Hi @AlwaysMyself thanks for the reply. That's nice of you to say that stuff.
I'll try to answer your questions as best I can
Could you call from a phone that cannot be tied to you personally?
I don't think so. I always block my number to make it harder to track but the police can request the provider to provide the number. It seems to slow them down a bit. I'll probably get in trouble for saying this though it is true, but this is why certain organisations like the one the rhyms with 'mane' no longer let you call from a blocked number, so amongst other things its easier for them to track you down.
Is there some other options you are aware of that you can reach out to if you are concerned that a crisis line might have a negative outcome?
No not for me anymore. I personally will not be reaching out for help when I am in crisis again. Ironically it's just not worth the risk to me. It is obvious I am on my own with this stuff and feel safer that way.
Would it help you to talk about the work stress here?
Yes it probably would. Than you.
Out of genuine curiosity would it be OK for me to ask what happens, especially the aspects that make it most distressing?
Sure. Heres what happened to me.
After the call where I mentioned the above I went to cook dinner. As I was cooking there was a sharp rap at my door. I knew pretty much straightaway it was the cops. I wasn't expecting anyone and who would knock like that. I decided then to pretend I wasn't home.
However, they knocked again, this time louder. I thought then that it might be better to answer the door and let them in rather than freak my neighbours out with some cops being obnoxious and loud on my doorstep (I live in an apartment block and sound travels).
I opened the door but left the screen door closed and there were 2 male cops there. After confirming my name they asked to me to "open the door" so I did and they let themselves in. Note they didn't ask to come in they just barged in. I told them I don't like people wearing shoes inside as it damages the wood floors and if they wanted to come in could they please remove their heavy militart boots. They said no. This made me mad, but I didn't show it.
A few moments later 3 more cops came and just let themselves in, uninvited. This mad me more mad, but again I didn't do or say anything.
They started asking me questions. I confirmed my name again and they asked if I had called <probably gonna be redacted> support line. I said my mental health was none of their business. They - well one cop, the "good" cop I suppose - kept asking all these invasive questions about my mental health. I kept saying it was no ones business. Another cop, who looked, for some reason, like the YouTuber Mr Beast, started to get pissed and started to yell. There were bit of spittle coming out of his mouth and he started to turn red. He said that I "was being nothing but rude" since they came. I said "how would you feel if you had 5 strangers with guns asking personal things" but he wouldn't let me finish. He kept yelling and yelling so I let him do it. I didn't say anything for fear of making him yell louder and give the neighbours more reasons to freak out. He was making a complete scene and I thought the best course of action was to let him run dry. I could see this was probably bit of a police training thing too. Yelling and making yourself look tough and agressive - what they would probably call "assertive" - probably gets things done quicker and pressures you into doing things they want you to do (one of the advanges to having survived an abusive relationship is you get to learn a lot about how people use certain things like tone, volume, and body language to manipulate others).
I was getting angrier too though - I understood that they might be just doing their jobs, but this was my home and no one, even if they're on a power trip, yells at me in my home (I didn't say that as it would only elevate his tension). I just stick to my line - "its none of your business". Meanwhile the 3 other cops are just standing around for some reason not doing anything. Good use of resources there.
Eventuallty Good Cop says he's going to give me a choice. I can come with them to the hospital or they can detain me and go to the hospital. The only difference being handcuffs or not. I'm pretty sure this wasn't legal. I asked what I'd done wrong and if I was under arrest, he said I hadn't done anything wrong and wasn't under arrest. I said "so I can stay here then" he said "no". I said "so I am under arrest then" he said "no". To which I replied he "should just call a spade a spade".
Obvioustly I'm left with no choice so I go with them. I thought about just telling them to arrest me and take me to lock up as I thought it would be easier to have my day in court as I'd literally done nothing wrong, but again I didn't want to make a scene and was worried about my neighbours.
As I'm in gym clothes I ask to change. Good Cop tells me he has to watch me which was kind of creepy.
On the way out of the building I ask them to please be quite so as not to draw attention from the neighbours. The other cops are pretty good but Mr. Beast, made noise and I got a few looks through the windows. Thanks champ.
The other 3 cops go off in their car, Mr Beast and Good Cop and I go off in another. On the way to the hospital I try to engage them in conversation about trivial stuff - the cop car, the computers they use. I can tell it's p*ssing off Mr Beast a bit as he puts on the radio part way through. I just lean forward and ask questions more loudly. Seriously, I know I'm coming accross as being petty but this dude really rubbbed me the wrong way.
We get to the hospital and stand around a a while waiting for them to do whatever paperwork they have to do. Good Cop and I have a little chit chat to pass the time, Mr Beast is trying to do his tough guy Moai statue thing for a while but eventually gives up and sulks alone in a chair. To kind of f*ck with him a bit I go for a wonder around the waiting room area as I learnt that he has to follow and get up from his chair. Again, I know it's a petty thing to do but I'm determined in my own little way to show them/him I'm not afraid of him and I'm going to take whatever little freedoms I have to their limits. For the rest of the time I research my rights as a inbvolunatry patient on my phone.
After about an hour we are told there is a bed ready for me and are lead to it. I'm introduced to the nurse and the cops leave. Good Cop bids me farewell, Mr Beast disspears like a protein-shake fart in a breeze.
