Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

you've had a lot of people let you down @hiddenite, I also had a counsellor say that they could no longer see me as I was too much for her and it was affecting her. And it shattered me and sent me backwards for a long time. Her comments to me was that if I wasnt going to leave my husband then I knew what would happen sooner or later and needed to take responsibility for that. my shame and self worth plummeted even further into the negative stratospheres that it was already with that comment! But after speaking to my (now ex 😞 ) psychologist, I really found out that she just really didnt have a great deal of skill or knowledge working with someone who had and was experiencing what I was... that's not to say that she wasnt a very kind and caring person... she was and she did a huge amount for me. So I guess I want to say that to some extent i do understand where you are coming from. The psychologist I was working with up until recently was someone who i finally was able to connect with to a higher extent than i have been able to before... even though I still couldnt let down all of the barriers most of the time to being completely open with her and but the connection allowed me to start some healing that two years ago i wouldnt have dreamed was even possible. I just want you to know that it is possible to feel better than you do know, I hope hope hope that very soon there iwll be someone come into your life who you can connect with...

Another possibility i thought of... was maybe you could try online counselling of some sort...? I find it so much easier to write than to speak out loud. When ever I use lifeline I use the chat service hehe! and same with the suicide call back line.. they offer i think 3 online counselling sessions. Another place that can do some online counselling (I think but i ahvent actually used it) is the 1800Respect website.. i think if you google that it would come up....

Please don't give up, sending big hugs your way if you want them!

LJ

I know you are trying every day 🙂 i wish i could help! Yes I have found the Suicide Call back line to be really helpful too and non judgemental too, but yes, agree.. its not about long term solutions but it does get you to another day...

Hiddenite, have you looked into Dialectical Behaviour Therapy? It may be the very thing that will take you out of all this pain and suffering. It works very well with suicidal people.

Hi Karen,

Just wanted to check in and see how you are going today? Sounded like yesterday was exhausting but you were trying hard at getting through.

Take care

AB1

Breaking days down into 'do-able' time sounds like a great plan as does distraction and avoiding triggers. Sounds to me like you are doing ALOT to help yourself.

Take care