Ask Anything Monday!

This week's Ask Anything Monday question is about parenting -

I have bipolar and have 2 children who are primary school age. They are getting to the age where they are noticing my moods more and more. I'm somewhat healthy - I take my meds and see a psychologist, but I'm still concerned I'm causing them damage.

At the moment, they just think mum is a lot of fun when she's manic - that boost of energy, I could just run around with them for hours and get involved in their games. But I'm not sure what impact this will have in the long run, nor do I know if my low moods impact them.

Are there any other parents here? Are there any techniques you use to ensure you children are not impacted?

So glad that you are asking this question... Its something I ask myself all the time, Im not bipolar but I have anxiety, depression and PTSD and im always scared that i'm not enough for them, and I know that they've already been affected by my previous relationship where their dad was very violent and controlling.

I do believe though that one person is never enough for any child no matter how skilled or healthy that person could be. I think that what kids need is a range of different people in their lives to be there for them and give them a whole range of experiences. Nobody is always happy, or always energetic but if they have a range of people around them then they have someone to kind of fill in those spaces at time... The saying 'it takes a village to raise a child' is so true i think.

I've always had trouble with knowing how to explain different situations to my two without over sharing information that they dont need or confusing them etc. I've spent a lot of time asking for advice from my psychologist and its really helped to discuss some things before I talk to them. Most of the time it just comes down to asking myself what they need at tht point in time.

I dont have many close friends nearby and its somethig that I really want to work on for myself and the kids (for the above reasons). Another thing that i've been learning to do is be jsut a little bit selfish at times and look after myself better, so that i stay healitier and more able to keep being the best parent i can be. I colour in at night to relax, i have booked my youngest into childcare one day a week so that I can have 'me' time, I took this year off of work to recover, and am working on some ofthe trauma stuff that have been holding me back.

Not sure if this helps at all, but I share your worries,

good luck

LJ

Hi everyone,

Thanks @Former-Member for responding to last week's question. For those who are first timers to AAM, the purpose is to help new members who don't know where to post for the first time, or they are apprehensive to make that first step. So we help them out. By emailing us your question team@saneforums.org , we post your question up here on a Monday and let the community respond. No one will know who posted it and hopefully it will help you with what you're looking for (& encourage you to post for the first time too!)

This weeks question-

I have just got on top of my depression after 2 years of misery. While I know I should be jumping up and down with the excitement of my recovery, I'm overwhelmed by how much time I have let go by. At times starting again seems overwhelming (which in turns, brings on some of my depressive symptoms).

Has anyone else ever felt like this? How do you make up for lost time, without feeling overwhelmed!?

I have to say i agree with every thing @AllAboutMissy has said, i have struggled with this same question for 14 years, i have lost all of my 20's to MI and most of my 30's, i have never formed any friendships or relationships, and worry that i am so far behind in emotional, social & sexual education.

Congradulations on getting past your depression, i hope you manage a happy life, i think the trick is to focus on the future, and to see the past 2 years as a learning curve for your Mental wellbeing. you now have the coping stratagies that work for you.

Good luck

Jacques

@Jacques I'm 36 and my emotional maturity is in my early 20's, which slightly contradicts that high level of insight and ability I have to manage my illness.

I isolated myself for years too, what I thought was protect myself, but was more to just avoid situations and to protect others. There were times I didn't know what would happen in the outside world, so I just stayed in. Having an episode in a public forum where i'm screaming, throwing things, crying hysterically and not making any sense is not something I would ever want anyone to experience. It's heartbreaking enough knowing my boyfriend and people i love have to deal with it.

Luckily that doesn't happen anymore and after being med free for 8 months after being on meds for over 6 years, i'm having to learn everything again.

How to interact with others, control my brain/mouth filter - it's bloody hard. But each day comes and each day goes and I know things will get better.

Hi,

I guess I wouldnt look at it as a waste and in amongst the hard times there might be good things as well. For instance (and of course I'm speaking generally and may or not be applicable!!) but times when you were supported and looked after arent necessarily all 'bad memories?', learning about yourself, learning new skills in life, gaining new perspectives and understandings about the illness of depression, learning to take care of yourself and treat yourself well... No matter what we go through in life, we learn something, we grow and change from it. You wouldnt be the person you are now with out the sum total of all your life long experiences. I would maybe hope that in time you won't see it as a wasted few years, but an opportunity to change the path you were on for the better and the ability to choose better how you are going to live in the future?

All the best,

LJ

Congradulations @AllAboutMissy, you are so lucky to have worked through your MI and made it out the other side, i hope you and your partner are happy now and are able to have a bright future.

Jacques

Hi all!

It's that time again- ASK ANYTHING MONDAY!!

A big thank you to @Jacques , @Former-Member and @AllAboutMissy for your awesome insightful responses!

This week's question is:

I have had depression linked to chronic pain for 5 years and I just started to get myself back on track, when last week I was given my 4 weeks notice - as there is not enough work where I am.

The thought of looking for work again is overwhelming. I'm already limited due to the pain and I worry that some employers hesitate to hire me because of this.

What has really helped my self esteem and is a big part of who I am, is my ability to work and provide for my family. I feel like this is what I'm best at, but now I can't even do that!

I don't know where to start.

Any Ideas ?

I see things like this as a door closed, so wander down the hall and find another one. See it is an opportunity for change and for better things to come into your life. An unexpected holiday, break from working to focus on you.

Not having worked due to mentall illness and chronic pain for a few years, I have found other things to do. The time I would devote to being employed I have spent studying and probably doing some things I didn't have time to do before. I'm sure many people turn to volunteering too.

I am sorry your were given notice, but please see it as an opportunity to move on - to better things. I have never regretted the jobs I left behind. Yes it may be difficult to begin with but we adapt, and actually adapt quite well. Turn a negative into a positive as they say.

For me, I have found the things I thought I couldn't do - well I did them. The worries have turned out to be nothing of concern.

I wish you well. But be mindful of how you feel and discuss this with your doctor or specialist. Be sure to have support during this time. Take care.