Pros and Cons

Hi @Former-Member, just wanted to jump in to say hello and that you're not alone. You seem to be falling - Alice in Wonderland style - into a rabbit warren of negative thoughts and feelings. Can we help you find a way out? When you're down there it feels absolute - like there is nothing else and there never will be - but that's not the case. You've been around the Forums long enough that we know that there are better times.

What do you need in order to get back out of that rabbit hole?

We all trip into those holes @Former-Member. And sometimes we lay down at the bottom for a while because we're too tired or feeling too hopeless to climb back out. But eventually we do because we've grown the climbing muscles that allows us to. And because those times between the falls are worth it. And because we eventually learn to grow the gaps between the falls.

Maybe it's okay to lie down at the bottom for a little bit longer. But it's important to start climbing at some point Loula. If not tonight then tomorrow.

Hi @Former-Member

Good to read that you reached out to your GP and received some help. I can feel like you - just so tired with all my dreams being blown to the wind. And the tiredness is being burned out by all the stress of life events and worry. It's takes its toll, so maybe some time out will help you to recharge. As when our body's are worn out through stress the mind follows and self care is a must then. With rest you will feel better.

I think a pros and cons list is sometimes helpful but when we are depressed we tend to focus on all the cons and then we become overwhelmed and fall in that pit - that is what brings us down. To bring myself out I try and focus solely on the good in each day and put all my concentrate and energy on that good, no matter how small, to push out the negative. Doing this enough and consistently my energy and spirit slowly lifts. It's really what we focus on and think about that can make or break us. Distracting the mind on positive activities and thoughts is a must to climb back out of that dark place and to prevent SH.

Hang onto your dreams my friend, never ever let them go no matter what - and keep striving "at a healthy pace" towards them. Make those dreams, goals small, realistic and more obtainable at first and then strive build on that. One step at a time. As nothing that is worthwhile ever comes easy. But it's so worth it when some of those dreams are realised. And it's "in the striving for them" that comes the most inner growth and satisfaction. If we don't "over do it, but reach for them within our limits by doing our best". Obstacles will always present themselves as that is life - it is the overcoming that is the goal and sense of achievement, fulfilment and moments of happiness - not always in the perceived dream.

Try and rest now @Former-Member - tomorrow is a new day, a new beginning and the best in life lyes before you.

Sounds like you found the ability to start climbing. That's fantastic @Former-Member.

The SH conversation is a scary one to have but it's pretty hard to trigger the men in white these days because the public health care system is so overloaded. If you feel that it would help your GP better understand you, or lead to better treatment referrals, then it's worth considering.

While transparency is the goal, you could test the waters by a small revelation and see how he or she reacts. That's a pretty common approach in counselling too - people reveal small pieces of the most painful parts of their story to test if it's safe to go further. The more open and real you are the better as then you open the possibility of acceptance and the most appropriate support. But you can choose the when and how.

Good luck with the rest of the climb. 🙂