FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Shoulder to Shoulder: Veteran Families

Crying again

Crying again

TW: criticism and threats of violence

Hi, I'm back again.

Content/trigger warning
My partner is an ex-navy who has PTSD etc. The latest argument is that I keep stuffing up making dinner. I made Stir Fry tonight. He said it was (and I'm quoting him), Shit, where is the Olives, where is the broccoli, why are the vegetables so small.

I am so stupid. I shouldn't have followed the recipe which says to thinly slice the veges.

Sometimes I get the dinner 'good' and sometimes I get it 'shit'.

I can't seem to get it right 100 percent of the time. It's not good enough.

He has said that if I don't get it right that he will throw the dinner against the wall and that I will have to leave.

33 replies

1 - 10 of 33
12...4

In response to: Crying again

Re: Crying again

hey @Carebear i'm so sorry to hear about the comments your partner made. i can see that you're trying really hard and doing the best you can. his comments are NOT a reflection of your worth at all.

humans are imperfect beings, we all mess up and we won't get it right 100% of the time - which is okay! you deserve to be spoken to with respect and kindness, not threats. i do want to check-in and see if you're feeling safe at the moment?

i encourage you to give 1800RESPECT a call/text too, you deserve to feel safe and heard. we're here for you 💜

(p.s. i've slightly edited your post to add a TW line so members know the themes hidden in the content warning 😊)

In response to: Re: Crying again

Re: Crying again

@rav3n

I didn't feel safe the first time he behaved that way. Now I've reached the point of that I just give up. Nothing I do is ever going to be right. He has worn me down emotionally. I'm tired.

In response to: Re: Crying again

Re: Crying again

Hey @Carebear,

We want to echo what @rav3n shared, that the comments from your partner are not a reflection of your worth at all. You are not stupid and you ARE good enough. We all deserve to be treated with respect and kindness, and we imagine that you have been dealing with comments like this for a long time, which must be exhausting and defeating.

You share that you were scared the first time this happened, but that now you just give up and feel emotionally drained. It's understandable why you are feeling tired, as it sounds like no efforts you make are appreciated or acknowledge by your partner.

We see that @rav3n has shared the information for 1800RESPECT - how would you feel reaching out to them soon? It sounds like having some one-on-one support would be beneficial for you during this difficult time.

In response to: Re: Crying again

Re: Crying again

Hello @Carebear 🥰

In response to: Re: Crying again

Re: Crying again

Hello @Shaz51

In response to: Re: Crying again

Re: Crying again

Hey @Carebear how are things going today?

In response to: Re: Crying again

Re: Crying again

@Ru-bee
Um, today was ok. Don't know what tomorrow will bring.
He is going on a short holiday to Sydney from this Friday to Sunday which will be good as I'll be able to reset my nervous system.

In response to: Re: Crying again

Re: Crying again

I'm glad that yesterday was a little better @Carebear though it must be exhausting not knowing what each day will bring. Have you been able to talk to any other supports about this before?

In response to: Re: Crying again

Re: Crying again

@Ru-bee

It is exhausting. I've just recently started sessions with a Counsellor at Mates 4 Mates here in QLD (town removed by moderator)

In response to: Crying again

Re: Crying again

Hey @Carebear, thank you for being so vulnerable with the community and sharing your experiences.

I am so sorry to hear that you are treated like that and it is totally not acceptable behaviour by any means. It sounds like you are trying your best and it can go either way and being threatened just seems so unfair.

I do encrouage you to reach out like @rav3n mentioned to 1800RESPECT as you deserve safe and heard!

Please also stay connect to the community here on the Forums so we can support you ❤️

Take care

RiverSeal

1 - 10 of 33
12...4