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Feeling caged up

creative_writerSenior Contributor29 Aug 2025, 1:39 pm AEST

Feeling caged up

The recent medication changes has calmed my brain down. I’m still feeling caged up, I know my psych is looking at more frequent therapy sessions if we can get more under ED plan. Once a month sessions aren’t enough. It just feels like the traumatic memories aren’t ending, I’ve been in therapy for years. It’s taking so long to heal. I just want to get to the point the body flashbacks aren’t so regular

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In response to: Feeling caged up

creative_writerSenior Contributor03 Sept 2025, 3:58 pm AEST

Re: Feeling caged up

@tyme I need to build more of a structured routine. I get overwhelmed with the amount of things I need to do. Hopefully it’ll get easier with all the changes I’ve made in terms of lifestyle, meds and supplements. I am still volunteering, but doing it in short bouts, 2 hours feels more doable right now than 4. I hope today has been a good day for you.

@YourLocalMHGuru. I’m part of the same generation as you, but I’m one of the younger millennials. Parents’ generation was very different.

My mum’s emotions scared me at times. Arguments with my dad at times ended with her being suicidal. Those intense arguments don’t happen as often, she has sort of mellowed with age. Still afraid of doing the wrong thing and triggering her. My parents both having a loving marriage, it’s just that my mum’s emotions can be super intense. The intensity of my emotions scare me too because I don’t want to be like that. I know I’m not like that and I tend to avoid conflict when I can (which isn’t super helpful either). I display avoidant anxious attachment behaviour. I crave relationship deep inside, but I also love freedom (to the point of hyper independence) and find it very hard to form relationships.

I think getting married later isn’t a bad thing. Sometimes it’s better if both people mature and grow. I’m noticing more people getting married in their mid 30s, and people like to exaggerate how much fertility drops. It may decrease over time, but having children is still possible

In response to: Re: Feeling caged up

YourLocalMHGuruSenior Contributor03 Sept 2025, 4:51 pm AEST

Re: Feeling caged up

I'm not a huge fan of AI due to the negative environmental impacts it has, but it is a strong tool for building schedules. Medications. Work. Hobbies. Other obligations. Maybe give that a try and plug the schedule into your phone's calendar.

Anger. That can defo be a scary emotion to be around. It's one of our most basic emotions, so it's all too easy to brew up. But anger serves a purpose. It is sadness's bodyguard. Anger defends sadness by vibrating a higher energy to tackle the problem - anger says, I dont like this and this needs to change. Where sadness often comes with exhaustion. I'm sorry you had to witness her anger and suicidal moments. I can only imagine how a little girl would feel around all of that.

You sound a lot like me when it comes to avoidance, attachment, deep cravings, and independence. Sure, there are some dysfunctions there, but recognition and addressing of them all can put you on the path you're supposed to be on and turn them into functional motivators.

You're still young. You've got plenty of time for love, marriage, and babies if you so wish.

In response to: Re: Feeling caged up

AuntGlowModerator03 Sept 2025, 5:15 pm AEST

Re: Feeling caged up

Just wanted to stop by and say it's so nice to see you both supporting one another - I love the insights and reflections you've shared with creative_writer @YourLocalMHGuru.

As always, I am here for you both as well. ☺️

I know things have been a lot for you as of late @creative_writer, but I am so proud of you for reaching out and sharing your inner world the community. What you have been through is genuinely so much for a young mind to experience, so of course it would feel confusing and overwhelming to sit with as an adult. I can see you are working so hard to understand yourself and process your experiences, so I will always remind you to meet yourself with compassion. (And to write where you can.) 💛

In response to: Re: Feeling caged up

YourLocalMHGuruSenior Contributor03 Sept 2025, 5:18 pm AEST

Re: Feeling caged up

Agreed. Creative is a very insight person with a real keenness to learn and grow. All really wonderful traits to have to work through the things that don't sit right.

In response to: Re: Feeling caged up

creative_writerSenior Contributor03 Sept 2025, 7:13 pm AEST

Re: Feeling caged up

@YourLocalMHGuru I have mixed feelings of AI. It can be helpful (like you said in building a routine) but also not helpful. AI can never ever replace healthcare workers, I would refuse to see Dr. Robot.

I only remember her being suicidal as a teen and adult. I don't really remember as a young child, but children don't understand everything, they feel everything. I honestly don't remember that far back but I am pretty sure they had arguments. I have a lot of depression running deep within my maternal side of family. I think the increased awareness of intergenerational trauma validates so many experiences many people have had. Emotional neglect and parentification comes from somewhere.

Definitely some dysfunction, but at least I'm able to talk about it more, even if it is not always so freely and with hesitancy.

I feel like things like marriage and children come whenever the time is right. I need to work through trauma, one of the reasons' why I am so sensitive to touch. Though I think I'll always be sensitive to touch, my brain is too ND.

@AuntGlow it was hard living with a parent with mental illness. She did the best she could, but she would never ever go to therapy. She is very distrusting of the process. I think she has had this mindset for a long time, it is hard to undo it. All I want to do is keep the peace and not cross those boundaries. I keep a lot from my parents. They know some things about my mental health, but a lot is hidden because it helps me feel safer

In response to: Re: Feeling caged up

creative_writerSenior Contributor03 Sept 2025, 8:23 pm AEST

Re: Feeling caged up

I feel ashamed of myself.

TW: Thoughts about eating

Content/trigger warning

When I try to eat better, I feel ashamed of my body

In response to: Re: Feeling caged up

AuntGlowModerator03 Sept 2025, 8:28 pm AEST

Re: Feeling caged up

This is really wonderful awareness @creative_writer. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Would you feel comfortable noticing what your go-to response is to this shame?

And can we potentially bring in some compassion and direct towards an act of self-soothing?

(For example, the inner child meditations you have told me about?)

Moments like this deserve so much love - so please know that we are holding space for you, okay? 💛 @YourLocalMHGuru

In response to: Re: Feeling caged up

creative_writerSenior Contributor03 Sept 2025, 8:43 pm AEST

Re: Feeling caged up

@AuntGlow I find it tricky, I was closer to target today than yesterday. Which should seem like a win, but my mind took it the wrong way. I could use self talk to soothe the inner child. Letting go of control is hard

In response to: Re: Feeling caged up

AuntGlowModerator03 Sept 2025, 9:39 pm AEST

Re: Feeling caged up

It sounds like your mind is trying so hard to protect you by keeping you in what's familiar. @creative_writer

I can imagine it would feel so vulnerable exploring these new strategies - there's an element of trust and letting go that's involved in trying new things... so I just want to say, it's bloody brave to try.

Self-talk to soothe your inner child sounds perfect. What would you like to say to them tonight? 💛

In response to: Re: Feeling caged up

tymeModerator04 Sept 2025, 6:27 pm AEST

Re: Feeling caged up

Did you get up to much today @creative_writer ?

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