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Relationship

Coco-starSenior Contributor26 Sept 2025, 3:02 pm AEST

Relationship

I have a partner that directs his anger at me- it’s made me feel unsafe emotionally several times now and I know he would never physically hurt me but it seems like there’s been a few instances after trialling living together again where it’s felt unsafe and misdirected aggression towards me. We are both Autistic/adhder’s considered high functioning. We are struggling with the situation of our rental and the breakdown of communication between our landlord and our neighbour in the strata block.

I would like to find somewhere new again but I’m unsure if I want to continue living with him as I feel like it would be more peaceful on my own sometimes or do I just put up with his mood swings 😕 we are usually really good friends but he seems angry after I come home from supports.

hope you are all well today. I’d love a real friend to talk to. But I have moved so much I don’t have anyone really left and my parents are not supportive.

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In response to: Relationship

Coco-starSenior Contributor28 Sept 2025, 7:22 am AEST

Re: Relationship

@Nez We are strong 💪 you got this.
They are actually the ones that struggle outside on their own too and rely on us a lot. Which can feel heavy sometimes I bet especially with kids?

it’s the hard path of unlearning internalised shame as an adhder- we learnt to hold in the stress as a child from our stressful family environments and traumatic situations. I’m still learning a lot. I really empathise with you- I feel like I put my heart out there all the time and constantly is not good enough for people and I lost trust easily in people once they show me true colours (it’s been happening a lot after 3 months of time I see through their masks). We must learn to have good boundaries and love ourselves. It’s so bloody hard. Men get away with a lot due to society and gender norms- and rural locations seem to be a bit backward in that sense.

it’s ok to stuff up and make mistakes, no one is a perfect parent - we are all healing from traumas big or small. I’m sorry you are in a similar dynamic. It would be so hard with kids too. Go easy on yourself, your daughter loves you and I think if it’s safe we just slowly save and plan our exit when the time comes to leave again if we have tried all options (I see a psychologist and meeting a new counsellor this week) We can only care so much for others until we have to fill our own cup back up and rest and heal. big hug 🤗 I hope I can write all this as I am not sure of the rules here yet.

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