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Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Hi

I have been diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety, social anxiety, and depression.

I saw a trauma psychologist for 10 months twice a week, but she stopped seeing me when my safety became an issue while processing the trauma.

My symptoms are so bad now I isolate myself in the car everyday to avoid triggers and flashbacks. Unable to go to strange places, talk to people. Just don't belong anywhere. Anxiety so bad I shake most of the time, chest pain and hard to breathe... This isn't living......

I'm too damaged to be helped, I have tried but no one will help me..... They just tell me its too complex and they are unable to help. I don't know what do do I have no support isolated, alone and scared....

1050 replies

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In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Hi Karen,

Glad that you are as ok as you can be. I'm here thinking of you tonight. Sending warmth and a soft blanket if you want one. I'm wrapping mine tight around me, hoping it'll keep me together! Things are rapidly falling apart here, so much more than i can handle i think. A counsellor today told me i have so much going on, shes not sure how to help me. LOL that gave me confidence! 😄 ahhh if only there were fairy god mothers and magic wands huh!!

My lil girl had swimming tonight, and i did have a bright moment watching her shine. She did her first ever unaided long lap of the pool, then was so chuffed with herself she went and did another one! She was so tired after but all smiles. was something nice to see and i'm going to hold on to that moment tonight and the bright smile she had.

Thinking of you,

LJ

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Hello @Former-Member

you are the expert of your own life. It maybe that you will have to guide the worker, telling them what you would like them to do. Chances are she will be relieved to have direction. Things do not work in isolation, focusing on one area will most likely have an effect in another area. Focus on what seems most important right now, and that you can change.

Although transparency can at times be confirming, (if presented correctly, eg with acknowledgement and empathy), I'm sure her statement had the opposite effect, and was a little unfair.

Give it a go...

the story continues

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

"She's not sure how to help me....."

Interesting.

you could see her next time with a list of everything listed in your life. And work out the most important one to focus on.
It's just an idea......
you are the mistress of your own destiny.

a long time ago. 12 years ago, this was my list.

1: Father that hates me
2: mother that yells at me and ridicules
3 son who keeps on collapses, ends up in theatre in hospital
4 high school/ sons
5 oldest son mental ill health issues
6 father pushing me into VERy abusive relationship with bad person
7 paying for therapy
8 work
9 GP not good enough
10 time for myself
11: medication to deal with my own MI
12: my need to do art.

I think that it always good to remember caring for yourself in every circumstance.
A LOT of my list has melted away but there are still some there. I wish I knew this 12 years ago and I could address the most important one straight away.

What can you write for your list ?

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Hey Karma,
How are you? What does transparently mean?

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Thanks @PeppiPatty and @-karma-

@hiddenite sorry i kind of highjacked your thread! I just mentioned that the counsellor had said that because i know you are having similar issues with your mental health team. 🙂 Its been a busy day here, but havent gotten much done! Hope that your day has been as restful as possible and that you are getting some positive help. If not, i really hope that you will be able to be going home soon.

Keep going, sitting here with you tonight and holding onto some hope for healing and help for you.

LJ

In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Only just got these pics because my computer has been running sooooo slow. All good now fingers crossed.

Such lovely pics. That area is amazing. I used to walk around there when there were no houses in sight and remember it fondly. I wish I'd never moved away from Melbourne. I might also be getting better treatment now, but I can't ever afford to move back, as much as I'd like to.

In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Hey @ Ellie
I reckon wherever u live, a bit of Melbourne goes with you! What do you enjoy most about Melbourne? I always lived the cafes and groovy shops in laneways of the city and unexpected places around Melbourne like the new bar on Platform 12 at Flinders St...

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

When I drive down to Melbourne, I always get a feeling like I'm coming home and feel quite low when I see it in my mirrors. I love the little shopping boutiques, the sidewalk cafes and especially Lord of the Fries mini-burgers.

I also love the leafy suburbs, the parks and the Dandenongs. In fact I love most of Melbourne. I go down once a month for our BPD support group meetings, so I still get to see a bit of it.

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

I've visited Melbourne a few times, its a nice place, but i don't know it very well. I think Sydney has been my favourite Australian city though, followed by Alice Springs.

Hi @hiddenite, Karen, I've had a long long long day today, i'm exhausted right to my bones.. im really really hoping that that means that I'll actually sleep tonight! I'm snuggled up in my blanky like usual, now that they kidlets are in bed. Its peaceful and quiet. Hoping you can find some peace in your space and that you know we're here with you.

LJ

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Hey @Former-Member

Sorry to hear it's been a hard one. I'm feeling quite shattered. Not entirely sure why. Another too busy week hasn't helped. I hope tomorrow is a better day: for you, for me, for Karen( @hiddenite ), for us all.

Hope for a better day endures...

Kindest regards, Kristin

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