Ask Anything Monday!

I live with DID (Dissociate Identity Disorder) so dissociation is a pretty much daily occurence for me. I never quite know who I am and for how long, however I do have some things I do to try and keep me grounded.

It can be something as small as holding a favourite toy or symbol (teddy or piece of favourite jewellery, or something that is special and calming). Something that when you pick it up it is settling and brings you back to the moment.

Focusing on something in the 'present', like my pets or the garden. Distractions of reading or watching TV. Something physical is usually best - touching a chair you're sitting on, feeling the fabric or leather and counting your breaths. Anything that makes you aware of the here and now, as they say. I've also read things in books and the web about choosing 5 things in the room where you are that you see, touching 2 other things like clothing or furniture, smelling 2 things (like a flower or a scent in the kitchen pantry like your favourite coffee) and so on or what can you hear around you - like birds outside, washing machine going or people talking around you.

Keeping a journal or a diary and noting times that are especially confusing, confronting or unusually amnesic - when I say amnesic I'm talking about excessively long periods of time that you might miss - like watching a movie and losing track of most of it, or noting there are skipped pages or chapters when settled and reading a novel or even missing music you're listening too. This can even be listening to the radio and an hour has passed that you can't recall because you remember a news break at 2pm but then suddenly the 3pm news break just started. Changes that are noticeable are worth discussing with your doctor, therapist or specialist.

If you suffer PTSD as well, then remembering or focusing on memories can end up making you feel worse if traumatic memories surface. We don't have complete control over our memories, and certainly flashbacks can happen without warning. This is something to be mindful of, so memories need to be 'good memories' and these can be discussed with your therapist as the safest way to use memories for you.

I feel the best thing to do if you dissociate and it's worrying or impacting on your daily living, is to seek specialist help and work with a therapist (be it a psychologist or psychiatrist - I see both) and see what particular grounding techniques are safest and best for you in your particular situation or circumstance.

I find therapy more helpful than medications. I find journalling more helpful as far as getting my feelings into a format I can work through as verbal communication isn't something I find easy even afters years of treatment.

One last thing is to ask yourself is if any medications are having an impact on your mental health. Did you start to notice dissociation after commencing a medication, or after a dosage increase or reduction? And are there any chronic pain conditions that can cause numbing or dissociation?

Just our personal experience. Take care.

JJ.

Thanks @JackJane & @kenny66 for your feedback on last week's question. @JackJane I believe it was your first post - thank you for sharing your story. I hope you continue to post in the Forums, it seems like you have a lot of insight and a lot to give.

Welcome to another week of ASK ANYTHING MONDAY!

This week's question is about medicaiton:

I have anxiety and depression. After many years of denial I got help and have been on medication for awhile now. My doctor and I both agree that my quality of life is 100% better with the medication, however, I find myself overwhelmed with the idea of being on meds forever.

Why is there so much stigma associated with taking medication?

Medication is something I'm not keen on, as far as antidepressants and similar meds go. I have not found them helpful personally, and the side effects really do negate any benefit. I've trialled many of them.

One point of view I think many people overlook is using medications for non-mental health treatments. I don't think you have stigma or concern attached to taking asthma medications, or pain medications for headaches/migraines. Or even sleeping medications for insomnia. Insulin for diabetics, etc. You get my drift !

I think if you look at medications from this point of view, it's not so stigmatising. People label us, and I think it's helpful to consider how you feel personally and the benefit you gain from the medication rather than what some people may think.

Talk to your doctor or therapist about helping you understand the reason for the medication and ways to think about it. How many people actually judge you? I don't take medications cos they don't help me, but I don't question my migraine medication or using my ventolin for my asthma. Probably bcos I've been doing it for so long and there is no stigma. Neither do the people around me (family/close friends) stigmatise me about the time I've been on antidepressants, so really where does my worry come from? Part of it is how I perceive people generally view my medication use, part is because of what I read and hear on TV and in public about stigma. If I really sat down and wrote down the percentage of actual direct stigma, it's very little to zero. That's being honest.

Changing community attitudes needs to be the key here. Try not to focus so much on any perceived stigma, and ask your therapist for ways to feel better about why you take the medication, starting on the benefits you feel.

If you are comfortable answering somebody who directly talks to you about your medication use, like taking antidepressants, then consider saying to them "I am doing so much better on this medication, and that's all that matters". Remind them that stigma is not helpful to you as a person and ask them to research what stigma means in an effort to help them become educated on mental health. Direct them to websites and FB groups/pages like SANE Australia or other organisations. And ask them if they would say the same things to a person with asthma about their Ventolin or Symbicort medication.

I know it's easier to walk away, and I fully understand some comments are upsetting and can be critical. Use that opportunity to educate that person. You are a priority and if the medication improves your life and helps you manage your depression and anxiety, then that is a big plus.

I have alternatives to antidepressants, and I'm fine with that. Pharmacotherapy is one avenue, as is seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist. Combinations can also be good. So can exercise, studying, life changes, art therapy, writing, journalling, time with friends and pets, family outtings. Do what is right for you.

One last thing is that I sometimes do a Pro and Cons list - about anything really. Get a piece of paper and divide in half - write down the positives about the medication and how it has changed you. Do the same for the negatives. Discuss it with your doctor and therapist, because I have found this method great for helping me decide whether to continue or stop a medication, and many other things. Putting it on paper and in perspective is really great. For me I had too many negatives about medications, mostly side effects, and too few positives.

