Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Glad to hear you're back home at least. Sending you some big cyber hugs for a bit of support.

All the best Karen,

Ellie.

@hiddenite

Dear Karen,

Its so good to 'see,' you again. Can i ask you a question ? In that......caring about us for the last few weeks and then......

Coming back is in itself an achievement ?

Its all about small steps.....

i feel like this too....that im not,' strong enough...other people show more and harder stories thaN me......

I think tnats normal too .?

Hi karen,

I'm sorry to hear about the report on your girls, but with that report take from it the knowledge that you have the power to transorm those things. I was a teacher... and I worked with kids from so many backgrounds where bad things had happened to them. They were sometimes angry kids, or withdrawn, or both in different minutes. But I know that love, kindness, respect and focussing on the uniqueness of every child leads to positive changes. Kids heal, so much better and faster than we adults do. Their future is not set in stone, they are not 'damaged goods'. They responded to traumatic events the way that kids do, now you can give them safety and love and repeated experiences that show them the world is safe. You can take charge of that now. Use the report to guide you on what areas to focus on and there may be specific activities or games or ways of talking to your girls that will help them too. Blaming yourself and harming yourself because of your guilt wont help your girls. Stay safe, sending strength and hope,

LJ

Things have been up and down with us. The court case is coming up in 3 weeks, im feeling really alone iwth it all. and not really sure how to manage childcare over the court days but trying to organise some childcare and out of school hours care for the kids, but that is going to be stressful for them and in turn harder for me but its only for 3 or 4 days, so i keep telling myself... and just feeling quite hopeless about it all but... I have had the help of a support worker from Uniting Care Wesley helping me to get things sorted or id be completely lost and have nothing done or organised, so im lucky. Unfortunately i've had to stop seeing my psychologist becase of money and that's been hard too. 😞 Money sucks!!!! School Holidays start next week, im looking forward to them but kind of dreading them too lol, long days in winter to fill inside with my busy little boy! But will be nice not to have the morning mayhem.

Hope you've had an ok day,

LJ

Dear @Former-Member

Dear @hiddenite

You have both written revealing Helpful messages.....jeepers, I Knew that @lisajane had a few little tricks up her sleeve.....

Karen, my son's grade 4 teacher said some very disparaging this to me about my son. I was shocked but also grateful that my fears were confirmed, she really was the silly billy I thought she was. My son's grade 6 teacher embraced him and she was able to bring out his true talents and wow.....the whole school found out how talented he really was when he led a School assembly.

The teachers were talking about my son for a couple of days.

I digress.........this thing is .......that if your not able to act.......because of being vulnerable

There is no problems. You have got people who can help you. In the next appointment, you can softly speak to your parents, to your psychiatrist, or someone you feel you can

1. Your children are a bit batterred up and they may need to see like a tutor to make sure their schoolwork is up to standard.

This is what wil, give them confidence right now.

2. You have paid therapy and you Love your children. They are properly cared for by your parents. They are not suffering.

They are resiliant.

When tne son i wrote about turned 21, he had his first psychosis. When a friend chucked a plane ticket at me fo see him, the first thing my son said to me when i arrived at the Psych hospital is , ' i remember what my Dad did to you.' But I have had heaps of therapy and so had he and we spoke about it in an adult way.

What saved my son was he went to live with a family member who tutored him through school and he got a high mark for HIgh School. What he loves now is going to University. He will probably take several more years to finish but whatever.

It was great.

nope, not pathetic to be scared! my 4 year old often hits out at me and it really makes me think of things that have happened, that i've failed as a mum, that i dont know how to help him and frustrated... I used to give him 'time ins' next to me when he was doing something wrong, but now if i sit him close to me for his time 'out' he just repeatedly hits me, with his hadns, or whatever is handy! so I now sit him in a safer space... still where he can see me (because he's terrified of being seperated from me physically when he's upset). but its really hard. Sometimes i need the time 'in' time for me to breathe and remind myself that we can both get through it... Most of the time he's a sweet heart and gives the best cuddles and 'super glue' kisses! He just reacts very quickly when he's scared or frustrated (fight or flight response.. and he has little control over the initial outbursts). but he is settling more quickly now that he can do things like count to four and take two breaths... (that abc2 Tiger show taught us that one!!). And when i used to see the child psychologist with him she taught him about his engine running too fast and how to slow it down.

The support worker I have visits twice a week when the kids are at school, one day we do some house work and stuff, the other day we do other things like get jobs done outside of the house that i have trouble doing, go to appointments, or just talk through things that are happening. It has helped a lot. I think it was through ATAPS funding that was organised for me before being discharged from hospital. Do you get any home help or visits? Might be worth asking your psychiatrist if there is anything available?

LJ