2 more conservative neighbours present. At a child friendly level. Yay! We did lots of spinning wheels which I call physics lessons.

🎹🥁🎷🌿🌴

In response to: Re: Poem

Re: Poem

Truly, your understanding is an inspiration to me @REDLINEZ750 ! Thanks for sharing. I'm too scared to ask anything about your son. You tell me what you want me to know at the right time! I read the passage which is the first time I've read the Bible for a while. Keep the passages coming, if you want, and it will give me something to look up. I see God loving and looking after women in that passage. My dads' name looks like it's going to die out in this generation. The boys are over 35 and aren't interested. It doesn't mean anything to me but I'm sure dad would be... disappointed! Mental illness seems to run in my family, so my son has chosen not to have children. That's fine with me because I don't want to be a grandmother either. Kids are tiring! (my memories as a sole parent with father not around) 😉 Big kids as well! Do you have any grandkids? I'll catch up with you on the other threads. 💜

In response to: Re: Poem

Re: Poem

sorry @Appleblossom i am doing guided trcovery yeah its been helpfuli have enjoyed the zoom meetings too

are they a4 pages in that booklet?

thinking might hook up to orinter

In response to: Re: Poem

Re: Poem

morning @heartathome jeremiah 29 11 you have me in mine now thank you.

ive always used NIV

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