I think this is a common feeling, in that many of us feel this way and experience this situation. Including me ! I am certainly sorry you are going through this, but please know you are not alone.
I think it's helpful, and I find it helpful to work through some of the following:-
1. You are not worthless. Number 1, you are absolutely NOT worthless. You are very worthy as a human being so lets get that clear.
2. We are all different, and our circumstances are different - so it's mindful not 'comparing' me to others when I read things and hear of how someone else is doing.
3. depression and anxiety are responsible, in my personal belief, for us feeling and thinking this way or in believing we are worthless. Illnesses tend to distort our thinking, beliefs and perceptions.
4. Acknowledge all the things you are trying, because this shows you are doing something about it. Trying even in the face of perceived failure is better than not trying at all. Give yourself a little pat on the back. The aim is to keep trying, and trying with support when we feel ourselves overwhelmed or lacking motivation.
5. All these 'beautiful and successful people' we see on Facebook deal with their own situations. We read the positive, but I assure you every person has non-beautiful and non-successful situations in life.
6. When you're feeling worthless, you are, in my personal experience, only feeling the negative aspects of your day. I have started doing a photo-diary (not everyday, but some days and its only started in the past week or so). It has proven to me that there are beautiful things amongst my cloudy, miserable and mis-perceived view of a hopeless life (ie mine). I look outside my back door in my overgrown, weed infested yard (my garden) that I haven't been able to do much with for years. Yet in amongst that mess are flowering plants, bird life, beautiful sounds, bird nests with chicks, flourishing plants, and many other things that I don't notice. Food for thought. 🙂
So I have had to see beyond my mental illnesses and past my pain. Mental illness is like putting blinkers on a horse, they distort the true vision of the world and give you a limited view. Whilst we may have difficulty taking those blinkers off, we can turn our head and change the view. We can and do adapt.
Congratulate yourself that you seek trying things like mindfulness, art therapy and the like. I would also consider therapy (psychologist etc) to help you explore a wider range of possibilities, maybe even journalling regularly so you can diarise your feelings over time (a few weeks, a month or two). A therapist can work through why you feel worthless and then target some strategies that work in with your illness/es, lifestyle, limitations (and we all have those!, I know I do), etc. I like to think outside the box too, as I find that medications generally have not been successful - but some have helped - yet therapy is my best defence against my illnesses. Re-training how I think has its advantages.
Whilst I understand stopping Facebook, it's also closing off possible positive interactions and support. But this is a personal choice and only you can determine how long you stay off FB. You can choose to not see some posts, scroll past them or to stay off for a week or so and see how you feel after that week.
I wish you well. Keep trying, seek more support if that is helpful to you. Maybe keep a diary and find all the wonderful things that you may not notice unless you look a bit closer. Of course, log the not so wonderful things, do a pros and cons list. What I thought was ALL negative, proved to be a bit of both negative and positive.
I wish you well, and take care. Keep us updated of how you feel over the next week or so.
JJ.
