Trigger warning

Hey @Rhymster, sounds like a tough memory to recall and I bet scary at the time.

I understand that this may bring up some challenging emotions for you and am curious whether you have had any support around your childhood experiences? I will pop the link to the Blue knot Foundation here in case you feel it would be beneficial to reach out and have a chat with them: https://blueknot.org.au/

Thanks again for sharing your experiences 🙂

Take care

RiverSeal

@RiverSeal thank you so much was great to be able to speak for more than fifteen minutes

It appears that most of your post was clipped by a moderator. But even the short amount which remains obviously has a lot of raw emotions

Gali means water in aboriginal language i just found out .

(Unless i got that wrong)

Thats a beautiful name.

Wishing you and your family peace.🙏

@Rhymster So sad to hear trauma was introduced at such a tender age already. i know my trauma began at 3-4 years of age, and developed me a paranoid alter for i freaked my earliest demonic hallucinations without being aloud to come out of bed from a dad who believed my fears could be overcome at his stern command not to be scared and to stay in bed or get into trouble.

However after years of being lost in the trauma of these times, i learned i can become stronger that my trauma memories receiving good professional counselling. And i learned to re internalise my childish responses to the trauma, over many years, to in a healthier way than i had done when i was totally overcome by the trauma a child.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2KXtlIX_yUs

Correct

I actually have CPTSD

@DownMoreThanUp I think the above responses from @Rhymster are for you.

I also just wanted to say ty for sharing, I especially like your phrasing around the 'childish responses to trauma' - can totally relate to this. Kudos on coming so far in your journey.

@Rhymster Sad to hear that, i got that too. P.T.S.D sure gets much more complex with the C in front doesn't?

Also what made my childhood trauma even more confusing, is that i also suffered a viscous very traumatic sexual attack at the age of 11. Yet the professionals forgot to dig deeper than this assault at first, and labelled my mental condition P.T.S.D. Which caused me a lot of confusion at the time, also hearing voices, seeing hallucinations, and already suffering months long depressive spells, (tho not understanding it was depression but believing God was angry with me and that is why i felt so guilty and bad all the time,) well before my sexual assault.

Now i have learned to understand that my psychosis, fuelled by my childhood trauma and sexual assault, developed me three alters. And that to improve my life it was all about making peace with my broken self by merging myself in my alters in a loving forgiving manner, not hate myself within myself.

It is true, such is an ongoing process, but my life has become much easier to deal since i have been surrendering myself. After 9 years of merging my divided selves into my psyche lovingly and caringly, instead of hate myself within myself three times over, life has become very much more bearable.

Hoping you find help as well to deal with your trauma.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/-bKWb4wqfIU