Where to begin

Hello @MH56 and welcome.

I'm glad that you've found this space to reach out and connect. I've actually just moved your post to its own thread to make it a bit easier for other members to respond, I hope that's okay.

We aren't able to diagnose here on the forums so we can't tell you what's "wrong" with you, but members can talk about their own experiences which may have been similar. I know that reaching out here is a big step, but another step that I'd really encourage you to take is to speak to your GP. The reason I'd encourage this is that the symptoms you've described can be linked to many different mental health challenges. They might appear to suggest depression, but there are lots of presentations which can manifest in similar ways, so talking to your GP can be a great start in narrowing it down.

I do want you to know that you're not alone, many others here have experienced (or are still going through) very similar feelings to this. The community is here for you

Hi @MH56 , I am so glad you have reached out here to let people know you are struggling. Believe it or not, this is the first step to getting better. I have been where you are, many times, and I am so sorry you are feeling this way! The next step you should take is make a GP appointment to explain this to them as well. A GP can help you with referrals to a psychologist and also put you on medication if it something that you and they believe will help. A psychologist will help you "retrain" the neuro pathways in your brain. Think of these as like dirt roads, the more you "drive" them (the more you think a certain way) the more embedded they will be in your behaviours, in other words, you need to drive a different way (think a different way) to retrain your brain and leave these unhelpful behaviours behind. The way we think drives our emotions, which drives our behaviours. So we need to start working on the way we think first, in order to change how we feel and how we behave.

The next step is just making the GP appointment. They will help you with the next steps 😊 and if you arent sure of anything, reply to me and I will check the forums daily and I will continue to support you through this.

The only other thing I have to say is, you are more than what you are currently feeling, and recovery is absolutely possible!! Lets do it together. 💙

@MH56 People have gone through a sense of malaise or ennui… probably since people have been around. Not sure if you have read much, but there are art therapies and book therapies…. Different ways to deal with feelings and find meaning and purpose. Reaching out can help, and there are many different paths through it. I am wary of thinking about it as just something wrong with you. It’s a pretty mad world after all.

Durer did some etchings called Melancholia. We all have different emotions …

take care