Flooded

@Former-Member I have Finding Nemo curtains in my bedroom @CherryBomb Thank you. I don't really want to air my dirty laundry on the forum and I am very much in a pickle. Generally I think the forum is most useful to me as a distraction and a way to lift my mood. The thing is, I have absolutely no one that I can pick up the phone and call. Hence the post. And yes, you can be a sea-otter.

@Former-Member DBT is supposed to be a three-part very intensive model of therapy. The skills component is only one part. The other two parts are individual therapy and phone coaching. It certainly is very skills based...but it seems to me that most psychologists think that is ALL it is.

I think the fact that it's so prescribed actually appeals to me because that fits well with my black and white thinking. I particularly like the interpersonal effectiveness skills. That is the part of the manual I have re-read the most.

My dilemma is that I really need the attachment stuff that comes from a strong therapeutic alliance...and that's what I'm struggling to get. X is definitely the best match I've found...but she doesn't follow the DBT model and thus we have massive gaps which neither of us know how to fill right now. And yes, like you, I am looking to this forum to meet some of that need. But I understand there are limitations around this.

The other massive part of my muddle is that my idea of what a therapeutic relationship should look like is very muddled due to the extremely left-of-centre relationship I was in with my previous psychologist for sixteen years. I know that X is trying her hardest, and so am I...and we both know that we are trying to build this relationship against the backdrop of that one.

Anyway, I am sleepy. I will go and snuggle under my weighted blanket and no doubt get up to do it all again tomorrow. Thank you for sharing your experience

@Former-Member @CherryBomb @Former-Member @Appleblossom Thank you for sitting with me. Today is nearly done. I still have a 100% success rate of surviving each day living with BPD. Goodnight.