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Failing at no contact

Unknown userMember

Failing at no contact

I am failing at no contact. My ex cancelled the wedding 6 weeks before it was supposed to happen, then did 3 months couples counselling and he still ended it because he couldn’t give even the bare minimum. Through counselling we found out he has been neglecting me for years, my secure attachment has been shattered and I am struggling to maintain no contact. I know I am better off than being with this avoidant man, he has shown his true colours and I know all these things in my head but my heart is struggling to believe that he is incapable of change. I have all the healing processes in place, therapy, guided journals, support systems and they all say the same thing and yet here I am begging a dusty man to love me enough to change. Please if anyone can give me anymore strategies other than blocking it would be helpful because I am terrible at that.

2 replies

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In response to: Failing at no contact

DLNew Contributor

Re: Failing at no contact

Hi There,

Im new to this forum so i dont really know anyone or anyones situation.

Firstly, I know you're not right now, but you will be ok.

I can identify with this man. My last relationship i was working 2 jobs and had zero energy left "for my then" partner during the week. She felt neglected (as i had unintentionally made her) and if im being honest, I fell out of love with her with her constant angry attitude toward me. The time we did spend together, she was constantly arguing with me.

Do you know everything about this man?

Because after getting home from both jobs, I just wanted to be on my own and relax with a beer or two.

Im not saying im right, but maybe his priorities have changed.

And this one might hurt (i really hope it doesnt) but there is a strong possibility he may have fallen out of love with you.

I hope I'm wrong and that you're ok

In response to: Re: Failing at no contact

OaktreeSenior Contributor

Re: Failing at no contact

@Former-Member @DL

Hey both of you.

Welcome to the forums.

I guess you just need to focus on yourself now.

You can't force someone to change or to love you the way you should be loved.

I hope that you find a way to move forward.

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