Hey @Team19tacos, thanks for sharing your experiences with the community!
It sounds like you have been through quite a lot and it must have been really challenging to deal with. It's really brave of you to come to the Forums and be vulnerable with your peers.
I can really relate to your experiences as I am diagnosed with schizophrenia and have had several life changing psychotic episodes myself. I have lost partners, carers and friends too and it was a extremely challenging and long period of my life. I could not see how I'd ever move past where I was at the time and had to accept that my life would never be the same agian.
My life is not the same now nearly 10 years since my diagnosis and last psychotic episode but I am the same person at my core. I spent some time not working and really engaged with my treating team before I enrolled in TAFE, started volunteering, moved into part time employment. I have now completed 8 years of study at TAFE and am full time with SANE and work and volunteer with other organisations too.
My journey has been really challenging and I had a lot of self doubt and many other life challenges along the way since 2016. I did not want to accept that my life was going to be spent not working and not being able to live my life as I wanted. Many people have tried to box me in and presume I would continue to be unwell and not succeed. But I believed in myself and looked to my past for when I had been a high achiever and lived my life as I pleased.
I have had a real lot of support throughout my journey and I am still very well supported by my treating team. I was fortunate to be on the DSP, NDIS, received a lot of free TAFE and had stable housing in the rental market. Though I have learned to appreciate the hard work and dedication I have towards my recovery, study and work. Which have all provided me with the opportunty to live my life as I choose and in away that I could no thave dreamed of in 2016 when I received the diagnosis for schizophrenia.
I now don't worry about the people I used to call friends and have created a new life with new friends who appreciate me for who I am and accept what I have been through. I don't have a partner but have dated a bit but was not meeting the right people. I choose to appreciate the people in my life and hope that some day someone will turn up who can see me for me.
I hope that sharing some of my journey helps demonstrated that we all have the ablitity within us to recover whatever that looks like for you. For me it's being able to live my live with or without symptoms in a meaningful and purposeful way. We all have different services, supports and resources available to us and we have to make the most out of what we have.
I encourage you to take a look at this thread for hearing voices and psychosis: https://saneforums.org/t5/Useful-resources/Hearing-voices-and-psychosis-%EF%B8%8F/td-p/1682014
If you have any questions please reach out and either I or the communtiy can support you in your journey!
Take care
RiverSeal