JJ.

As everyone knows I am totally pro medication because of the obvious benefits to me.

I split my time between the mental health clinic, with 3 days there and 4 days at my home each week. If I wasn't on medication I would be in MHU 7 days a week, so medication is liberating and effective for me.

I had a rough trot last week and was put into the public A&E MHU because I had an unexpected meltdown. It was only because of meds that I am back fine and fit again and home today.

As far as stigma goes i find that relates more to the illness rather than the medication. When i am out and about and I have to take my pills by a certain time, people often ask what I am taking.

This doesn't mean much to them but if I say its for schizophrenia I sometimes get a reaction. So that's where the stigma lies.

I am so matter of fact in discussing my schizophrenia and laid back about it, its just the same as I am talking about diabetes or epilepsy. This disarms people generally who may have an impression schizophrenics are violent or uncontrollable.

Funnily enough people seem to be just as interested in my epilepsy as much as the schizophrenia because of peoples misconceptions about the symptoms and treatment of epilepsy. So taking a position explaining that antipsychotics or antidepressants are no different to taking any other medication, may be helpful.

Personally I have found being mysterious about my MI encourages more interest from people so I speak openly, informatively and frankly about it.

Unfortunately people with preconceived prejudices are a fact of life in many instances, not only relating to MI or the taking of medication long term.

I find once I get into a discussion of my schizophrenia and its treatment most people are actually interested rather than being judgemental.

Long term medication of a chronic condition, not MI related, probably touches a majority of the population. So most people should be aware of the feature of modern society treating such illnesses long term.

Low rent television shows, media and movies portraying depressed people, schizophrenics, autistics and people with Tourettes as asocial misfits promotes the derogatory stigma attached to MI. Those portrayals are the things that should be banned.

There is also the view put forward by the media and others that we are a nation of pill poppers ripping of the PBS.

I see ministers on the TV saying suicide bombers all have a MI- the disgraceful campaign by the media saying that MI people on the DSP are malingerers. No wonder there are totally erroneous stigmas relating to MI.

So I guess my feeling is that the stigma is not about taking medication but rather what people are taking it for.

Dear Kenny66 I admire you for taking medication openly....I hide my usage when taking them and would never openly take them in public.....and I also admire you for talking to people about them and mental illness...the community needs more people like you to destigmatize mental illness

I did go through a period of trying to hide it which was pretty well impossible as I need to take mine over the entire day.

Mostly people have been fine with it. It is amazing how many people are interested in medication relating to MI and about the illness itself.

De stigmatization in many ways relates to how you deal with it with other people. Most people think I am an ok guy who is a little strange, so they tend to be more forgiving.

I really try to not make a big deal out of it, and as I said, slip it into the conversation when appropriate.

ASK ANYTHNIG MONDAY!

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This week's question -

I have bipolar and have been married for 5 years. It's been mostly smooth sailing with my husband, who has held my hand along the way. I know that sometimes my illness takes center stage in our relationship - with periods of everything having to stop while I get back on track. He's been amazing through all of this.

He has recently approached me about going to a counsellor or psychologist together. He said we could even go to mine, if I wanted.

I'm just really nervous... why would he want to do this? What would my psychologist say? When I asked him 'why' he said so we can both understand each other better.

Has anyone taken their partner/mum/dad/carer etc to a psychologist appointment with them? Has it helped? I'm also scared my psychologist will accidently give away sensitive information I have told her in the past...

Any advice would be appreciated

I actually, personally, feel taking your partner to sessions and appointments is beneficial. My Partner comes with me to medical, psychological and psychiatric appointments ALL of the time these days.

I think depending on their understanding of your condition/s, having a specialist answer questions and help explain anything they don't understand can help - because, lets face it, Mental Illness has an impact on relationships.

I also think it's a very personal decision, and any good, trusting Psychologist will not discuss anything you have told him/her in confidence. You may also want to consider that there may be some things your Husband really needs to talk about or ask, or disclose - not secrets or stuff - but general things that you may not notice yourself. Observations or concerns that he has about you - side effects of medications, behaviours, mood changes.

You can work through things before a session and have a list of things he wants to ask, and if all goes well then look at another session. Your Husband can also be a good support person during sessions, but again, it's a personal thing. Your Psychologist cannot disclose things or discuss you without your permission to anyone else. I trust my Partner and my Therapist, so I don't have any worries about what they discuss in our sessions.

And I've learnt it's more beneficial than harmful if he raises concerns, and sometimes I even walk into a session and just sit there and say nothing, turn to my partner and ask him talk to start with.

But it's only ever been my Partner, no one else, and we've been together for a number of years.

You have some thinking to do, so I wish you the best.

JJ.

First of all your psychiatrist does not give away sensitive information to your partner or anyone else without your permission.

Previous conversations are protected by professional privilege.

My flatmate and I attended psychiatric counselling sessions even though we weren't a couple. He has paranoid schizophrenia and I have schizoaffective disorder and it made a huge difference in managing our relationship.

My best friend is dating a tourettes person and they have kept up meeting with their psychiatric professional right through their relationship.

I think its great that your partner is so supportive that he wants to attend sessions with you.

At the MH clinic I attend it is a regular feature for MI discordant couples to meet with the treating psychiatrist/therapist.

My psych says it can be a critical tool in both treatment and giving recognition to the invaluable supporting role that partners provide in manging their partners MI.

Sounds like you have a great partner.