Hi

oh yeah, that makes sense @ArraDreaming

glad it wasn't deliberate, but i also get that it doesn't really change the fact that it did irritate you in that moment. at least now you know there was no ill intention, hope the self-talk helps. it does take some practice hey.

it was a comment made early this morning that all morning I was stewing over and the. I tried to manage it and ended up feeling slightly even more misunderstood

Finally talked it out later today (although I have had 2 beers) and feel like it has resolved

I think it was perspective 80% an actual issue 20% @rav3n

Right, @ArraDreaming?! It was a game changer for me when I realised that sometimes my brain is overstimulated and then sometimes it's understimulated. First step is being aware that this is a thing. Next step could be coming up with a list of different strategies or something for when you're over- or understimulated. It can be a bit trial and error to see what works, because it's different for each person, but it can really help. It can help to think about the difference senses as well 😊 Just a couple of 0ddsidian examples for when I'm feeling either way...

Overstimulated: Turn lights off, lay on my stomach, go outside, take a shower.

Understimulated: Eat a strong mint (like an Eclipse mint or a Fisherman's Friend), run my long nails against my skin on my arms (not too hard), put my hands under cold water, switch tasks to something a bit more enjoyable or challenging (where I can).

This is a really wonderful reframe @ArraDreaming!

I have found myself feeling overwhelmed a lot lately too - you're not alone.

The overstimulation vs understimulation that @0ddsidian mentioned is real, hey!?

@ArraDreaming it reminds of the book analogy - where a teacher shows a class the front of a book and asks them what colour it is, and everyone says red. but the teacher says no, it's black. and they keep arguing and the kids get really frustrated. but then the teacher flips the book around, and it turns out the front and back were different colours.

i guess when we've felt misunderstood throughout our life, it does hurt when situations trigger that feeling again. you both saw the situation in different ways and made your own conclusions, and once you both talked out together, you could see each other's perspectives too. a learning moment for both of you!

I'm gonna be so annoying and just say understimulation is potentially a part of why you have trouble focusing on things, @ArraDreaming. But it's pretty hard to know whether this is the "answer", ya know? But it can't hurt to explore it.

I sometimes recommend writing down the strategies you can use, because honestly my memory can be shocking when I don't write things down, but just talking about this sort of stuff can help burry it into our brains 😂

Helps have a name to it for sure though @0ddsidian

thanks for that cause I never knew it had a name