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Despair potential trigger: abuse

hiddeniteSenior Contributor30 Jan 2015, 8:13 pm AEDT

Despair potential trigger: abuse

I have been diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety, social anxiety, and depression.

I saw a trauma psychologist for 10 months twice a week, but she stopped seeing me when my safety became an issue while processing the trauma.

My symptoms are so bad now I isolate myself in the car everyday to avoid triggers and flashbacks. Unable to go to strange places, talk to people. Just don't belong anywhere. Anxiety so bad I shake most of the time, chest pain and hard to breathe... This isn't living......

I'm too damaged to be helped, I have tried but no one will help me..... They just tell me its too complex and they are unable to help. I don't know what do do I have no support isolated, alone and scared....

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In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

peaceSenior Contributor02 Feb 2015, 1:31 am AEDT

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

Hi @hiddenite I think your really brave, courageous actually because living with such anxiety and depression and negative perceptions along with the abuse and rejection you've suffered and in spite of that you are compassionate towards others. I'm encouraged by your desires to make life easier and somewhat more pleasant for yourself. Take pride in your desire to work and search for the healing treatment you so dearly need. Even in your darkness never give in and lbelieve in that false confusion in your head.
I do like to read inspirational biographies, I use spiritual practices/ healings and books. I use affirmations and meditation and plenty of distraction therapy. I love this forum it has been a gre5place for me to share, give, receive, read and learn and mostly not feel so friging alone.
So thats most of what helps me however we are all very individual.
Really hope your sleeping peacefully tonight.
And also hopefully you have a solid productive appt with your GP in the morning.
♡♡♡

In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Unknown userMember02 Feb 2015, 10:22 am AEDT

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In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Unknown userMember02 Feb 2015, 11:38 am AEDT

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In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

hiddeniteSenior Contributor02 Feb 2015, 2:43 pm AEDT

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

Oh crap gp has called the CAT team I can't go back to the mhu.

Freaking out don't know what to do

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

hiddeniteSenior Contributor02 Feb 2015, 2:53 pm AEDT

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

Hi @peace

Thanks for the kind words but that's not me. Pathetic, worthless, hopeless, overwhelmed, certainly not brave gone bush isolate myself I don't want to be found. What a mess

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

NikNikSenior Contributor02 Feb 2015, 5:36 pm AEDT

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

Hi @hiddenite

I'm really glad you went to your GP, you should be really proud of yourself. What did he/she say?

Please be safe tonight. Your GP called the CATT team because they were concerned for your wellbeing and believe it's the best place for you right now. I know it's scary due to your previous experiences, however, there is a chance it won't be the same. There are a few members who have been in MHU and had a variety of experiences. Some people had a negative experience, like you, however, they went on to have some very good experiences that made big differences when they were admitted involuntarily.

Please don't allow your previous experience to close you off from treatment through mhu. The CATT team are wonderful and I hope you let yourself get treatment.

Nik

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hiddeniteSenior Contributor02 Feb 2015, 6:01 pm AEDT

Re: Despair

Hi Seuss

Wow couldn't put it better.

I really didn't think anyone else feels like me. You could have written that about me, its exactly how I am.

I am medicated didn't want to . it obviously hasn't helped, always on heightened alert, and memory and confusion no better. Just getting worse.

Thank you you have no idea what it means to me to know that someone understands and isn't judging me.

Take care

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

hiddeniteSenior Contributor02 Feb 2015, 6:10 pm AEDT

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

Hi Nick

Feel like a big mistake going to the gp. Said that he is unable to find a psychiatrist who will see me. That he's not prepared to carry the risk. In such a panic anxiety awful....

Just feel like I've been backed into a corner.

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

BabooSenior Contributor02 Feb 2015, 6:21 pm AEDT

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

Do you have any other support people around you to lend a hand or ear if you wanted them to? Family or friends?

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

hiddeniteSenior Contributor02 Feb 2015, 6:29 pm AEDT

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

Hi Baboo

No support or friends. I have been isolated since I was 17.

24 years, never allowed to work, he controlled everything.

My parents tell me to toughen up. That they are ashamed of me because I ended up in a MHU. Called me pathetic.

I'm unlovable,

Just scared and alone in a world I don't belong in. Waste of space......

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