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Despair potential trigger: abuse

hiddeniteSenior Contributor30 Jan 2015, 8:13 pm AEDT

Despair potential trigger: abuse

I have been diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety, social anxiety, and depression.

I saw a trauma psychologist for 10 months twice a week, but she stopped seeing me when my safety became an issue while processing the trauma.

My symptoms are so bad now I isolate myself in the car everyday to avoid triggers and flashbacks. Unable to go to strange places, talk to people. Just don't belong anywhere. Anxiety so bad I shake most of the time, chest pain and hard to breathe... This isn't living......

I'm too damaged to be helped, I have tried but no one will help me..... They just tell me its too complex and they are unable to help. I don't know what do do I have no support isolated, alone and scared....

1050 replies

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In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

hiddeniteSenior Contributor02 June 2015, 9:56 pm AEST

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

My girls are so angry at me there will never be a win win I just make everyone upset. Can't do anything right

In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

hiddeniteSenior Contributor02 June 2015, 10:13 pm AEST

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

So scared it doesn't make sense how can I be so frightened that it stops me from living.
what a waste

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Unknown userMember03 June 2015, 10:54 am AEST

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

Give the girls some time and keep giving lots of reassurance and love, as i'm sure you are doing. Fear is really hard to get through when you've been through bad things but it is possible. Just keep using whatever strategies work for you. Have you found a therapist or counsellor who you feel comfortable with or mental health person? Keep talking through it and know that you aren't alone,

In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Alessandra1992Senior Contributor03 June 2015, 8:29 pm AEST

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

Hey @hiddenite
The first few days, nights and weeks might be pretty rough going as your children will be wanting you a lot, but at the same time, be feeling a little unsure around you. You might be feeling a little unsure around them too..Life is pretty different outside of hospital.
Have you been given any referrals to community mental health? Or maybe followup from the mhu?
I think @kristin posted some links to some help available through an organisation that sounded as though they were very experienced at working with women and children with similar experiences to you..maybe you might like to make contact with them?
@krustin can you possibly repost the contact number again for the woman who you found to be supportive and helpful?
In the meantime, it is a freezing night with a full moon in Melbourne so please come sit by the bonfire tonight.. Milo and Horlicks and toasting marshmallows on sticks..or perhaps a hot water bottle to hold whilst our toes warm up..

In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

hiddeniteSenior Contributor04 June 2015, 8:41 pm AEST

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

Thanks I would love to sit by the fire. I'm so cold and exhausted.
My thoughts are with everyone. Your strength and kindness reminds me that I have to fight another hour.
Kristin please keep fighting be kind to yourself. We are all here for you unconditionally. Any time.
Take care guys
Karen

In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

PeppiPattySenior Contributor05 June 2015, 1:45 am AEST

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

Dearest Karen

We all so care for you. You reach out and give as well.
Xxx

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

kristinSenior Contributor05 June 2015, 9:59 pm AEST

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

Dear Karen,

I'm so glad you're home again. I hope things settle down soon, it has been such a huge upheaval for you and the girls. The fire and the candle are on every night. Come and have a Milo or a Horlicks and snuggle up in a big chair.

I have some photos of the river and the mountain for you. It's been a very bumpy couple of weeks. I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate your thoughtfulness and kind words with so much on your plate already. It shows what a beautiful heart you have.

I went for a walk along the trail this morning, the sunshine and frog-song were gorgeous, I hope you got some sunshine today too.

Hope for a river walk endures...

Kindest regards,

Kristin

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

EllieSenior Contributor06 June 2015, 8:49 am AEST

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

I can understand you being cold and exhausted Karen. This is the worst time of the year to be dealing with going into hospital and then having to come home and face the world again. It will take a while for things to settle down, especially as the kids seems to be having difficulty understanding why you had to go away. One day they will see though.

Being frightened by everything is a feeling I also know well. Totally irrational I know, but it's horrible what the mind can do to us.

I'll keep thinking of you Karen and hope that things settle quickly for you.

Ellie.

In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

hiddeniteSenior Contributor29 June 2015, 6:35 pm AEST

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

Hi
I'm sorry I haven't been around. I think about everyone and wonder how they are doing.
I only lasted 16 day's out of the mental health unit before having to go back.
safety issues so tyred of the cycle im stuck in.
so low. ..so many medications still nothing has improved.
Too broken to be fixed.
I envy the strength people show here and the relentless battles that are fought.
Karen

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Unknown userMember29 June 2015, 7:49 pm AEST

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

Hi Karen,

Glad to 'see' you here! Sorry to hear that things havent improved for you yet. Are you still in the unit now or home again? Be kind to your self and try to focus on the small things that you get done each day, might be just having a shower, sitting outside for a bit (if you are allowed, or in the common room etc) for a little while. Take pride in the small things that you get through/ get done. Every little step is important,

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