In the ward area I decide not to use the bed as I don't want them to remake it and waste fresh sheets and a pillow. I just sit on a chair next to the bed. I know from my research just beofre that if a shrink doesn't see me within 6 hours I can leave.
For something else to do and to be sure of these rights I ask the nurse for a copy of my rights as an involuntary patient. She goes away and brings back a pamphlet so old it has the state government logo that was replaced back in 2012 on it. It's about general patient rights, not involuntary patients. Pretty useless to me, but I didn't push it. Instead I turn it into paper planes and try to hit a mark on the wall accross from the bed in my little "room" thing. The rest of the time I make idle conversations with the nurses when they come by and do my vitals. I learnt about a blood pressure and how those blood pressure machines that expand on your arm work. The nurses are pretty lovely and kind and bring me a tea.
By now it's a bit late and my dinner is still at home half assembled on the kitchen counter. I ask a nurse if they have a vending machine or something nearby I can use to get something to eat, she says no and unfortunely they don't have any other food either. So my dinner was a cup of tea and a couple of stale biscuits. It's not a big deal and I don't say anything but being hungry and low on blood sugar doens't help my mood much.
At some point I get a neighbour. The ambos wheel in another guy who is off his face on something or other. They're speaking very loudly and I can't help but overhear that he's in for the same reason I am. Thankfully I also hear a confirmatoin on the 6 hour hold time thing which gives me hope (funny how no nurses or police told me this).
The rest of the time I spend just watching the clock ticking down those 6 hours. I go for a lap around the ward just to strech my legs. However, Mr Beast's cousin is there working security and yells at me saying I can only walk from my bed to the bathroom. As I was in a pretty foul mood I almost said some smart arse comment back but held it in - it wasn't going to help anything and I was worried it would somehow prevent me from leaving for some reason.
Eventually at with about 30 mins left a Mental Health Nurse arrives to talk to me. I am both relieved and anxious about this. Relieved that this might mean I might get out of here quicker, but nervous that she might decide to hold me for some reason. I kind of just hoped the last remaining 30 mins would've just counted down and I could've just left.
Anyway, I do the whole telling them what they want to hear thing and it seems to have worked. She says she's happy for me to go home but on 1 condition: she calls someone to talk to them about my conditon. I ask if she means my GP, she says no she means a friend or family member. My heart sinks. I'm not gonna stress out my elderley parents with a 2am call from a random nurse from the psychward - that's out of the question. I don't even tell them about my MH stuff. Same with my friends - we're not that close and not on those kind of terms. Unfortunetly I have to admit to her I have no one to call. She says she will have to get someone elses advice, a psychiatrist.
Eventually he comes too and I do the whole telling them what they want to hear thing again. He says he has to make a phone call. By now there's about 10 minutes left on my "hold".
While the psychiatrist is away making his phone call this 10 mins counts down. Times up. 6 hours is over. I gather my things and bid farwell to the nurse. However, she tries to stop me. I explain to her that my 6 hours is up, and that the psychiatrist has not decided to keep me in. She rushes back to the nurses station and simple crosses out the arrival time on the paper work and adjusts it to add another 6 hours. From my readin I know onlty a mental health practitioner can extend the hold. I calmly explain this to her but she flat out denies it. This make me quite mad, but again I try very hard to control my temper and let nothing out. I've played by thier stupid rules and been nothing but nice and compliant to the nursing staff. My time is up, I've done nothing wrong, legally I'm allowed to leave, simple as that. Before long another nurse is getting involved and I can sense this is elevating. I take a step back to defuse the situation and calmly explain things yet again.
However, as I'm doing this the psychiatrist returns from his phone call and says I'm free to go. I get out of there like a bat out of hell.
I come home around 3:30 get maybe an hours sleep and go to work the next morning becuase, well, capitalism.
Anyway, that's the pretty much the sum of it (well this time - it's happened to me a couple of times now). I hope you don't mind me trying to make the story a little entertaining to read. It's mostly just waiting with nothing to do and having to deal with atiitude from burly blokes (cops like Mr Beast and security) who have anger problems from the 'roids and see you as someone they can try to pick on and get a rise out of to pass the time.
Would reporting it formally give you any sense of voice and agency in responding to your rights?
Yes it would, but it's very, very hard to do. The ombudsman won't do anything without all the data and rocords. The <probablty gonna be redacted> support service I called will not give me their records without a subpeona. I've sent them a formal complaint, but I doubt it will go anywhere.
I may make a complaint to the hospital too, but as of now I would feel bad if that got the nice nurses into trouble even if I do believe what they did was wrong and not legal.
I dare not go to the cops for information or a complaint because in <my state> that would make you a target and you'd probably get fined for going 0.5kph over the speed limit everytime you drove in your car somewhere. For example: I remember when I, with thousands of others, campaigned against the draconian anti-bikie laws that would affect everyone riding motorcycles (eg you could get detained if 3 motorcycle riders were riding together regardless of club affiliation or if you were doing anything wrong) I was run off the road by a cop the next time I was riding my motorcycle.
State health department treats Mental Health worse then something they've scraped off the Minister's shoe (though a while ago I did manage to get Justice Examination Orders repealed {this is where anyone could send anyone to the psychward by just printing a form off the internet and getting a Justice of the Peace to sign it. It was mostly used by divorcing couples to discredit each other and win custody}, but this is another story for another time). Hands are tied I'm afraid.
